Let’s say, hypothetically of course, that you are friends with a girl, very good friends. You talk with her about almost everything and several times a day. You respect and value her opinion as she does yours. You have been friends for almost a year, most of that year you have also had a sexual relationship… oh yeah, and a girl friend. Many months ago girl told you she had very serious feelings for you, to which you reply that she isn’t your type religiously but you still want to be friends. (Picking up on that underlying ‘friends’ theme? Good, it becomes increasingly important in a minute.)
So you and girl remain friends, still talking many times a week, sometimes many times a day. And occasionally, still having sex. The girl pathetically forms false hopes of futuristic ideas while sadly grasping at just about anything you throw her way be it in the form of friendship or even possibly a glimpse of something more. You tell girl that you ‘will never be more compatible with any one else’. Don’t forget that part because it will solidify her long term emotional investment in the situation.
Eventually girl starts to come to grips with the fact that you will stay in your current relationship for reasons she cannot even begin to understand. While girl remains in love with you, she will date new guys as an attempt to get over you. Make sure you tell girl that it makes you jealous that she is dating other guys. She will think that means that you actually do care about her. Also make sure that you are supportive and attentive and caring continuously. Be genuinely interested in her life and her children. Make her laugh and laugh in return. Make it to where when she hears her phone ring she hopes it is you because you are the one person she wants to talk to constantly.
Then, come to her place. Have absolutely awesome sex with her after many months of not seeing each other. Make sure that several months go by so that she is starting to settle comfortably into the realm of ‘friendship’ and has stopped expecting more from you. Then spend the entire night instead of getting up in the middle of the night and leaving like you usually do. Have breakfast with her and her daughters the next morning making conversation with her daughters and her. When you leave, hug her and tell her to ‘take care’…
Now here it is, the clincher: DON’T CONTACT HER FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK. Nothing, not an email or a phone call, no actual letter or a wave from across the parking lot (again, but longer this time). Completely and totally blow her off. That, boys, is how you can acquire the status of ‘Asshole’. Why? Because the entire time the two of you have known each other, you have continuously professed to want her friendship. And now, you are treating her like someone you couldn't give a shit less about and nothing like a friend.
I love Fridays. I love knowing I don't have to get up at 6am tomorrow. In fact, I can stay in bed until 9 if I can stay asleep that long. When I go to bed tonight, I don't have to turn my alarm clock on and that in itself rocks.
The weather is on the shitty side today which blows, but oh well. It's not cold, but it's that damp rain that seeps into your clothes and makes you chilly. I hate that. But at least I won't need to run my AC tonight.
Had a lovely time with Fairy yesterday. She met me at DQ with her son. Her son and Triniti had a lovely time talking to each other in some kind of weird baby language that only they understood. Fairy confided in me that she has a crush and she thinks that those feelings are being returned which is awesome considering she hasn't had a relationship since her son's father which was like three years ago. She told me she wants to try and get out and do something this weekend and I am thinking I might see if I can set this up. G called me yesterday and he said he would love some company. The last time that we all got together and played cards and craps it was a lot of fun, so maybe Saturday night we will do it again.
I got my bracelets today! That is only one part of what I need to receive in order to get everything into stores, but at least it is a start. I will probably go set everything up with that first store this weekend so I can get my price tags and start getting everything labeled. I have to, have to, have to work on the website this weekend. I don't want to have everything I need ready and then have the site still look like supreme shit.
Realized today that I have awesome friends. I really do. Most of you have let me bend your ear a few times this week and have been truly supportive and given me great advice. MBB (which is just what I have to call you, lol), you are awesome. TG, you are awesome! Lola, you rock. I miss you guys. Yesterday when I was talking to G, we were talking about how much we miss Veronique and how much it will suck when her family moves to Florida at the end of May. I miss her, ya'll. I just think about her and my chest gets all tight and I have to force those tears to go away. How can she be gone? I don't understand it. But, I have to admit acquiring all of you as new friends has really helped to fill the void that I got when she died. Thank you all and you know who you are for your friendship. I hope everyone has a beautiful weekend.
I just wanted to let ya'll know that you may notice some changes taking place here and on the other sites I contribute to. Don't freak out or anything, just send me an email if a link isn't working for you or if you are really afraid that aliens have taken over my body :P
So lots of changes have been taking place for me lately. I had decided last week to take the leap and invest about a grand into a little business venture. All of the things I need should be arriving here in the next few weeks and I am anxious to start. Although, I have to admit that I am hating the website part. I have only done one other website from scratch before and I used Homestead and it was cake. Having to do one from scratch with out a builder is kicking my ass. Anyone know of some program available (preferably for free) that is as equally easy as Homestead was?? You will so get a gold star if you make this easier for me :)
Let's see, what else... The girls have a gymnastics show coming up next month where they will be awarded trophies and I will take something like a million pictures :) It's on Emilee's birthday as well, which will be fun for her. I wish my brother could be here... maybe I will figure out a way to get it video taped :)
Speaking of my long lost brother whom I haven't seen in two years... He will be coming into town next month on the 22nd :) I am so jazzed about this. He will be here for three weeks. We are going to try and plan a trip to the coast while he is here. Ideally it would be awesome to take my brother, my sister, my girls and Fairy and her son :) Then we could all impose on Tempest and get sunburned :)
Ok, I have to split because Boss will be here soon and I have work to do.
Have a great day readers :)
Ok, I pumped it up enough yesterday. Sorry about that, lol. I had some company Saturday night -cough cough- and I wasn't sure how I felt about writing about it initially since I knew I would be read.
