Tuesday, February 28, 2006
History Lesson #5
When I was thirteen, I developed a crush on this 16 year old guy that lived in Kona, which was about an hours drive from Na'alehu where I lived. I can't for the life of me remember how I was introduced to him but I some how ended up talking to him on the phone all the time. I think we spoke on the phone for a few minutes before we even met.
Anyway, he and I talked all the time on phone. I mean hours. Do you remember doing that for the first time? Those first real crushes you had where all you could think about was that other person and you just spent this insane amount of time talking to them? Yeah. He was one of those. Only in a completely unreciprocated kind of way.
Oh, I was mad for him for sure but he had a girl friend. Of course he would right? I mean, I was like thirteen. Thirteen seems like a million years ago now. I can look at these thirteen year olds and just think god, if you knew what I know...
So, in Fantasy Land, he would one day fall mad in love with me. Yup. Even then I spent too much time in Fantasy Land.
His name was Jeff. I thought about giving him some fake name, but I haven't spoken to him in over ten years and I wouldn't know how to even if I wanted to so I think we are safe. So, Jeff.
I wish I could summon up a picture of what he looked like the first time I met him in person. He probably looked a lot like all of those guys I see now that make me roll my eyes. Those cocky 16/17 year old boys with all the shit on their cars and the bass systems and rap music. He probably had the haircut and the highlights. So, he was basically every teeny-bopper's wetdream. You know the type.
He drove to come and see me at my place the first time we met. My mom knew he was coming and had said it was ok. What was she thinking? Nah, she meant well. Probably thought it was better to have him on her turf than me on his.
I don't know what his intentions were. I don't know what he thought was going to happen when he pulled into my driveway that night. Maybe he thought I was really some girl his own age with blonde hair and flawless skin. I don't know.
I do know that I was a thirteen year old girl who hadn't quite mastered the art of keeping my hair from spontaneously combusting into a giant afro-like frizz ball when I was anywhere even remotely humid.
Oh and I was wearing a Minnie Mouse shirt.
Well, I wasn't supposed to be hot. Shit, I had only been shaving my legs for like seven months. But he was such the crush to have. I know I was a mess of butterflies. When you are so nervous that you are just begging the karma gods to let you get through the next half hour without spitting when you talk or tripping or laughing at something that isn't funny.
What did we do? We talked. Something I was good at even then, back in the day. We sat outside, under the insane awesomeness that is the sky in Hawaii, and we talked for hours. Until it was some crazy hour and he needed to drive back home before he was too tired to.
Want to know how naive I am? I didn't even realize he wasn't into me like that. Man, I thought it was the most perfect of nights. The guy who gave me butterflies had just spent several hours at my house talking to me.
How much I had to learn.
Over the course of the next year, Jeff and I were still great friends. We talked all the time on the phone and he came by when he wasn't busy and hung out. He asked me advice on whichever girl he was dating and one night even got me and the current girl friend on threeway on the phone. Her name was Anne Marie and she and I became great friends. So much so that she and I started talking all of the time. I was still harboring this crazy idea that he and I would get together. In retrospect, I guess it was pretty normal for my age. Not to mention that I was now hanging out with people who were three and four years older than me. Nothing major in your twenties, but your early teens? Oh yeah, I was so the envy of my friends.
Anyway, you are probably wondering why the hell I have brought any of this up huh? Yeah, yeah, I am getting there.
So, after about a year of the three of us being friends (and Anne Marie and Jeff breaking up and getting back together and breaking up and getting back together and...) my mom finally oked my going to Kona to stay the weekend with Anne Marie (at her parent's house).
Oh my god, I was so jazzed. A whole weekend with Anne Marie and Jeff! And no supervision from my mom. Packed my trusty cigarettes into my backpack and waited for Jeff to come and get me. It was Friday and I was staying until Sunday, so that was almost 72 hours.
Jeff picked me up and hauled some serious ass back to Kona. Like serious ass. He scared the crap out of me. Mostly because the highway from Na'alehu to Kona is one lane in each direction. If you are going to Kona, then there is a huge rock wall on the right side of your car, literally just a few feet away. And on the way home, it is so much more fun with the cliff that drops off two feet after the white line. So basically, do the fucking speed limit.
When we finally got off that road and I exhaled the breath I had been holding for the previous 45 minutes, Jeff took me around to introduce me to his friends. That was about an hour of hanging out in the parking lot at some abandoned place. Remember doing that? Just sitting in some parking lot amidst all of the cars from the people who were lucky enough to have them, smoking cigarettes that you snagged from your parents or got someone to buy for you? For me, it was like Cinderella's fucking ball.
So, after awhile, Jeff and I take off for Anne Marie's place. It is gorgeous. Huge two story, wrap around porch, game room and the very first DVD I had ever seen. I don't remember what they were called, but they were the record sized DVDs...
Anne Marie and I did what girls do at sleep overs. We talked, we snuck out her window and smoked on the porch and then we talked and then we watched a movie and painted our nails and then we talked... you get the idea.
