I have many email accounts. I signed up on hotmail the very first time I got an email account and have since opened several more. I was lucky to have acquired them all before MSN stopped allowing you to download your mail onto Outlook (which I use, religiously). That said, when I open Outlook, I have about ten accounts that load. I have one for Amanda and Emilee that they share, another for my computer illiterate mother and I also keep track of Veronique's two accounts. I primarily use about four of them. One that I use to receive all of your (my fantastic readers) emails and comments, another for family and friends and so on...
The very first email account that I ever opened gets about twenty email messages a day - all junk. They go to my junk folder and I usually scan them very quickly and then click delete. I did that this morning after seeing mostly advertisements for viagra and Christian dating sites and other various spam. About an hour later, though, I accidentally erased something that I had meant to keep and when I went to retrieve it from my deleted items folder, I saw something very odd.
Directly under the accidentally erased email was an email from AZ, Amanda and Emilee's father. I just stared at it. It said, very simply: "Hello [Kate] I miss Talking to my beuatiful darling daughters and you also call sometime xxx-xxx-xxxx"
Yeah, grammar and spelling aside... omg. An email from the man I haven't spoken to in over two years and seen in over five. Always catches me off guard.
I have given AZ an abundance of chances. Every time he has contacted me, I have given him the benefit of the doubt. I even allowed the girls to speak with him a few times. Usually we hear from him the most after he has been released from jail and is clean and sober. I have no idea why I am hearing from him now since he hasn't been incarcerated for over two years. Maybe he got bored while screwing around online and decided to look me up? Maybe this will be like the last time and he won't ever respond to my return email? I have no idea...
He has been on drugs for so long now that I really don't even know who was, let alone who he is now. I do know that he hasn't been a father to my girls in all of the time that their memory encompasses. I know that he hasn't made any effort in so long to be near them or provide for them in any way. I know, in my heart, that if he truly loved them, truly missed them, that he would actually do something, anything to be near them... to love them... And yet, nothing.
This will probably be the same as every other time I have heard from him. He will simply fade back into the darkness from which he has momentarily emerged and it will be several more years before he utters a sound.
~Kate
Who: katehopeeden
Where: San Antonio, Texas Yeah, so I am all that you see here. I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty... sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends. I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am. Want to know more?
Click here!
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"The most wasted day is one in which we have not laughed"
"Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you might miss it."
"Guys are like stars, there's a million of them out there but only one of them can make your dreams come true."
"Reach for the moon, even if you miss you will still land among the stars"
Veronique
Yoda
Hot Toddy
Finding Liz
The Adorable DB
Tux Baby
Malcolm (he'll be back)
They'll All Fall
we grabbed the lion
Red Hot Sexy Papa
Snow
dooce
Madi (my stalker)
Did I miss you?
Do you feel left out and sad?
Click that link up there
and email me your blog!
Yoda
Hot Toddy
Finding Liz
The Adorable DB
Tux Baby
Malcolm (he'll be back)
They'll All Fall
we grabbed the lion
Red Hot Sexy Papa
Snow
dooce
Madi (my stalker)
Did I miss you?
Do you feel left out and sad?
Click that link up there
and email me your blog!
Well this explains so much...
In regards to sex...
a question....
What naughty my little pony are you?
The worst has past...
I'm sick
Thank you...
Lousy Friday
Yet another quiz...
Kids say...
In regards to sex...
a question....
What naughty my little pony are you?
The worst has past...
I'm sick
Thank you...
Lousy Friday
Yet another quiz...
Kids say...
Childhood Memories
My Mother
The Story of AZ
The Time In Between
The Beginning Of NY
The man from my dreams
The End Of NY
Growing and Changing
Learning to Cope
These are a work in progress. They are in the right order, but more will fill in the blank spaces in time as I write them.
"I just got done reading the history lessons on your blog (yes, I've been lurking on your blog). All the respect I had for you...has increased, like, tenfold. I don't think I could have done it. To go through what you have and not only still be able to discuss it with such wit and poise, but also to raise those three gorgeous girls. You are truly an inspiration. You are honestly one of the strongest people I have ever known, either online or IRL. Thank you so much." -Stef
My Mother
The Story of AZ
The Time In Between
The Beginning Of NY
The man from my dreams
The End Of NY
Growing and Changing
Learning to Cope
These are a work in progress. They are in the right order, but more will fill in the blank spaces in time as I write them.
"I just got done reading the history lessons on your blog (yes, I've been lurking on your blog). All the respect I had for you...has increased, like, tenfold. I don't think I could have done it. To go through what you have and not only still be able to discuss it with such wit and poise, but also to raise those three gorgeous girls. You are truly an inspiration. You are honestly one of the strongest people I have ever known, either online or IRL. Thank you so much." -Stef
www.flickr.com
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The one and only Matchbox Twenty
Teddy Geiger
Rob Thomas
James Blunt
The Trews
Jack Johnson
Mark Broussard
Gavin DeGraw
Bowling For Soup
Switchfoot
Tabitha's Secret
Our Lady Peace
Citizen Cope
Teddy Geiger
Rob Thomas
James Blunt
The Trews
Jack Johnson
Mark Broussard
Gavin DeGraw
Bowling For Soup
Switchfoot
Tabitha's Secret
Our Lady Peace
Citizen Cope
That cracked my shit up! TM
Kate went to Dallas?
You asked Kate questions?
Kate was stung by a Scorpion?
Kate met Mr. I?
Kate got pissed?
There was a mouse?
Kate shared?
Kate confessed?
Kate turned 25?
Kate shared some more?
"There are some of us out here who are living vicariously through you, okay?! So for god's sake, let us have some fun and excitement!" -Educated Liberal
Kate went to Dallas?
You asked Kate questions?
Kate was stung by a Scorpion?
Kate met Mr. I?
Kate got pissed?
There was a mouse?
Kate shared?
Kate confessed?
Kate turned 25?
Kate shared some more?
"There are some of us out here who are living vicariously through you, okay?! So for god's sake, let us have some fun and excitement!" -Educated Liberal