But, I am going to get off topic here for a sec. See the thing is, my anonymity has recently been slipping slowly away. You all know that 'Kate' isn't my real name. It's actually my daughter's middle name, but that is beside the point. The point is that since I have been online, I have always been katehope and with the birth of my youngest daughter katehopeeden (all of my daughter's middle names). For many years, no one knew my real name but lately my real name and online name have been crossing paths a bit.
When I decided to take over the San Antonio single parents group, I used my real name. It was new for me to be addressed by my real name online. Then when I went to Dallas, people who had known me for years as Kate, suddenly knew me by my real name. Now Steve has asked me if it would be ok to use my real name for his site .
When Steve first asked me if I would be interested in writing for games, I told him my real name and his response "Hmmm - you don't seem like the kind of person who hides from controversy - you certainly fooled me :)" Is that what I am doing? Maybe I have security issues, I don't know. I guess I may have been keeping my real life and my online life completely separated in an attempt for... what? Privacy? Safety? Security? I'm not sure. I mean, what is the big deal? I am not hiding from anyone. Granted I do post some things on here that I wouldn't want broadcasted all over my place of employment or the PTA meetings (like I go to those -snort-). But what is so wrong with using my real name?
I know that about half of my online friends use their names and the other half do not. What do ya'll think? I would love to hear your opinions about my coming out of one of the proverbial closets...
Oh, yeah, if you have been waiting for that bomb I mentioned yesterday... wait no more. :P I had the best sex I have ever had in my entire life Saturday night. Ever. Don't ask, you already know who with. :P
Off to conquer the pile of SHIT on my desk.
Today, I had an assload of work to do when I got here. I am no where near done, but I have gotten past the pile of stuff that will explode if not finished by the end of the day, so I am taking a break at... 1:00, lol. See you guys get me before I even have lunch. I am all alone today. Jiffinner has Mondays off and NewGirl is helping out in customer service and Boss is on a plane to Dallas for a conference that I wish I was going to. So it's just me, sitting in this building all alone. Hey, at least I can BLAST my music :)
So, you'd think that this would be an ideal time to blow off any and all work related bull shit and screw around... sadly, not do-able since it all has to get finished. I have been super busy all day with phone calls and internet leads and paperwork... But, I promise you guys are going to get a good post out of me no later than tomorrow morning. I spent the majority of the morning feeling guilty that I hadn't already written it. I mean, didn't I say before that I wasn't leaving anything out of my blog?? Well, I meant it damn it. You guys will get the whole, exposed, stories of my mundane life unedited and as juicy as I can give them to you served on a silver fucking platter. Just as soon as I fight my way through this pile of evil shit on my desk, I will get started :) So stay tuned, I have something for you!
I know, I know... You were all checking this blog like crazy yesterday asking yourselves "where is Kate? Is she all right?" To answer your question, Kate is fine :) Kate was at *~*The Happiest Place On Earth*~* yesterday. No! Not Disney World, silly. Sea World. I spent the entire day at Sea World with my oldest daughter and every other second grader in the greater San Antonio area. It so totally rocked. Let me clarify: I have never been to Sea World before. Yeah, I know, I live a hop, skip, and a jump away. I just haven't ever really had the time, cash, or urge to go. When Amanda asked me a few weeks ago to accompany her, I declined. I blamed work but in reality I had a bad field trip experience last year (that you can read about here) and I didn't want a repeat performance. But Amanda had a plan and she slowly whittled away my reserve over the weekend stating repeatedly that I had went with Emilee last year and I had NEVER went with her on a field trip. Friday: I stood firm. Saturday: I wavered oh so slightly and mentioned in my defense that it was now to late to sign up because the forms were due the prior week. Saturday night: I laid in bed and wondered how much permanent damage I was doing to my daughter by neglecting her. I wondered how much time I had left before she decided that hanging out with her mom wasn't cool any more. I wondered if she would one day mention this field trip to a therapist and realize that this was when every thing started going wrong in her life. Sunday: I wrote a note to her teacher and practically begged to be allowed to go. I didn't get the discounted price of eight bucks since I waited so long but twenty bucks and several faxes later I was taking the day off work.
Now there is new (to me) thing that goes on for field trip now. When I was a kid, your parents just rode the bus with you to the field trip and it was fun (at least that one time my dad went with me to the museum it was). Parents can't ride the bus any more though, something about insurance. So instead, all the parents meet at the school and follow the bus. There are no less than thirty cars following the bus to the field trip destination. Now, I was prepared this time to follow the bus since I got lost going to the zoo last year. I got there early, got behind the bus, and patiently waited. This time I was going to be close to the bus not car number twenty fucking five. I did get temporarily seperated by a light this time, but followed the signs to Sea World and managed to find it :)
So there I am, paired with three other kids and three other parents off to explore the ocean type habitats of all the animals housed at Sea World. Wow, it was so cool that I am going to have to post pictures because I took something like two hundred of them. We went every where and I am not going to bore you with every little detail but my favorite part was feeding the dolphins. Oh wow. I was able to check off one of the things I absolutely HAD to do in my life and I was so excited. I probably freaked the other parents out, but I don't care because it was so awesome for me. I think that a lot of the other parents were just there to spend the day with their kids in an obligatory kind of way. Not me.. ok, besides that whole feeling like I was screwing up her life thing. I was having just as much if not more fun that my kid! Oh, it was awesome. So completely cool. We are so going back!