Sometime around one or two, we gave in and went to sleep.
Then the phone rang.
I remember waking up because the phone was ringing in the living room. I kept thinking why doesn't someone answer that? I mean, I knew it was the middle of the night but it's ringing so answer it. No one did. It rang until the machine picked up.
After the message rattled off and the thirty second beep sounded, the caller started talking:
Hi, this is Lani [my neighbor, like half mile away]. I am calling for Kate. Kate? Are you there? Please get up. Your house is on fire, Kate.
That was when Anne Marie's dad picked up the phone. It was that immediate crying you know? There is no shock, you just go right from normal to freaking the fuck out. I just buried my face in my pillow and cried and hoped that they were wrong. They had to be wrong. They were wrong. If I just ignore it, it will go away.
I heard her dad talking into the phone and then ending with "I'll tell her...."
I wanted to crawl under the bed. I wanted to hide in the closet. If he didn't tell me, it wasn't real. It didn't have to be real.
When he came in, he took Anne Marie into the hall. Maybe he thought I was asleep. Whatever the case, he did not want to be the one to tell me. He wanted her too. She knew I was awake, she knew I knew. She just came and laid down with me and let me cry. We never did go back to sleep that night. Jeff came over at around six the next morning.
I remember just laying there, in her bed while everyone tiptoed around me.
Everything was gone. The house was gone. Burned to the ground. The fire truck couldn't get there on time and it was wood you know. The whole thing was wood. It went up and was gone in a matter of minutes. Just gone.
My things... pictures, memories, toys from when I was a baby. Everything. Everything was just gone.
My mom didn't let me come home for a week and Anne Marie's parents let me stay. On the day mom finally let me come home, I remember packing up all of my stuff into my back pack and realizing that was all I had. Everything I had on the planet was in my back pack.
I stared out the window the whole time Jeff drove me home and he didn't say anything and I was so glad he didn't because I didn't want to talk.
When we pulled into my driveway, which was such a pretty driveway and got out to walk in the gate it was all gone. On top of the hill where our three story house had sat were some appliances and boards and nothing. Just gone.
It was strange, everything was blurry and bright and sharp. Too bright.
When I cried he held me. And when my mom and my uncle got there, he left.
I saw him once more before we left Hawaii to come back to Texas, but I had outgrown him. I had outgrown all of the fantasies of him wanting me. I had changed and suddenly those butterflies seemed so much less important.
He got married a year later and called me on his wedding day to tell me he missed me and he hoped I was doing good in Texas. That was the last time I ever talked to him.
Labels: History Lesson
A few things to keep you from working...
You can thank me later ;)
Redhead goes to the doctor:
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast and screams, then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more agony. She pushes her knee and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."
Ok, click here to see the video that some kids made in protest of the 55 speed limit on their highway.
Ok, and lastly (and my most favorite) is the un-pimp my ride commercials from VW.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Ok, I can't be that girl.
Forget girl, I can't be that person.
I can't be the kind of person who is seriously looking on ebay for these.
And not out of neccesity since it is almost Spring, but for FUN. Because I actually think it is CUTE. It all started with the one I got last night, which I will have to take a picture of when I get home so you can see what I am talking about.
***edited to add these two links so you will know what the hell I was talking about up there :)
In other news, I abandoned the Olympics for The Da Vinci Code this weekend. I was picking up some language cds at the library because my mother suddenly wants to learn Spanish. So, I can put the cds on her Ipod and voila! I ended up getting Spanish, Italian and French and I can now have a very rudimentary conversation in Italian.
(I had to look up all the spelling...)
Hello / Good morning/afternoon
Thank you (very much)
Scusi / Scusa
skoo-zee / skoo-zah
Excuse me (formal / informal)
Come sta? / Come stai?
koh-meh stah / koh-meh sty
How are you? (formal / informal)
Sì / No
see / noh
Yes / No
Signore, Signora, Signorina
seen-yoh-reh, seen-yoh-rah, seen-yoh-reen-ah
Mister, Misses, Miss
Capisce? / Capisci?
kah-pee-sheh / kah-pee-shee
Do you understand? (formal / informal)
I [don't] understand.
(this is probably the only thing I needed to learn.)
I learned how to say 'Do you speak English/Italian?' and 'American' so I can say 'I am American' if I ever go to Italy and they can spit on me... and I can now officially lie in Italian ('I understand a little Italian.')
That's pretty much it. But, the cd set is awesome. Thirty minute lessons and if you didn't get it all you start over. And the announcer dude is constantly quizzing you. He'll be teaching you something and then he will ask you how to say one of the phrases from the last lesson and you have to summon it up in your brain.
It's amazing how close to Spanish it is and while I don't speak Spanish, I do live in right next to San Antonio and I grew up around plenty of people who do speak Spanish, so I know enough to order a beer in a Mexican bar and how to say hello and how are you.
