Thursday, June 28, 2007
The Holiday
I just finished watching this movie and I loved it. Maybe I loved it because I can relate to being that girl, or maybe... no, that's why. It's because I can relate to being that girl.
What girl?
The monologue at the beginning explains it all:
"I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms."

This movie is excellent, more so if you've ever been that girl (or that boy, there's no gender discrimination here on LOC :P).

My favorite part of the whole movie is when Kate Winslet (who gave the introductory monologue) hands Jack Black a drink and they are sitting on the couch together talking after Jack Black has just found out that his girlfriend was cheating on him.
Kate says the following: "
I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."

And she says it all with such heart felt emotion, tearing up even towards the end. And Jack Black watches her intently, listening to every word so sincerely. And after she finishes, she takes a deep breath and looks at him and he says, "
Fuck. I think you need this more than I do." and hands her his drink.

Go. Rent it.
you, my soul-sister. The girl who I can call and tell the most ridiculously minute details to and you get it because we've both been and still occasionally are that girl.

The Holiday.

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so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 8:50 PM
| link to this post | 3 spoke |

Tuesday, June 26, 2007
My new favorite show...
A few months ago, I was over at The Cake Lady's house and since it was cold, we were all hanging out inside (which we don't often do, even if it's cold).
We were watching this show where they auctioned off really kick ass old cars, some of which were one of a kind. Now, I have to tell you, previous to working at Fantasy Disco Ford, I didn't know a Ford from a Dodge and didn't care that I didn't know and didn't know that I didn't care that I didn't know.
But of all the things I took away from that job, appreciating cars was one of them. Now does this mean I can talk engine shop with ya? Probably not, but I am learning.
So anyway, this auction show has some really kick ass one of a kind older cars on it and we are drooling and then gasping at the prices people are paying for them. When the show ends, another show I hadn't ever seen before comes on called PINKS.


If you've never seen the show, here is the basic premis: Two people race their cars, the winner takes home the other racer's ride.
Now there are two versions of this show. The first version is the one I mentioned above where two racers bring the suped up cars to the track and run the best three out of five races. Now the thing is, the loser can ask for lengths or that both racers run on motor only or only onephase of Nitro so there is usually a lot of haggling. The haggling is what makes it fun, two dudes all pissed off talking car jargon and this is where you learn all your stuff. There is also "sandbagging" which (for those of you not into street racing) is when one racer goes slower than they can so that they don't have to give away too many lengths on the next race.
Now the second version of the show is called PINKS All Out. And that is my favorite one to watch because there is no haggling and the cars are bad ass.
For All Out, they have like 300 cars come out and run as fast as they can run, no sandbagging allowed. It is seriously as fast as you can run and after you race two races, they take those times and hold you to them. If you run faster after those two runs, you're disqualified. After they run all the cars, they pick a time (9 seconds, 10 seconds) and they grab sixteen cars from that group and race them. They run one race and the winner moves on. There is 10k and a bunch of tools for the winner.
The great thing about this race is that you just run hard one time and the winner wins. Period.
Anyway, the reason I am telling you all of this? Because you need to check out this show. I'm telling you, it's awesome and you'll dig it :)

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so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 9:26 AM
| link to this post | 5 spoke |

Monday, June 25, 2007
Link to an amazing article...
"There were no fuzzy kittens or dolphins in that stark white hospital room at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in downtown Boston. Just ominous-looking machines and monitors that beeped and whirred. Dave grasped my hand tightly as the technician squirted gel over my belly and rolled a cold wand across my roundness, gently punching it down here and there unexpectedly, trying to get the baby to move and provide a better view on the screen. I couldn't bear to see my baby in sharp, black-and-white relief -- What does a life-threatening spinal condition look like? -- so I stared at the technician, like a panicked airline passenger caught in a thunderstorm, taking her cues from the expression on a flight attendant's face. But the technician revealed nothing. She did not utter one syllable in 45 minutes."