Here is Amanda feeding the dolphin!!! You can actually SEE the fish she just dropped. I love this picture.
Here is one of the dolphins, I have like 200 pics like this, lol.
Amanda and the eels...
Amanda feeding the duck with the blue bill...
We had bitchin' seats! We were like 6 feet from where they had the whale up on that thing it comes out of the water and lays on. It was so cool.
This is from the show that they did. Both of the seals doing 'hand stands'.
This thing weighs three THOUSAND pounds! Unbelievable.
So, I have just spent the last thirty minutes or so looking at Elliptical machines, formerly known here as The Death Machines. I realized that these are really the only workout equipment I use while at the gym, so why not cancel my stagnant gym membership and buy myself an early birthday present? The monthly gym cost will pay for the elliptical in no time and I can use it whenever I want at home instead of having to schedule time to go to the gym. So that is what I am going to do. I am going to find a Death Machine of my very own and buy it :)
Then of course there is my diet. Oh I hate diets. I hate being miserable about what I am eating. Plus, there are so many out there now. You have Adkins, South Beach, high protein, low fat, etc… How do you know which one is good for you and going to work? What diet’s are all of you on? I know some of you are dieting. I saw on TuxBaby’s blog that she is trying something called Power90 and Jiffinner and her husband are doing Adkins. Click comment and tell me what works for you and what didn’t work for you.
But who has been my friend through all of it? Who has stuck beside me through out all of my trials and tribulations? Who has been my rock, my place for comfort and resilience, my friend and my companion through out all of my writing woes? Let me tell you about my good friend, coffee. Coffee has been there for me, to help me bring you each and every entry in my blog. To give my brain the creative juices it needed in the morning to begin functioning and creating ideas for little projects. To help me think of something that hasn’t been written about before on games are for children or to find something humorous to concoct for lots of craziness or to think of some tips for candidates for my affection. So, Coffee, I wrote a short poem in your honor…
No one loves you quite like me,
No one appreciates you as much
I love your vanilla, hazelnut, caramel,
Mocha, dark roast, light roast and such.
That first sip is so special,
The warmth that melts into my tongue
The deep inhaling of your aroma
My day has quietly begun
Have a good Tuesday readers.
I'll start with Hot Toddy, whom I was disappointed in for not updating. He is usually my lunch time read and I opened up Toaster Oven to find exactly what I read the last time I was there... Moving on, The Girl, who was interestingly optimistic in her recent entries on Journey Of My Heart (I'm bummed now that I didn't call her, as I had planned to this weekend)... A hop, skip, and a jump away was Desolation Angel who has returned to Tijuana and is never disappointing in his entries of... well you just have to read Crossed Wires to know what I am talking about. A couple of new editions to my blog reading addiction are Liz and TuxBaby, who write Finding Liz and Tuxbaby's Litter Box. Then I had to go check on my boys at games are for children and see what they had done over the weekend, which in turn reminded me that I also wanted to see if Eek had posted anything new on They'll All Fall. Then it was off to check out the fashionatrix, who has one of the coolest layouts for his blog. Then over to see cnfg, who has been doing some remodeling lately on The Fish Bowl. A quick click and I am checking out Gayla's site, the Single Again Blog...
That's a nice chunk of reading there folks. Ya'll definitely keep me entertained :) Did I forget you? Don't fret, you'll be in my next shameless plug. Just click 'comment' and link us to your blog!
Now, I have to get some work done people :) Have a nice Monday.
*People who have serious conversations on their cell phones in front of other people. Cell phones alone don’t bother me, but when you are talking to your significant other about your sex issues, go outside for Pete’s sake.
*SPAM! For crying out loud! Did you know that hotmail limited the amount of people you could put on your ‘blocked’ list? How do I know? I exceeded my limit! People always say that if you go and click remove, then they consider you active and sell your name to someone else. So you get rid of one email and acquire twenty more. Damn them, damn them, damn them.
*And while we are on the subject, lets talk about telemarketers. Let me clear this up for you: I do not need a new long distance plan. I love mine, really. Seriously. I have argued with many of you about it and mine is actually cheaper. Back off. I don’t have a mortgage; therefore I have no need to refinance it. I don’t want your fucking credit card because then I would really be in debt and I know it! I watch too much TV already, so I don’t need HBO and Showtime. Pretty much, whatever else you are selling, you can shove it. The next time you call I am going to do one of two things. 1. Put my three year old on the phone. You’ll love her, she likes to push the buttons :) or 2. Ask you to please hold and set the phone down by the TV. You have been warned.
*When shows end on a cliffhanger. You spend forty-five minutes waiting for the big ending and they screw you out of it. SORRY, you have to wait until next week to see what happens. AND THEN, the next week? Yeah, it’s a rerun. Like Everwood, where I have been waiting to see if Madison had Ephram’s baby or not for like a month! What the hell?
*When I lose a post. When I spend an hour writing a post and then Blogger takes a huge crap and I lose the whole thing. Yeah, I can TRY to recreate it, but it is doubtful that it will rock as much as it did when I wrote it the first time.
*Whoever happens to be dating Matthew McConaughey pisses me off.
*People who don’t pay attention when you are explaining something to them piss me off. Write it down or something, geez. It’s way the hell easier to write it down then to ask me how to do it again and incur the wrath of Kate. And I do have wrath, oh yeah baby, watch out for my wrath.
*Really bad commercials. Not all of them are bad… like the one with the bear and the bottled water, that one made me laugh my ass off… But the bad, poorly made ones where you would rather turn the TV off than wait through any more commercials - those suck.