That was a HUGE off topic there, I was talking about The Da Vinci Code, which kicked an insane amount of ass. I listened to the whole thing in like 24 hours and was handcuffed to my cd player until it was over. It was fabulous and if you haven't read it, go get it now!
Saturday, February 25, 2006
I've been kidnapped by the Olympics
(disclaimer: I do not watch sports. I am a chic. So, any misuse of sport phrases or misspellings of names or even calling a sport by a completely and totally wrong name should be expected.)
Well, I would love to say that the reason I haven't written was because I was lucky enough to be able to take my trip. But that isn't the case.
Instead, I hit Wal-Mart on my way back to town and then picked the girls up and came home where we proceeded to eat a ton of food an lay about watching the Olympics.
Now, I hadn't watched any of the Olympics until three nights ago. My mom was here and she wanted to watch them and since I had just finished the E True Hollywood story of Simon Cowell (read: hit rock bottom) I didn't have a leg to stand on. At first, I was just going to change over to the Olympics and then hand her the remote and go find something else to do... but when I changed the channel and started to get up, I was staring right into the eyes of Apolo Anton Ohno.
Slowly, I put my butt back on the couch and decided to watch, you know, for just a few minutes.
Let's see what this cute boy does...
Then it morphed into a soap opera.
Enter Chad Hedrick, another certified hotty,
this one from my home state and Shani Davis.
By now, I am sitting crosslegged with zero intention of moving. Turns out Chad and Shani don't like each other very much because Shani dropped out of some team event causing the US to either lose or forfeit, I can't remember which. Mostly because I kept thinking 'holy shit, look at their legs'.
They have huge fucking legs.
So, then it gets better.
I can hear you saying 'how could it?
Oh, but it does.
Turns out that cutie boy Apolo Ohno won the gold over Korea (at least I think it was Korea) at the last Olympics and that Korea is all pissed off at him. Like, the whole country hates him because he beat their countryman. When he went there to compete, he had to take bodyguards. And it wasn't even his fault that the other dude was disqualified or penalized or whatever... And Ohno keeps giving interviews saying that he is basically scared to hell that the two Koreans in the race will gang up on him and knock him down or something since they could do it with out it being obviously done on purpose and thereby breaking the rules. On one of his interviews he says that if he were could change one thing about his sport it would be to enforce the rule against team skating.
So, of course, by the time the race starts, I am on the edge of my seat to see if the Koreans are going to push him down and kick his ass. And the Koreans come out and they look pissed off and mean, like ninjas sans facemasks.
Around and around the rink they go. There is some kind of etiquette here, rules for passing and such but I have no idea what it was. I just kept waiting for someone to eat it.
But no one did. Which kind of sucked since I was already to have Apolo's back, you know? Anyway, Apolo didn't get gold, he got silver and a tiny little part of me was bummed. I so wanted him to kick their asses. Afterwards he said that they skated a fair game.
Then Shani Davis goes on to win the gold in something. And he was like the first African American to win a gold medal in a speed skating competition and that so made me cry. Even though he made Chad Hedrick, whom I think I am in love with, lose out on the medal for the team skate.
It was such a rush.
So, the next night I came in to watch the Olympics with my mom and got to see the ski jumping. Which should be filed under "suicidal" on the Olympic sign up sheets.
Three words to describe this sport: Holy Fucking Shit.
Basically some dude (or chic? I didn't see any chics.) goes down this ramp thingy and then flies through the air for like 75 seconds, encompassing like fifteen stories before hitting the ground. Fuck that, right?
The announcers are all talking about form and the correct way to jump and what the jumper is doing to further their fall. I am pretty fucking sure that the only thing going through their minds is "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggggggg!!!"
And their landing process is "try not to break anything, try not to break anything" and the rest is just luck.
So, I set up my TIVO to record the Olympics on Thursday night and Friday night (and to record Convictions when it starts next Friday). I went and snuggled up on the couch last night and flipped on Thursday nights recorded Olympics where I saw Shani cheering for Chad at the 10,000 meter race (where he got Silver) and I was all like "awwwwwwwww, they're friends again!" and then watched the Figure Skating finals. I couldn't believe how many times they fell down!
They did a little biography on Irina Slutskaya and talked about how her mom was dying and how she had some disease and they told her she couldn't skate anymore or she would die but she just couldn't stay away which made me cry and then she won Silver after falling down twice.
After the figure skating, I was all tapped out and I went to bed. I had no idea how cool the Olympics were. They are all emotional and there are a bunch of unknown to me hotties.
So, that is what I have been up to the last few days. I have had several emails from ya'll speculating whether I had decided to go ahead and go the beach or if I had found some dude to play with or just flat out asking me where the hell I've been.
I have been sitting in front of my tv for hours at a time watching the Olympics.
Friday, February 24, 2006
I'm mourning the loss of...
my vacation. Mostly due to the fucking weather.
Now, what the hell am I gonna do this weekend??
There will be more... later.
Let me get caught up.
I see ya'll poking your heads in and checking on me.
