I can only remember getting flowers for Valentine's Day once.
I remember when I answered the door and the flower guy handed me this lovely arrangement of roses, I almost started crying.
I thought that they were from NY.
They weren't. They were from his mom. I called her to thank her for them and she went on to say how happy she was that I had given her son another chance. And how happy we would be when "the baby" was born and how she just knew that my being pregnant was a sign that he and I were meant to be together.
For a moment or two, I indulged that idea.
Could my being pregnant mean that he and I were going to be ok. He wanted to marry me. Should I just marry him and make everything work?
I knew that was an option.
You can always stay.
You can always stay and just ignore the unhappiness and the mean words. You can always sit back and pretend you are happy and that this is normal. You can smile when people ask how the two of you are and say great. And then you can lay in bed at night and convince yourself that the next day will be better.
You can, but I didn't.
And now, I am spending another Valentine's Day alone. And the last time I got flowers was in 2002.
But, I am happy. How is that?
Instead of a romantic evening, I will go and buy Zathura on DVD today when I get off work and the girls and I will eat an insane amount of popcorn and all the candy that they will bring home from school while we lay on the floor and watch a movie together.
And if I am lucky, they will want to play Boggle afterwards.
Does that mean that I don't have that little secret compartment in my heart that hopes next year I might be lucky enough to be in love? Nope. But I don't want that kind of love where I have to lay in bed and hope that the next day is better.
Who: katehopeeden
Where: San Antonio, Texas Yeah, so I am all that you see here. I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty... sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends. I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am. Want to know more?
Click here!
12/14/84 - 1/26/05
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"The most wasted day is one in which we have not laughed"
"Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you might miss it."
"Guys are like stars, there's a million of them out there but only one of them can make your dreams come true."
"Reach for the moon, even if you miss you will still land among the stars"
Veronique
Yoda
Hot Toddy
Finding Liz
The Adorable DB
Tux Baby
Malcolm (he'll be back)
They'll All Fall
we grabbed the lion
Red Hot Sexy Papa
Snow
dooce
Madi (my stalker)
Did I miss you?
Do you feel left out and sad?
Click that link up there
and email me your blog!
Yoda
Hot Toddy
Finding Liz
The Adorable DB
Tux Baby
Malcolm (he'll be back)
They'll All Fall
we grabbed the lion
Red Hot Sexy Papa
Snow
dooce
Madi (my stalker)
Did I miss you?
Do you feel left out and sad?
Click that link up there
and email me your blog!
Weekend Recap
Best line in a movie, ever.
cruising I-10
Acrophobic Humpday: The Friendship Edition
a timeline
Amanda the Audioblogger
You wanna be my what?
Acrophobic Humpday: The I'm Too Busy Edition
a puppy
Tagged by Jiffinner
Best line in a movie, ever.
cruising I-10
Acrophobic Humpday: The Friendship Edition
a timeline
Amanda the Audioblogger
You wanna be my what?
Acrophobic Humpday: The I'm Too Busy Edition
a puppy
Tagged by Jiffinner
Childhood Memories
My Mother
The Story of AZ
The Time In Between
The Beginning Of NY
The man from my dreams
The End Of NY
Growing and Changing
Learning to Cope
These are a work in progress. They are in the right order, but more will fill in the blank spaces in time as I write them.
"I just got done reading the history lessons on your blog (yes, I've been lurking on your blog). All the respect I had for you...has increased, like, tenfold. I don't think I could have done it. To go through what you have and not only still be able to discuss it with such wit and poise, but also to raise those three gorgeous girls. You are truly an inspiration. You are honestly one of the strongest people I have ever known, either online or IRL. Thank you so much." -Stef
My Mother
The Story of AZ
The Time In Between
The Beginning Of NY
The man from my dreams
The End Of NY
Growing and Changing
Learning to Cope
These are a work in progress. They are in the right order, but more will fill in the blank spaces in time as I write them.
"I just got done reading the history lessons on your blog (yes, I've been lurking on your blog). All the respect I had for you...has increased, like, tenfold. I don't think I could have done it. To go through what you have and not only still be able to discuss it with such wit and poise, but also to raise those three gorgeous girls. You are truly an inspiration. You are honestly one of the strongest people I have ever known, either online or IRL. Thank you so much." -Stef
www.flickr.com
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The one and only Matchbox Twenty
Teddy Geiger
Rob Thomas
James Blunt
The Trews
Jack Johnson
Mark Broussard
Gavin DeGraw
Bowling For Soup
Switchfoot
Tabitha's Secret
Our Lady Peace
Citizen Cope
Teddy Geiger
Rob Thomas
James Blunt
The Trews
Jack Johnson
Mark Broussard
Gavin DeGraw
Bowling For Soup
Switchfoot
Tabitha's Secret
Our Lady Peace
Citizen Cope
That cracked my shit up! TM
Kate went to Dallas?
You asked Kate questions?
Kate was stung by a Scorpion?
Kate met Mr. I?
Kate got pissed?
There was a mouse?
Kate shared?
Kate confessed?
Kate turned 25?
Kate shared some more?
"There are some of us out here who are living vicariously through you, okay?! So for god's sake, let us have some fun and excitement!" -Educated Liberal
Kate went to Dallas?
You asked Kate questions?
Kate was stung by a Scorpion?
Kate met Mr. I?
Kate got pissed?
There was a mouse?
Kate shared?
Kate confessed?
Kate turned 25?
Kate shared some more?
"There are some of us out here who are living vicariously through you, okay?! So for god's sake, let us have some fun and excitement!" -Educated Liberal