*Having to pee. I mean, who the hell thought up the idea of peeing MULTIPLE times a day? Once isn’t enough? If I had designed humans, we would have a much bigger bladder. Peeing would happen one time a day and we could just unload all that liquid and forget about it. It would be like showering, once a day and then put it out of your mind.
It's Friday, readers - unload. What pisses you off?
Almost every one I have told about this has said that they want to go! Isn't that awesome? So far, there are only a couple of definites and that's cool. I had so much fun in Dallas a few weeks ago that I am excited about my next trip. I spent a few minutes today perusing dudes on yahoo personals that are in New Orleans. Wouldn't that be interesting? To chat with some cutie pie for a few months and then meet him in October? Gets all of the initial awkwardness out of the way... Just something I was bouncing around in my brain :) What do ya'll think about it?
I decided that I do not travel enough! I want to go places and I want to take my girls places. If I made a bunch more money then the girls and I would take big trips. Ireland, Greece, Canada (to see Lola and my sister), Disney World, Hawaii, France, Italy... I could make a deal with my girls that every time they learned a new language we would go to that place :) It would be fun and they would be cultured. In other countries being bilingual and trilingual is totally normal as is traveling to other countries. I have never set foot outside of America and I live a hop, skip, and a jump from Mexico. The furthest away I have been is to Hawaii. Where would ya'll go? Click comment and tell me! Something to fantasize about while you are all at work
I just think it would be cool to take all the people I like and start a town. I don't want to be in charge or anything, this isn't some weird Pinky and The Brain attempt to control the world. Think about it - you and all your closest friends in your own functioning town. You could have weddings like that one in The Village where everyone actually gives a shit and comes and has a blast and no one is left out.
I don't feel all that camaraderie where I live. It is like my being a single mom makes me an outcast the majority of the time. I don't fit in with the Married Mom Club. Even the married moms I like don't have much in common with me and we have a hard time trying to find something to talk about.
Wouldn't it be cool if your friends lived on the same road as you? You could see your kids playing with their kids out your kitchen window and go next door for coffee??
Maybe I just need some coffee :)
Have a good day readers.
skipping back into reality
I was reading STAR magazine (I know a secret pleasure its bad) and on one page they have big quotes from celebrities and i thought you like to read this one about our hottie Matthew McConaughey.
"I don't wear clothes if I don't have to. It feels better that way. I ain't harmin' nobody."
-We don't see anything wrong with that either (STAR)
Wouldn't you agree Kate? I know your really excited right know and all you can think about is getting off work so you can go buy STAR right now. LOL JK!!! Well i guess i will talk to you later. Love You lots.
Ok, let me start with 'our Matthew'... Honey, I love you too and tons, but 'our' -- me thinks no. I know you meant to say 'your Matthew' and that is totally forgivable :)
Isn't it sad, dear readers, that Matthew McConaughey is running around naked most of the time and it has to be behind closed doors??? Damn Universe. I would be running out to buy Star, had they pictures of said hottie in the nude. Of course, the magazine would probably cost considerably more if they did :)
Hey, Billabong? What the fuck is going on with your blog??? I can't even link to it because there isn't anything there babe! Get your nose out of Star and get your ass to work on that blog. (That was me being bossy :P)
Happy Tuesday readers :) Have a nice day! Want to email me too? Click here.
Friday at 6:00 we left and hit the highways to Dallas. As we are driving, I was thinking about how we should have done this while she was still alive. I mean, if all five of us (G, J, Fairy, Ruthie, and I) could take this weekend and go to Dallas, why hadn’t we done it while she was alive? Guilt; it’s something I am getting used to feeling. So, here’s where I chunk out some advice to those who give a shit. Go see your friends. You aren’t too busy to hop in the car (or on a flight) and go spend time with those you love.
The trip was nice and fairly uneventful. J kept trying to get everyone to talk. Every once in awhile he would just say “Ya’ll quit making so much noise back there!” and then we’d all start chatting. How lucky I was to be in this car, with these people. How lucky I am that I can call them my friends. Fairy was reading a Christopher Pike book and Ruthie was… well, not sure what she was doing, lol.
We stopped in Lampasas to pee (thank goodness) and these chics drove by and hollered at G. ‘wooooooooohoooooooo!!’ lol, go G! This was to be the theme of our trip. G was loved by all. People in Dallas were saying ‘hi’ to him and basically sneering at the rest of us. He was dug by the D-town peeps. (Did I just type that??? lol, need. Sleep.)
I took over driving in Waco and let me get this out of the way – I FUCKING HATE the concrete barriers. When I started driving, everyone was all kicked back and mellow. Ten minutes later, everyone was sitting up, on the edge of their seats, freaking the fuck out. Why? Well, when your driver is shitting bricks, it tends to make you slightly uneasy. G kept telling me ‘Kate, it’s cool. Those barriers are like two feet past the line.’ Yeah, then the two feet was gone and it was lineconcrete barriers. Fuck the concrete barriers! We got slightly lost for a few minutes, but arrived at the apartments at 11:30. It was hard. Being there was hard. I was glad I had already been once and that the initial shock of standing there in her apartment wasn’t so staggering this time around. G and I spent a lot of time sitting in her closet looking at everything and crying. I feel the closest to him in regards to her because he and I knew her longest. Everyone else kind of wandered around. A few hours later we decided to crash. G and I slept in her bed, the others in the living room. I don’t know how that girl got two seconds of sleep, living so close to that friggen road! And what the fuck is it with Dallas people??? Don’t you guys sleep? Traffic at three in the morning? Are you fucking kidding me? Jeeeeesus! G and I talked for awhile and then I finally crashed. I woke up a few hours later and G was gone. I had no idea where he was, thirty minutes or so later he came out of the closet. When I asked him what he was doing he said “it just smells really good in there”. It did.