In the meantime, hop over to Jiffinnner's blog and play the quote game from last week. Since she *cough cough* hardly ever posts anything *cough cough*, it's still the top post :P
No one got mine :(
And then post yours BUT DON'T put the movie, just the quote.
Or you can still Acro.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Acrophobic Humpday: The Favorite Things Edition
You know, like the song?
You know... the song?
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Whatever. It's not like I actually sang it.
So what if I did? It's not like you could hear me.
The theme this week, my acro-loving peeps, is Favorite Things.
Ohhh! Maybe I can make the points into the song for next week! That would be fucking cool...
I am actually going to do points on time this week.
Shocking. Ok, so maybe just maybe I am actually busy... you know... like with a social life...
What are you snickering at?
Anyway, last week's Free For All was... interesting.
MooCow made his first acro so let's give him a little golf clap and ten points for:
Just Kiss A Toe Baby!
KaraMia earned herself a nice fifty points for cracking my shit up with these:
My sons daycare providers are:
Godawful Lazy Ass Dragqueens
Highly incompitent, Grasping Ho's, labeled YUCKY.
Chicken earned fifteen points with:
My Pal Pete Eats With Tongs
Fingers Really Always Give Good Love Eternally
which I am not commenting on...
especially since there were these:
Hunk Or Chocolate? Kate's Eagerly Yearning... (TuxBaby - 20)
Perfectly Amazing Randy Tongue Sex (Jim C - 20)
If you're in the mood... Kiss, Lick, Orgasm, Play. (The Girl - 20)
crazysilver gets ten for:
My Cat Barks At People
and another ten for Yoda:
Peanut Butter And Jam Sucks!
The Cake Lady, in her sick and drugged state gets ten for:
My Interests Lack Knowledge
And lastly, Lola sounds a little defensive here with:
Canada Almost Never Decifers Information Demonically
Don't know what Acrophobia is? Well, click that button and find out.
Then you can play with us.
You know you want to. Everyone's doing it.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
where am I?
The last few weeks, I have felt like I was in a washing machine and on spin cycle. Everything is just whooshing by and it's blurry and I can't make out all of the pictures or the people or events.
I feel like I am watching my life on fast forward.
I am forgetting to call people back and emails are going unanswered. I forgot Emilee had tryouts for baseball on Saturday and then had to run her down there thirty minutes after they ended and apologize, profusely, for not showing at the right time.
And I am always on time.
When did I lose that part of my brain that kept track of everything? That made sure I never missed an appointment or forgot to pay a bill?
I feel like I am doing nothing but don't have time for anything else.
And I have a theory.
Stay with me on this...
I think that little aliens are popping in and stealing me for a few hours a day when no one is looking. I haven't exactly figured out why. Except maybe they are slowly sucking out all my scheduling and organizing brain pieces. It would make sense, you see, since I am so insanely anal.
They would need those parts of my brain to organize their little purple planet and schedule their holidays. They would, of course, name a holiday after me since they stole my sanity to create their happy and organized world.
Maybe they would name the planet after me.
And if they were sucking them out (the brain pieces), it would explain why I suddenly can't seem to get on top of everything in my life. It is all slowly becoming harder for me. Not remembering birthdays, suddenly forgetting where I put the groceries, not... oh god, this one is hard for me to even say... *deep breath* not... making... lists!
This would also explain why I can't seem to get all of my work done and I feel like I don't have enough time. I mean, if they are beaming me out of my office for a few hours a day then obviously I wouldn't have enough time for all of my work once I was fully revived and back at my desk. And if they beamed me out over the weekend then that would explain why I didn't finish all of my laundry.
On the one hand, I am doing my Universal Duty by helping out the little aliens. (They deserve to have a smoothly running planet as much as the next species and they did come and find me..) But, on the other hand, if your kind insists on sucking out all of the usefulness in my brain, at least hook me up with a palm pilot or something so I don't go completely bonkers.
Monday, February 20, 2006
fun with weather
Ok, I need all of you to do me a favor.
Come on... how often do I ask for favors?
You'll do it?
Oh, awesome. You so rock!
Yeah, that weekend part?
That has to change.
You see, I have plans to be at the beach during those two days and I am sorry but that whole high of 67 and 64 crap is not going to fly. I need a high of at least 74.
In other news, we had a "Cold Snap" here this past week.
An "unexpected cold snap in South Texas persisted this morning, as ice and freezing rain forced numerous road closures and more than 700 accidents as motorists continued to battle the dangerous conditions. Temperatures plunged to 29 degrees this morning and weren't expected to rise above 40 degrees by day's end, according to the National Weather Service. A freezing rain advisory, also issued by the National Weather Service, will remain in effect until at least noon today. Slippery road conditions are predicted throughout the day."
