Monday, May 09, 2005
I give bad head…
I’m sure you didn’t expect to see that as a title. I honestly never thought I would type it. But, the fact remains, that I, your loyal and beloved blog author, give bad head. A little history on my head giving experience... Yeah, ok, next to none. With ex#1, I went down on him like maybe two or three times and always more as foreplay and not for a full blown blow job. With ex#2, it was more, like maybe four times…maybe six; half to completion. That’s it folks, the grand total of my experience (pre Mr. I) and I can count them on my fingers.
It wasn’t necessarily something I was adverse to doing, but rather just something that rarely happened. And I, with my limited experience in such things, never attempted to initiate it.
Enter Mr. I. Given his lack of sexual encounters, I foolishly assumed that he was also new to the oral side and thought I was giving him one of his first BJ’s, if not the first. With that assumption in mind, I had no problem going down on him the first time. I mean, who was he going to compare me to? He would probably just be jazzed that he was getting head. My Boss’ exact words “Let me tell you about the worst blow job I ever got… It was great.” Well, I was wrong, turns out that when you don’t have sex, you have lots of oral. Oh well, no big deal, at least I broke the proverbial cherry and had gotten that first time with him over with. But then, he admitted something that I would forever accept as a challenge. He told me that no one had ever finished him off, so to speak. Well, we can’t have that.
I became one determined chic. For some reason, I wanted to be the first person that did that to him. So, I talked to some girl friends and got some tried and true advice and then gave it another shot. Now here was the problem for me, Mr. I, well he isn’t a groaner or moaner or sigher or any of those things that would give me the slightest fucking hint that he is enjoying himself. So, I am paying really close attention to two things. The first is what I am doing (physically) to him. The second is how he is reacting. Since I am getting nothing noise wise, I have to try and judge by his movements and actions. What did I conclude from all of my studying? Not one fucking thing. The guy is unreadable to me in every damn way.
So anyway, I am there and I giving it my best shot because it would be just absolutely awesome to finally, after almost a year, be able to get this guy off. And do you know what he says to me? Put what ever you are drinking down because I will not be responsible for new keyboards. Ready? He actually asks me this and I shit you not.
“Am I getting softer?”

Yeah, I am so through with giving head.


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so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 12:05 PM
| link to this post | 4 spoke |

Who: katehopeeden
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