Yesterday we did a lot of cleaning and rearranging to prepare for the furniture that Veronique’s parents were bringing and then I hit the hay. It was a long ass weekend. From the time I left my house to the time I was back it was thirty two hours!
I just hung up the phone “It’s good to have you back in [town]” Cute-boy tells me. It’s good to be home. My daughters asked me last night if I was leaving on Friday again. No. I told them that I wasn’t taking any more trips for awhile.
Her things are here and I feel better about that. I feel like she is home.
Now, I am here at work. My shirt has coffee stains on it, my boss is pissed that I parked the rental car in the front of the building (in his spot), Beck is singing Loser on the radio, I have no less than three million things to get accomplished today (the last of which is flirting with Cute-Boy from four to six which won't be nearly as easy with my shirt stained).
Happy Monday Readers!
I hopped over to MTV and started to read Matthew’s blog about the shooting of Sahara (his new movie). When you start reading something like this, it makes you wonder if he actually writes it himself or does he dictate it to someone else who then elaborates on it and makes sure his punctuation and what not are all in order. Anyway, check out Matthew McConaughey’s blog and his website if you are so inclined. Then click on the comment link and tell me who you want to meet :)
I am once again packing my things for the weekend. Tomorrow afternoon I am piling into a rental car with three other close friends of Veronique's. We are going to pack her things and bring them home. This is truly one of the final steps.
Another step towards closure was taken the night before last when I had a two hour conversation with the guy Veronique was with when she died. He is going to try and meet with us while we are there this weekend. I wanted so badly to not like him, I wanted him to be an asshole so that I could in some way place some blame on him. He wasn't and I couldn't. While the type of pain that he and I are both in is different, I don't doubt that his is any less than mine. He blames himself and said that he would give anything to trade places with her and I believe him.
I know this is going to be a hard trip. I don't think I realized how hard until I was standing in Veronique's apartment on Saturday. I was standing there looking at the pictures she had of all of us that she loved, the artwork she has drawn, the pieces of paper that she had written her name on a hundred times... If an apartment can ever be a person, this apartment is her. It radiated her and the things she loved and the person that she was. I wanted to crawl into her bed and cry.
As this experience is passing and we are tying up loose ends and making everything slide back towards normalcy, I half expect her to walk up when we are done. If life has to go back to normal and everything is to be put back in it's place and we are all to go on living the way we lived before, she should be here. My mind has such an impossible time accepting her death. Logically, I understand it. I know she is gone. I got the phone call, I put together the cd, I told more people than I can remember what happened, I spoke with the guy who was with her and I have cried and cried... Yet, somehow, it doesn't feel real to me. As much as I miss her, she doesn't feel gone.
So, readers, again I leave you for a weekend. I hope you are able to amuse yourselves :)
Gonna miss me? I thought you would :) I'll try and get something up here tomorrow...
April 8: Mars trine Jupiter
You'll need energy and determination to deal with the solar eclipse that's due later this afternoon -- and fortunately, that's exactly what this pair will provide. The combined talents of red-hot Mars, the god of war, and Jupiter, who never did know when to quit, can't help but get you through just about anything. They're both in an extremely cooperative mood, too, thanks to the fact that they're linked in an easy trine. So if something difficult is thrown your way, don't let it get you down. Realize that you have these two powerful planetary allies on your side, stick out your chest and deal with it.
April 8: New Moon, solar eclipse
Loving Venus and tenderhearted, sentimental Neptune paired up earlier this week to make for an easy, mellow time -- and hopefully you enjoyed it, because the pace of life is going to pick up big-time today. A super-charged solar eclipse (basically, a meeting of the Sun and Moon) will occur this afternoon in impetuous, impulsive Aries -- and this, friends, is the stuff that sudden, drastic change is made of. If you've been looking forward to eliminating a certain situation from your life, but waiting until the time was right, wait no longer. All the cosmic lights are green.
April 8: Venus square Saturn
Better prepare to tighten up your belt and cut back -- and not just a little, either. Loving Venus will make a difficult square to rigid Saturn, which often means we're not able to enjoy life for just a little while. After last weekend's excess, of course, this news may come as a welcome relief -- especially if it took you longer to recover than you thought it would. The downside is that you may need to say goodbye to someone or something that you care about very much. If that's the case, realize that everything has a season, and that there may be a bit of winter weather coming up for you now.
April 10: Sun square Saturn
Recent changes may have left you feeling a bit shell-shocked. So if you need some time alone to recover, you should definitely give it to yourself. It probably wasn't the kind of weekend you want to experience again soon, especially if you had to let go of a relationship or a situation and weren't quite emotionally ready. With all of life's events, however, there's an upside, a silver lining in every cloud. In this case, remember that clearing the boards of what's not working makes room for new life, which is really what today's Sun-Saturn square is all about. Do your mourning -- and allow yourself plenty of time for it -- but don't let it take you over. This, too, shall pass.
Today, Kate, you may be feeling a bit out of sorts. You are not sick, just exhausted from the efforts you have been putting in at work lately. This is a sure sign of stress, and an indicator that you are due a true day off - from chores, personal projects, the works! Forget the workload you had planned for the day. If you rest and relax everything not finished today will be accomplished in no time tomorrow. So take the day off - you need it!