I can see those of you who live in places where the weather does crazy shit, like snowing, rolling your eyes. If it were to rain when the temperature is in the thirties, you guys are just jazzed you don't have to scrape snow and ice off your windshield, but here... "Further north, all five I-35 exits to New Braunfels Avenue were closed and traffic was re-routed onto access roads earlier today. Both the upper level of Interstate 10 between Fredericksburg Road and Culebra Avenue, and the connector ramps in both directions from Loop 1604 to Interstate 10 were reopened after they spent most of the morning closed..."
Yeah, we close all the highways.
Which was fine with me since I don't usually go outside when the temperature drops below forty. However, I had chosen this particular week to get a puppy.
A puppy who's bladder is roughly the size of nickel and therefore needs to pee approximately every ten to twenty minutes. And who is also only about five pounds and not exactly sporting a winter coat.
Now, I was the kind of person who points and laughs at people who put clothes on their dog. I make awful jokes about that not really being a dog and snicker as it runs by wearing it's little knitted sweater.
I am no longer that kind of person.
I am now the kind of person who roots around in the stuffed animal box looking for the Stitch doll we got for Christmas a few years ago that was wearing the santa suit because I am almost sure that it could fit our dog.
(Just FYI...You do not want to google Stitch and Santa trying to find a picture because you end up with a lot of cross stitch Christmas paterns...)
And it did.
(click for large)
Much to her disgrace, I am sure.
Plus, I don't think it was very warm since it wasn't really designed to make sure that Stitch was kept warm when packed and shipped here from China.
The preformance that Chica and I kept repeating went something like this:
1. Put Santa suit on Chica and have her make that face at me. You know, the one where she is silently pleading with you not to take her outside in that in case there are any other life forms out there that could see and then taunt her.
2. Put leash on her.
3. Loop leash over chair while I put on fifteen layers of clothing.
4. Open door and say "Come on, Chica, let's go outside!" ...wait... "Come on Chica, let's go outside and go potty!" ...wait...
5. Become fairly convinced that puppy is giving me a look that translates into "Hey Lady? Fuck you." so I pick her up and take her outside.
6. Set puppy down in the grass where she immediately starts shaking and jumping up and down directly in front of me either a) begging me in doggy language to pick her back up because it is fucking cold or b) trying to warm herself by jumping up and down.
7. Say "Go potty, Chica. Go potty! Come on Chica, just go potty and we can go back inside!" for at least seven minutes.
8. Finally convinced I will not pick her up she starts smelling around on the ground, making me walk around the house three times.
Well, I walked. I think she just glided across the ground with all the shaking. You know, like a air hockey game. Just imagine my yard as the table and the dog as the puck.
9. She finally squats down to pee and I congratulate her the entire time.
10. We both run back into the house and de-layer.
11. Wait twenty minutes and go back to 1.
This is particularly fun when it is four o'clock in the morning and I can't find my shoes.
Friday, February 17, 2006
OH YEAH BABY!
Ok, so I have been crossing my fingers... and toes and eyes and EVERYthing I could cross, hoping that The Trews would be playing when I could see them.
You see, Jiffinner is going out of town the same week as SXSW to go see some play in BFE and Boss is using his vacation time right around then for Spring Break meaning I will have to be here quite a bit to cover.
My fear was that they would play that Saturday when I was scheduled to be chained to my desk for ten straight hours answering phones and sending out internet price quotes.
And then... today.... I head over to the SXSW site to see that they have (finally) done the schedule for the bands and lo and behold:
The Trews are playing some bar called Momo's on Wednesday, the 15th!
Oh. Fuck. Yeah.
This means I can take Wednesday off and go to Austin and then come back that night or early the next morning and work. If I knew anyone in Austin, I would just plan on crashing there and driving back early the next morning for work... Of course, with it being in the middle of the week, I doubt I will be able to get anyone to go with me, but I don't care.
I will so go alone.
I am dying to see this band.
Lola? Feel like flying in and hitting Austin with me?
Ok, so remember last Friday when we kinda sorta played The Movie Quote Game here on my blog??
Well, Jiffinner is playing The Movie Quote Game on her blog and since I know ya'll aren't working, get. your. asses. over there and PLAY :)
Link is here.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
The new member of our family...
Right now, as I type this, our new baby girl is fussing in her bed.
Which is driving the girls crazy.
And reminding me of what having an infant was like.
Anyway, since I am beyond sleepy and will surely be up with a whiny baby tonight, I will just introduce her without further ado.
Dear Readers, meet Chica.
So, I am reading MooCow's blog, like I do just about every morning and he links to a site I had never heard of.
Apparently there is a section called Missed Connections where you can leave a random note for the person you saw at Wal-Mart and thought was hot but didn't
have a chance have the balls to go talk to.
So, I of course have to go the San Antonio version and read all of the little liners of people who saw people and are hoping that maybe they saw them back. And I can't help it, I get chill bumps :)
What a beyond sweet idea.
Can you imagine going onto this site and seeing a liner that could have been you? And then clicking it to see that the person you saw at the doctor's office last week is looking for you?