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so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 1:56 PM
| link to this post | 1 spoke |

I am not typically the kind of person who wonders about what people think about me. I am confident in the person that I am and believe in the things that I do. So it is rare to find myself questioning my actions.
But when I do, there is usually alcohol involved.
Lots of alcohol.
So, here I am.
You know when you are out with some friends and one of them has too much to drink and starts hugging everyone and trying to strip tease on the nearest table and you seriously consider ditching her ass?
Yeah, I don’t want to be that girl. And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve tried to perfect, if you will, my drinking. Typically I do so by not getting shit faced to begin with. I find that nice little having-fun-buzzed place and hang out there. But occasionally I have just a glass or two more than that and hit drunk.
But usually, even when I am drunk, I tend to try as hard as I possibly can to watch what I say and walk slowly and of course, never ever ever drive. I like to think that I handle it all pretty well.
But how do you know?
I mean, really, when you have random memories popping up 24 and 48 and 72 hours later? I didn’t remember these things happening until days after they happened, so who’s to say that I didn’t do something absolutely humiliating?
The first thing I usually do when I start to second guess my behavior is try to remember how effed up the people I was with were. Because if they were shit faced too, then it’s all good. But lets think about this rationally: If I am three sheets to the wind, how in the hell am I going to remember if the other person/people I was with stopped drinking early on and left me hanging out in the wind? That of course presents the worse case scenario, I was drunk and stupid and they were sober enough to remember it.
I also try to gauge exactly how idiotic I was by the next-day reactions. Are there jokes being made at my expense? Am I getting random eyebrow raises or sideways glances? If I make a seemingly innocent comment, does someone snicker?
So why am I torturing you all with this useless post?
Well for starters, I got pretty drunk on Friday. On Saturday when I was in hangover mode, the person I had been hanging with the night before didn’t say anything too nuts about my behavior. Just the one “you were wasted” comment.
Which, lets be honest, is pretty bad all by itself.
Lets add that up with a couple of my “flashbacks” that have popped up over the last few days:
I swing danced. And people, I can’t swing dance.
So there was falling.
I think just once.
In my defense, I was spun around a few times.
I remember some hand holding which in the grand scheme of drunken idiocy isn’t that bad. The bad part is that I can’t remember if it was me being a pushy chic and making him hold my hand or if it was just one of those stupid no big deal things.
There are a couple of things I definitely did not do.
I did not have sex. I know this because I haven’t had sex in almost a year and I would god damn remember if I had.
That and I do remember passing smooth out.
Probably because I was thinking about having sex before I passed out and I remember that I didn’t make it and I was a little pissed. Not that sex was even on the table, but those little details matter not when you’ve consumed an entire bottle of wine.
I did not get naked. I’m not one of those chics who gets all shit faced and then tries stripping down to my bra. It’s just not my thing. I have been known to skinny dip on occasion but I don’t usually lose all my clothes for no reason.
I did not declare my love for anyone. I seem to be much more inclined to do that when I am not around the person. I am too chicken shit to do it in person apparently. But on the phone at 2:30 in the morning? Yeah, that is when I am all about making those declarations.
So all and all, nothing too horrible. We hung out the next day (before a couple of those realizations hit me) and everything was fine. And we’ve spoken and emailed since with normalcy.
I am just feeling like a dumb ass. And since this is my blog and I know all of you love me unconditionally, I thought I’d share. Plus, I am rusty and needed to blog something :)

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so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 9:15 AM
| link to this post | 3 spoke |

Thursday, June 21, 2007
All dressed up with nothin' to say....
So it seems that I am out of practice :) Now, with a blank "canvas" in front of me and actual time to write, I find myself lacking tons of interesting things to tell all of you. And holy effing smokes, there is still an "all of you"! I had comments yesterday! As in, the SAME day I posted!
Thanks guys for hanging around for the last year while the Katehopeeden you know and love was abducted by the Super Evil UFO From Hell and replaced by the boring drone girl with no creativity.
Run on sentence? Possible, very possible...
Anyway since I am seemingly incapable of thinking up anything awesome to tell you all, I would like to, instead, introduce you to some new members of my family.
About three weeks ago, the little white stray kitty that wandered into my life in September had her some pretty babies.
Two Calicos and a little gray striped male.
They are currently living in my closet and have been given temporary names by my daughters that I can't remember except that they all start with the letter "S" and I think that the striped one, claimed by Trin, is being called "Stripey".
They will receive real names in the next few weeks as they start to develop personalities and I finally accept the fact that I can't give them away.