That's laughable... Take the day off? Yeah, I fucking wish. All right ya'll, back to my reports :)
Last thing! Billabong responded to my Ask Me Anything post and I wanted to have at least two people to respond to per post (like I did here), so if anyone wants to ask me anything, go comment on the Ask Me Anything post and I will try and get some new answers up today :)
Off to do my reports, have a great day Readers!
Thinking of a title is usually one of the hardest things about blogging. You want it to be catchy and interesting and sometimes funny. Thinking of a title was not a problem after this weekend, picking one was :) Such titles as 'The Mortician Stalkers', 'The Cowboy and The Morticians', '39 minutes at 28 thousand feet', 'The Party Bus Full of Balloons', 'Zero body fat', 'Guessed his age by feeling his stomach', 'Did you know the Pope died?', 'Snotty brat on the plane', 'Condoms at Albertsons', 'Hurricanes, Mind Erases, and Buttery Nipples... oh my'... The list goes on and on (literally - it's in my bag). I was jotting down blog titles in my hotel room and making metal notes the entire time we were out.
Let me start by saying that I had an absolutely awesome time in Dallas. I don't know what I was expecting, but I was not expecting all of these wonderful people to exceed every expectation that I had for them. I wasn't expecting that I would have NO down time at all because we would be having such a fantastic and jam packed weekend. I wasn't expecting to connect in so many ways to so many people in such a short amount of time! I wasn't expecting to cry and then laugh like I haven't laughed in so long all in the same day. I have so much to tell you all that I am hoping I can fit it all in the same post.
[note: I realized very quickly, while typing this story, that it wasn't going to be possible. I will get Friday in today, the rest I will try and add by the end of the day or tomorrow. I will put these in order when I am done. For now, I am going to post what I can when I can, so stay tuned!]~Kate
I guess I should start with Friday. I have to admit that when I was packing everything Thursday and Friday that I was having an inner panic attack. I was suddenly very scared of something bad happening. I kept hearing that voice in my head saying that I was an absolute idiot for leaving my kids. What if my plane crashed and my kids were left without a mother all because I wanted a weekend of fun?? I had to repeatedly reassure myself that I wasn't doing anything wrong and my freaking out was little more than nerves and an overactive imagination. This didn't stop me from leaving love-notes under my daughter’s pillows and damn near video taping a message to them in case something DID happen. Yeah, I know, I'm insane :P
So, I am sitting in the airport waiting to board and reading a Nora Roberts book. Every time I read one of her books, I get pissed off at myself. By the time I am done with the book, I am all melancholy. It really makes you want to be in that kind of love. I tell myself to stay away from her stuff and then I read more and want what she is writing about more! lol Anyway, I was reading to keep my brain distracted until I had to get on the plane. Why is it that I never get to sit by some gorgeous doctor on the plane? Huh? The Universe always puts me next to either some fiftyish man or some chatty chic. Not fair! I am walking down the aisle to get to my seat and I walk by something like ten HOT guys and then I end up sitting by the business chic on the way there. Oh and in case you were in need of something to snicker at, I totally whacked my head on the overhead compartment twice when getting into my seat.
So, then the flight. It was windy as all hell on Friday and that flight was bumpin' and shakin' the entire time. Scared the shit out of me. It was a Friday flight from San Antonio to Dallas so it was full of business people heading home and none of them batted an eyelash at the turbulence while I was trying so hard not squeal like a girl. I grabbed the seat in front of me twice when the plane dropped. The guy two seats over never stopped his crossword puzzle. Those business people have nerves of steel.
I arrived at DFW at 4:50 and was greeted by the girl in the pink cowboy hat whom I will call 'SB'. She was exactly what I pictured her to be. Organized, a sweetheart, gracious, and just plain awesome. She had the BEST parking place! We chatted on the way to the hotel... I say 'we', I should say I rambled incessantly and she patiently listened to my babbling, lol.
Off to dinner we went in... I don't know how many cars, lol. Two pitchers of margaritas between Liz, Jer, Lola and I at dinner and picture passing where everyone oooh'ed and awww'ed at everyone else's gorgeous kiddos. The food was so yummy! Stories were shared and friendships were solidified over Mexican food that still makes my mouth water. Then back into the cars to head to the Rodeo.
We were an hour late for the rodeo and arrived at the Team Roping part. Lola and I both sat down and spotted the CUTE guys two rows down literally at the same second, lol. One of the guy's shirts said 'DIFS' then under it said 'to embalm and preserve'... The guy sitting on his right was... -DROOL- he was OMG Hot! All three of them were good looking guys, but that guy on the right was ahead in the race :) We left the Rodeo and went to Billy Bob's. This place was fucking HUGE! And the direct definition of a Meat Market. You couldn't throw a stone with out hitting a HOT dude! Lots of eye candy! Then (surprise, surprise) if we aren't sitting at the table next to the guys from the Rodeo! :) Tuxbaby went over and asked what his shirt meant and he told her he was in Mortician school!
Lola, Jer, and I decided to go take a walk around the place and see just how giant it was. While we were walking around, Jer kept falling behind. When she got back to the table she said that it was fun walking behind Lola and I because every time we walked past a guy/guys they would just look up and watch us walk by. lol The next time she came back, she brought 'Nate' who proceeded to drool over Lola for the remainder of the evening.
There were drinks and conversation until very late. I think it was after one when we left and headed back to the hotel. Everyone was pooped! Funny thing was, the next morning, almost everyone admitted that they couldn't sleep when they got back to their rooms!