That so surpasses the myspace set up where random dudes ask to be your friends so that they can have your picture added to the 456,218 other chics on their 'friend' list and look like quite the playa. (Yes, I did just type that.... I know, I am surprised too.)
And speaking of myspace, a bunch of you have emailed me and asked about myspace. A few of you have even mentioned that you've considered selling out as well.
Well, to you I say, you aren't missing a thang. Myspace so sucks balls people. The only reason I would even say you should join is if you are online anonymously everywhere else and want a place where people you used to know can look you up. And once you are set up, get ready for the weirdos to start adding you as a contact.
And the blogs? Pah. Nothing compared to my lovely peeps on blogger. (Yes, I just said 'peeps'. I don't know what's wrong with me today.)
Since I have been working while writing this post, I can't seem to remember where I was going with it... I'm sure it was some where.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Acrophobic Humpday: The Thank God It's Over Edition
I am breathing a deep sigh of relief as the weight from Valentine's Day is slowly being lifted from my shoulders. All the obligatory well wishes have been made and accepted, all the teeny tiny Valentine's Day cards have been labeled and given to the little kids at school, all of the candy has been passed out and mostly consumed. As a matter of fact my daughters are at this very moment completely wired on various heart shaped sugar products and stalling their bedtime by asking me completely random questions:
"Mommy are we going to be able to swim at the beach?"
"Mommy, the only way I can swim is on my back."
"What's the lowest grade you will accept me getting on my TAKS test?"
"Mommy, can I have more juice?"
"Can you turn the kitchen light off?"
"Can I have a book?"
"Can I go potty?"
"Can I get some water?"
Can I do forty laps around the house and burn off some of this sugar??
We watched Zathura and it rocked, in case you were wondering. And we ate three bags of popcorn for dinner.
I will turn off WV in the morning. Right after I get an email from crazysilver telling me to ;)
So, this week is a Free For All.
You pick the theme.
And this should make for some rather interesting Acros since you can create the half sentence you put in front of them!
Points will be next week because I am just flat out ready for bed.
Don't know what Acrophobia is? Well, click that button and find out.
Then you can play with us.
You know you want to. Everyone's doing it.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
I can only remember getting flowers for Valentine's Day once.
I remember when I answered the door and the flower guy handed me this lovely arrangement of roses, I almost started crying.
I thought that they were from NY.
They weren't. They were from his mom. I called her to thank her for them and she went on to say how happy she was that I had given her son another chance. And how happy we would be when "the baby" was born and how she just knew that my being pregnant was a sign that he and I were meant to be together.
For a moment or two, I indulged that idea.
Could my being pregnant mean that he and I were going to be ok. He wanted to marry me. Should I just marry him and make everything work?
I knew that was an option.
You can always stay.
You can always stay and just ignore the unhappiness and the mean words. You can always sit back and pretend you are happy and that this is normal. You can smile when people ask how the two of you are and say great. And then you can lay in bed at night and convince yourself that the next day will be better.
You can, but I didn't.
And now, I am spending another Valentine's Day alone. And the last time I got flowers was in 2002.
But, I am happy. How is that?
Instead of a romantic evening, I will go and buy Zathura on DVD today when I get off work and the girls and I will eat an insane amount of popcorn and all the candy that they will bring home from school while we lay on the floor and watch a movie together.
And if I am lucky, they will want to play Boggle afterwards.
Does that mean that I don't have that little secret compartment in my heart that hopes next year I might be lucky enough to be in love? Nope. But I don't want that kind of love where I have to lay in bed and hope that the next day is better.
Monday, February 13, 2006
1. I helped Fairy assemble her 30,000 piece entertainment center.
*The people in China have invented a new little wrench thingy. It's essentially the same except it is shaped like a retarded question mark instead of the little 'L' looking thing from before.
*When putting together a black entertainment center with black screws, do not wait until it is dark outside unless the entire area will be lit up with 100watt light bulbs. At one point, ten minutes was spent looking for a screw that jumped onto the floor.
*You can actually use all the pieces. This is the first time ever that I have assembled one of these things and not had several screws/nails/bolt thingys left over.
*Those big flat circle screw things that pop into the holes? I had no fucking idea that you were supposed to turn those after you inserted the screw. Which would explain why all of the things I've assembled fell apart when I tried to move them.
2. I got my ass kicked at pool by both my mother and Teacher Boy. What's sad is that he said he hadn't played in three years and my mom was trying to let me win so I wouldn't look bad.
The only games I won were by default.
3. I took Emilee to baseball tryouts only to learn that since she wants to be on her best friends team that we came at the wrong time and for the wrong tryouts. They were trying to get her to tryout for softball, but she wants to play with Austin and he is going to play t-ball this year. Emilee is at the last year allowed for t-ball. She was very bummed. Fortunately we can go next Saturday at nine so all was not lost.
No. I didn't say anything...
Ok. Fine. Let's get this out of the way.
Yes, I am a sheep.
But, in my defense, I did score these bitching seat covers from my brother for selling out. And I am not blogging on there.
