Monday, February 14, 2005
I am angry...
Maybe it was just a bad day for me to run across this post... Maybe I am just sick and tired of hearing single parents bashed. Or maybe I can't believe that one of our own (so to speak) is knocking us. But when I read this today, it pissed me off. Upon reading a post to one of the single parent boards I frequent about a single 29 year old woman considering adopting a child (she is unable to have her own), I was thinking about what to write and reading the other responses when I read this:
"OK....I'm going give you the well-balanced single Dad's perspective...remember, you asked for advice.
How incredibly selfish you are.
I would not wish a single parent family on my worst enemy's child, let alone my own. It is the next worst thing (the worst is two parents that don't care) for a child. As good of a mother that you think you might be for that child, you would not be as good as the two parent family that that baby deserves. There isn't day goes by that I don't wonder how this situation will hurt my children in some way.
Single parenting is (at best) a nightmare. Constantly balancing the needs of your child against your job, your home. (Notice I didn't mention you in that phrase.) Your life doesn't just change...your life (as you know it) is over...forever. The mere fact that you want to purposefully subject a child to a single parent life tells me that you are not mature enough to handle it and don't have a clue.
My advice to you....grow up...get married to a nice man, get your life together established...THEN consider taking on the responsibility of a child.
CL's... you are free to remove this post, admonish or banish me, as you see fit.
Board members...you are free to trash me....but my position stands.
An extremely irritated... -insert name here-"

Well set me on fire. Who in the hell does this guy think he is? He blatantly insults an entire board of great parents? The very parents he comes to for advice?? In my (as he points out in his next post) not expert opinion, he is bitter and upset with the hand he was dealt and that is fine. Resent your ex, resent your situation, but don't insult all the single parents in the world because you are unhappy!
This is one of the things that I will toot my own horn for. I am a damn good mom. The type of mother I am is exactly the type that I want to be. I don't resent my exes or my children or my situation because I am happy and happy to do the things I do every day. Being a mother defines me in so many ways. I love my kids, I love my life... even the not so great parts. I loathe people that accuse single parents of ruining their kids' lives because they are deprived of a two-parent household. Excuse me???
I understand that every situation is different and that yes there are parents that aren't good parents (be them single or married) but to generalize groups of parents based on your opinion is just rude.
Sorry guys, needed to vent!
~Kate

meandmrt asked me to post this, she doesn't have a blogger id :)

meandmrt says: OMG!!!!!! I could just spit I'm so livid right now....WHO IS THIS GUY?!?!? I think about the poor children that would give anything to be in a HOME, with someone who WANTS to love them and WANTS to care for them, vs. the Foster parents who only want the check...or the orphanage that has 1 "Dictator" for every 25 kids.... I am a much better parent W/O [ex] around then I was with him there.... for the simple reason that I don't take out my anger with [ex] out on [son]... have 1 less person to clean up after, which allows me more time with my child..... I just don't know what to say...I'm speechless for once in my life.....
so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 10:44 AM
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