Ok, that covers Friday, I'll start on Saturday in a little while :) Don't hold your breath, it'll be a little while because I am starving and have a pile of work :)
Did I miss anything? E-mail me! My brain is mush and I know my details and recollection isn't at an all time high :)
running off to the coffee pot and begging for more :)
I woke up before eight and was just lying there. It was too cold in my room to get up and close the curtains and even if I had, I wouldn’t have been able to sleep any way. I silently cursed myself for many things. The first was leaving the AC on the ‘freeze your fucking ass off’ setting. The second was leaving the curtains open which allowed the light in, which woke me. The third was for being awake when I could have slept for two more hours. The fourth was for not plugging my phone in to charge the night before. The fifth was for not getting coffee creamer. The sixth was for not drinking enough water the night before which was why my belly wasn’t happy. The seventh was for forgetting my iron pills.
I got up and turned the AC off and put some music on. Into the shower I hopped and jammed to Gavin DeGraw while getting all cleaned up. After my shower, I put my PJ’s back on and woke MBB up to beg for a milk product of some kind and a few sheets of paper (for all my blog ideas) which he oh-so-sweetly let me have. Back in my room, I made up my bed, ironed everything, and wrote for a few minutes and then threw on some clothes and headed down stairs to meet every one. We went to The Stockyards and ate at a great BBQ place that I cannot remember the name of [note: looked it up, it was called Risckey's Barbeque]. Afterwards – SHOPPING. I bought the girls these very cool bracelets that I will link back to when I find a link to them and about fifteen bucks worth of candy. They are called Zoppini and just about the coolest thing I have seen in a very long time. [note: after doing this search, I spent thirty minutes!!! looking at charms and bracelets!] I plan on buying about fifteen of them and using them as gifts from now on. Have a birthday coming up? That’s what you are getting from me :P
When everyone had bought all they could afford to buy, we went to the Maze and competed with a woman I can only refer to as The Queen of the Maze (Babs). She did it in three minutes, which kicked the hell out of mine and Lola’s eight-minute score!
Then it was back to the hotel to drop off purchases and split up. I’m not real sure where everyone else went but The Girl drove me to Veronique’s apartment. I don’t want to go into all of that because it was really very sad and something I am going to be experiencing again this weekend and would rather write about separately. I will say that it was a very emotional thing for me. Walking in and seeing the helmet her father made her buy broke my heart, hearing me on her answering machine (something like eight messages) made me sad, and being so close to her but so far away was very painful. Last thing and very odd: the apartment complex is the same one I lived in when my grandfather died. It is actually where he had his heart attack. After we left and got back to the hotel, I locked myself in my room and tried to cry out all the painful memories before it was time to leave.
Then, it was back into the party bus for the drive to Cowboys. I was in this wonderful, relaxed state just listening to everyone talk and laugh... Or I was drunk. :P
I was looking at all of these people who I have talked to online for like two years, maybe longer, and have known in person for all of twenty four hours. I am looking at everyone and I was just so happy to know them all. I felt so lucky to be in the company of all of these other single parents who I respect and admire in so many different ways. It tugged at my heartstrings to listen to everyone being so happy. These are great people, all of them, and they are all my friends! How cool is that?
It was hilarious, every time we went to one of these places, no one wanted to take their purses in so they would load up their pockets with all the necessities. The Girl grabbed her butt: money - check, id - check, gum - check, smokes - check. The a quick adjustment in the front: boobs - check. We arrived at Cowboys and there were lots of (get this -snicker-) cowboys :P Not quite the attendance we had the night before, but close enough. Lola and I took turns pointing out guys we would let escort us back to our hotel, should they be interested, lol. Then I look up and there they are, The Morticians, all three of them. We unanimously decided that it was a sign, fate, destiny that I sleep with the guy in the black shirt! I mean, come on, of all the bars in Dallas and had walked into mine... twice? Three times, if you counted the Rodeo! Yup, he had to be talked to. Except that Kate hadn't had quite as much to drink as she thought, as she was -gasp- chickening out??? Ok, to clarify, this guy was not your normal cute/good-looking guy. He was hot. When you read a book that says 'he was tall, dark, and handsome', they are talking about The Mortician, even his fucking back was pretty. And yes, I so chickened out. I couldn't talk to this guy, I was intimidated, sue me.
Now, for those of you who know me and know me well, you know that a chicken shit, I am not. So, I must be off my game, as I was seriously nervous. I don’t generally believe in leagues or things of that nature, but this was one good looking man and I think I was more scared of what I was going to do if he came over rather than if he wasn’t interested. Turns out that he had a girlfriend. :( Oh well. Also turned out that his friend was interested. So, Lola comes back and informs me of this and says that his friend is going to walk by in a sec and order a drink. If I am interested, then we grab him, if not, let him walk by. Can we give the man a round of applause, please? That takes some balls! To walk by someone who is CLEARLY going to be checking you out based on looks alone. He was a cutie pie, so we grabbed him.
A little while later, MBB says he has to use the restroom. I offered to
He comes back over and The Girl says (I SHIT you NOT), Hi, my friend here was checking you out. LMFAO! She then proceeds to tell him ‘damn, you are tall’ to which he responded that she was incredibly short (and she is, lol). Then she signals for him to turn around! AND HE DOES! (I love Dallas!) So this guy looks over at me and says ‘So, did you know the Pope died today?’ lmfao! I laughed, couldn’t help it! And then I asked him if that was his idea of a good conversation starter? He laughed and said he had to think of something! The Girl ditched me right about then, taking MBB and disappearing. I stood there and talked to that guy for about twenty minutes, until members of my party started coming looking for me. I gave him my number and was off. This was right about when I realized that I had consumed more than my fair share of alcohol and went and got what I vowed would be my last drink.