In fact, I am not even linking that with this. I joined myspace with my real name and a different email address. So, they aren't connected.
Also, I have no idea how to use it. I filled in the profile info and interests (it was all very yahoo personals) and then I was tapped. My sister had to show me how to accept her as a friend. It's like highschool "So how many friend do you have on myspace? Only 472,453? Oh, that's ok. Just keep posting and one day you will have 1,587,269 like me!"
I don't know how to google anyone on there... or even the proper way to say "google anyone on there." See? How much of a sell out can you be if you don't even know the lingo?
5. I had a little brush with fame this weekend. I commented on this really wonderful photo that one of my contacts had taken on flickr. Under the photo, there was a link to the guy's (in the picture) website. So, I left a comment saying that the picture was awesome and I was going to go check out the website.I opened the site and saw that the guy from the photo was a musician. I hadn't heard of him and I was on dialup so not really in to the whole poking around thing. About thirty minutes later, I see that the guy who was in the photo had added me as a contact. Then he emailed me. I wrote him back saying thanks for adding me and that I would explore his site some more on Monday when I had a T1 line at my disposal.After I sent the email, I went and read his bio on his website. And do you know what it said? "...former member of Buckcherry and The Wallflowers..."
6. I made my plans to go to the coast on the 24th. I am in desperate need of some beach time. I got a beyond awesome deal on the room and I am loading everything up and taking off on the 24th and coming home on the 26th. I'll post the other, more specific details, when I get back. I haven't been since this trip. The Cake Lady was supposed to go with me but they are going to wait. So it will just be me and the girls and my mom. But there is a heated pool! And in the realm of trips to take, I am HOPING I can go to Austin next month during SXSW. I REALLY want to see The Trews and they are supposed to be playing.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Best line in a movie, ever.
Ok, 100 points if you know the movie:
"You look good wearing my future."
And, no googling.
What's your favorite line from a movie?
So, Fairy and I had to do some stuff in Kerrville the other day.
No, you don't need to actually click the "Kerrville" link since:
A. you've never heard of it and
B. you aren't missing a thang.
Anyway, she met me at work and we hopped into my new ride and onto I-10. The drive is really quite pretty, I wish I had thought to take a couple more shots of it. Of course, the drive is only pretty during the daylight.
At night, it's like a blasting zone with all the deer. ("This is a bad blasting zone! Remember the last one? When we lost Billy?" Ok, if you don't know who Brian Regan is then you need to go download him. Now. Come back and finish reading this later.) I am pretty sure the people that drive from Kerrville to San Antonio via I-10 in the morning can wager bets as to whether it was a slow night [read: only three deer carcasses on the side of the road] or a busy night [read: fifteen deer, four racoons, two dogs and a car with a fucked front end in the grass].
So, let me wander back onto the path here, I am getting sidetracked.
Fairy and I are cruising along getting caught up and listening to Jack Johnson, James Blunt and The Trews (again, if you haven't heard of them: leave. download. comeback) when we come up on a couple of semi trucks that need passin'.
The Batchelor: You know what's fun to do when you pass truck drivers?
Me (rolling my eyes): TB, I am not flashing the damn truck drivers.
The Batchelor (chuckling): That would be fun too. But, I was gonna say you should stick your arm out the window and do the up and down thing so they will blow their horn.
Me: Uh... yeah. I only do that when the girls are with me...
So, I am passing this truck and I see something written on the side of it:
Um, sorry, did you say you couldn't quite read that?
Let me enlarge it for you:
Ok, now I know it has been... awhile since I was getting laid on anything even slightly resembling a regular basis, so my brain could be in the gutter... but, I read that right, didn't I?
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Acrophobic Humpday: The Friendship Edition
****added: OMFG, am I the only one being innundated with spammer comments from these housecleaning people? I turned WV back on for like twenty minutes and BAM! twenty comments! That's un-fucking-real. Anyway, I'm sorry guys, but you will have to play with the WV on today. I'll give out extra points or something for being tolerable. If you want, just use the letters WV gave you as the next set for the game. I am really sorry about this, but I have almost a hundred spammer comments to delete.
ps. Does anyone know how the hell they leave spammer comments without actually showing up as a hit on your statcounter?
Are you looking at this post wondering if you have entered some realm of The Twighlight zone were blog posts make no sense? If so, scroll to the bottom and all will be revealed.
For those of you who have done this once or twice:
Scoring today is the lottery version. I am picking five from each of the last two weeks and then I will award a "power ball". Points will be twenty for each of the lotto picks and then twenty five for each of the power balls.
Scoreboard is here.
Got your tickets ready? Let's go.
I'm too busy...
...(for) Whiny insulent ninny craphead Executives. (The Girl)
...(for) Silly Underaged college kids sarcasm (KaraMia)
...(to) Yell "Everyone Acro Right Now!" (TuxBaby)
...(to) Find Extra Time Inside Short Holidays (madigan)
...Kissing In Deep, Needy Excitable Yearnings... (Jim C) [I'm not either!)