And the money shot:
the eyes!

Who does that remind you of??

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so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 10:28 AM
| link to this post | 7 spoke |

Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Hello World, remember me?
That girl you used to dig? The one who used to post with regularity and some occasional hilarity? You don’t remember?
Ah, well I don’t blame you. She has been out of the loop a lot lately and if your attention has strayed to new and more exciting blogs, well who is she to bitch?
You ready for the reasons behind her semi-disappearance?
Here’s the deal: I went to work for the devil’s sister. Any semblance of relative freedom with a computer was TAKEN from my very hands and I became what can only be called a drone.
It sucked.
I didn’t realize it for awhile. Just thought I had a new kind of job and that was part of it.


That was, until I realized my very soul was being sucked out. My day to day happiness was like fuel for her Evil Fire. The more she stole, the more she could go home and cackle into her cauldron. And let me tell you, I got tired of being cauldron fodder.
Lesson learned over the last year: YOU SHOULDN’T HATE YOUR JOB PEOPLE!
You shouldn’t hate Monday and want to trade parts of your body to have a few more hours on Saturday and Sunday. If you do, CHANGE something. I can’t stress that enough. Already I am back up to 90% as opposed to the maybe 50% I had been working at for the last 8+ months. I’d be at 100% if my lazy ass was getting out of bed and doing a couple of miles in the morning AND if I could find a fucking house to buy! :)
The good news? I foresee much blogging in my foreseeable future as I have a job where I can do it from work again!
SO for those… what… two? Maybe two of you still reading? For you two clingons, I am thinking there will be content :) Yay for content!

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so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 1:33 PM
| link to this post | 5 spoke |

Friday, June 08, 2007
The Prince
"Mamma, I drew a picture for you..."

mom & prince

"Oh, I LOVE it. What is it?"

"It's you and your prince!"

"Of course it is, I love it! I am going to take it home and hang it on the fridge."

"Yeah, and after you hang it on the fridge you gotta go find your prince Mamma."

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so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 4:40 AM
| link to this post | 0 spoke |

Who: katehopeeden
Where: San Antonio, Texas Yeah, so I am all that you see here. I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty... sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends. I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am. Want to know more?
Click here!

12/14/84 - 1/26/05

"The most wasted day is one in which we have not laughed"

"Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you might miss it."

"Guys are like stars, there's a million of them out there but only one of them can make your dreams come true." "Don't spend your life with someone you can live with, spend it with someone you can't live without."

"Reach for the moon, even if you miss you will still land among the stars"



Hot Toddy

Finding Liz

The Adorable DB

Tux Baby
Malcolm (he'll be back)

They'll All Fall

we grabbed the lion

Red Hot Sexy Papa



Madi (my stalker)

Did I miss you?
Do you feel left out and sad?
Click that link up there
and email me your blog!

Childhood Memories

My Mother

The Story of AZ

The Time In Between

The Beginning Of NY

The man from my dreams

The End Of NY

Growing and Changing

Learning to Cope

These are a work in progress. They are in the right order, but more will fill in the blank spaces in time as I write them.

"I just got done reading the history lessons on your blog (yes, I've been lurking on your blog). All the respect I had for you...has increased, like, tenfold. I don't think I could have done it. To go through what you have and not only still be able to discuss it with such wit and poise, but also to raise those three gorgeous girls. You are truly an inspiration. You are honestly one of the strongest people I have ever known, either online or IRL. Thank you so much." -Stef
katehopeeden's photos More of katehopeeden's photos

That cracked my shit up! TM

Kate went to Dallas?

You asked Kate questions?

Kate was stung by a Scorpion?

Kate met Mr. I?

Kate got pissed?

There was a mouse?

Kate shared?

Kate confessed?

Kate turned 25?

Kate shared some more?

"There are some of us out here who are living vicariously through you, okay?! So for god's sake, let us have some fun and excitement!" -Educated Liberal

"I LOVE inner monologues. They rock!"
-Hot Toddy


The Gym

Morning Monologue

RHBlogger 2nd runner

sizzling RH 05

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