...Wondering If Captain Kangaroo Ever Decomposed? (Grend31)
Ok, the next set was fucking awesome. Some of the best acros ever... with the exception of a few misplaces elf acros... but I digress ;)
I'm so tired of...
...Only Really Getting Aroused Seeing Men (devilgyrl) [This is something that I am somehow just not tired of... much to Madi's disappointment I think.]
...Hearing asses unleash nightly toots! (kari) [kari? I think I love you. This made me lmao.]
...Seeing Everyone Acro Slowly, Omitting Necessary Speed (TuxBaby) [you knew this was a point scoring acro didn't cha?]
...Selfish Unfeeling Macho Men Ending Relationships (The Girl)
...Talking In Rhymes Every Day (Yoda) [I didn't realize this was an issue for you!]
[and the powerball goes to Karamia for this lovely duo]
...men over using sex enuendos.
...quiet upchuck inside closed kisses [uh -- eeew]
And with that, another round of scoring has commenced.
Now, on to the theme.
This week's theme, should you choose to participate in the theme, will be:
"You are my friend because you..."
Last thing I wanted to mention is that the word verification is going to be on until tomorrow morning. I'm sure crazysilver will send me an email at 7:00am my time to remind me to "turn the fucking WV off!" The reason I am not turning it off right now is because there are evil spammer bots about that hit me with almost fifty! yes, fiifty! spammer comments. I can't even say fifty! without the exclamation point because fifty! is ever so fucking slightly excessive.
Don't know what Acrophobia is? Well, click that button and find out.
Then you can play with us.
You know you want to. Everyone's doing it.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Monday, February 06, 2006
Amanda the Audioblogger
My daughters both have blogs.
I don't think that I have ever posted that here because I wasn't sure if I wanted their blogs to be associated with mine. Also because I wasn't sure if they would actually blog.
It was hard to get them to put anything up there. Even just a few lines about their day, at least until Veronique started to comment on their posts. Then, suddenly, they were interested in posting. She knew this and so she would comment on their blogs whenever she had the chance.
When she died, both of my daughters abandoned their blogs. At first, I didn't say anything about it because I was split in two between wanting to do the same thing and wanting to pour my heart into mine.
A few months later, I asked them if they wanted to blog and Amanda told me flat out that she didn't want to anymore because no one would comment.
I knew by "no one" she meant Veronique and I again left it alone.
And then, on Friday, Amanda was telling me a story about the 100th day of school (which was on Friday) and when she finished, she was out of breath (because she has inherited my ability to talk exactly 1.8 miles per minute) and walking away when she suddenly turned around and said "Mommy, I want to write in my blog."
I put my hand under my jaw to keep it from smacking the ground and got up to log her on. She sat down for a few minutes and started typing and then got distracted. I was in the kitchen washing the dishes when she came in with Trin and said that Trin was keeping her from blogging.
-insert the little light bulb above my head here-
So, I set her account up with audioblogging capabilities and she did her first audioblog. I am hoping between her being able to audioblog and the new counter I stuck on there, maybe she will be a little more enthusiastic about blogging.
Amanda is like me in so many ways and one of them is writing. She is the only one of my girls (yet) to take an interest in writing and I am trying to help her to use that without pushing. She loves to tell stories but she lacks the patience to write them down. Hopefully audioblogging will give her an outlet until she is ready to invest the time to write.
Friday, February 03, 2006
You wanna be my what?
Last night I was sitting on the computer while Amanda was filling in her Valentines. She got her list from school and had asked, if she got all of stuff done that she needed to do before bedtime, if she could go ahead and make the cards out.
Since I rock, I had already bought five various boxes of Valentines and said that would be fine. So, she and Emilee were sitting at the kitchen table together. Emilee was (carefully) ripping the cards apart and Amanda was filling them in. I kept hearing them read off the messages on the animal cards Amanda had chosen to use for her class.
Things like "I would be so dog gone happy if you were mine, valentine!"
"You're the cat's meow!"
"You moooooove me, Valentine!"
I got up and went into the kitchen and got a glass of water. I was standing there drinking it when I hear Amanda read off the next card:
"I want to be your spunk monkey, Valentine!"
That would be when I choked on the water and some of it came out of my nose. The girls, once they were done laughing, wanting to know what the hell I thought was so funny. I went over and picked up the monkey valentine card that she had, which actually read:
But, my favorite was this one:
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Acrophobic Humpday: The I'm Too Busy Edition
What is today?
Oh... so you guys probably want to play huh?
Sorry! I totally forgot! I was supposed to be at a conference in Austin today and when that got canceled I just spaced everything else out :) Thank crazysilver for sending me an email asking me where the fuck the game was.
A-n-y way, theme this week? Finish this sentence "I am too busy..."
I'll update the points (seen here) before the day is over!
Don't know what Acrophobia is? Well, click that button and find out.
Then you can play with us.
You know you want to.