CJ was back and he and Lola had moved from the googly eyed stage to the necking stage. It was imminent that she was going to be having company. Lucky bitch :P The next few hours were a blur of dancing and shots and good looking dudes, specifically the cowboy by the front door with the black hat. O-M-G
With the time change, my times may be incorrect, but I believe it was near three when we left the bar and heading back out the party bus. CJ was to meet lucky Lola back a the hotel and there was a bunch of lecturing going on about safe sex (hey, we’re all parents remember??) and it was decided half way through the parking lot that condoms would indeed be purchased before our return to the hotel.
Maybe it was the alcohol, but Lola looked a little red in the cheeks, lol. As we approach the party bus, a very cute and very drunk boy hollers at us to wait! Please! Wait! He walks up and asks us where we are going and why we had balloons (the balloons were tied to our reserved table, btw). At first, we mostly ignored him, then The Girl decided to have him undress a little. When he had undone his shirt, she reached out and felt his stomach and said ‘you’re twenty four, right?’ He says, yup. She guess his age by checking out his stomach, lol, classic.
Jer did not let him have a balloon.
It was strange. It’s like almost four in the morning and I was AMPED. Possibly because I had been so sure I would be using that energy for something er… recreational. Or maybe I just needed to wind down from the dancing and drinking. I came in and put my PJs on and turned the air conditioner back onto the ‘freeze your fucking ass off’ setting and grabbed my cell phone. Then I thought Kate, who in the sam hell are you going to call at 4am? The answer? You know that you know... Why, Mr. I, of course. How did I rationalize/validate this call in my mind? Well, he had called me a month or so ago at 2am and I was drunk - you do the math.
I was so excited, just brimming with it. I was having such a good time and I was dying to tell him about it. I wanted to tell him about everyone that I had met and all that we had done and what I thought of everything and every one and as if to answer my silent begging, he was awake. He stayed on the phone with me for the better part of an hour and let me go on and on about anything and everything I could think of starting with the flight, the trip to Veronique's and ending with me lying in bed. I didn’t realize I had missed him until I got him on the phone. It had been what? Twenty-four hours since I had talked to him? Well, a lot had happened in twenty-four hours :) (I was surprised when The Girl said I hadn’t kept her up, what with her being in the next room and all.) Anyway, he was great, letting me go on and on until I wore myself out. I hung up with him and set my alarm for 9:30 (check out was at 11) and rolled over and passed smooth out.
Sunday… YUCK! I guess my alarm went off, I remembered setting it. Apparently having the forethought to close my curtains kept me knocked out enough to have me turning my alarm off and rolling back over. My daughters (thankfully) called at about 9:30-9:45, otherwise I would have slept straight through until well past check out time. After I hung up with my lovely girlys, I drug my very tired and slightly hung over ass into the shower where I prayed for the coffee maker to brew coffee all by it’s little ole lonesome.
I begrudgingly packed my room up and was amazed how things that had fit the day before no longer wanted to fit snuggly in my suitcase. I cursed myself for bringing so many shoes!
At eleven, I carried my things down to MBB’s room to store until after brunch. I was very happy to be able to leave them and not have to haul them down to the lobby as I was in DESPERATE need of caffeine. Downstairs I ran into my other ‘delicate’ hotel-mates who all looked like they needed coffee and sleep as much as I did. I paid the sweet guy at the counter and headed out into the incredibly bright sunshine. As is my luck, we had to go back up and get the suitcases, as there wasn’t enough time to come back to the hotel after brunch.
Brunch was bittersweet as it was a prolonged goodbye. Lola informed us that she no longer had enough condoms for everyone, lol. Everyone was going their separate ways after we ate and it was sad. The weekend was gone, and while I was drained, I didn’t want it to end. Lola, SB, Jer and I piled into SB’s car and went and did a little shopping before heading to the airport. Lola got a gorgeous top and an equally gorgeous belt. I browsed but bought nothing, as I knew my checkbook was going to cry when I balanced it. Plus, I didn’t have it in me to try any thing on I was too tired.
The car was mostly quiet as we drove to the airport. Lola and I learned that we wouldn’t be able to hang out as we had planned to while waiting for our flights, so we hugged when they dropped me off. I also hugged SB and Jer. I had promised myself I wouldn’t cry and held true to that promise. I checked in and then was sitting in the airport waiting for another plane and rehashing everything in my head, wishing I had a laptop…
Finally, it was time to board the plane and I put my book up and got in line with every one else. I had the window seat again, but on the smaller side of the plane this time. I sat next to a very skinny woman who was polite and asked me if I had an Ipod because she needed help with hers and she was hoping my ‘youth’ could benefit her, lol. I told her I didn’t and sorry and thank you for telling me I look young when I feel exhausted. I sat there and read while the plane loaded. About ten minutes before take off, an elderly woman asks the stewardess (I don’t give a flying fuck what is PC, I am calling her a stewardess) if she and her grandson can move to the seat behind me seeing as how it was still empty and her grandson wanted to look out the window. I thought awwww, how sweet. Yeah, I thought wrong.
Let me preface here. I am a mom, I am patient, I truly love children. That said, I wanted to murder this fucking kid by the time the plane landed. I wanted to give his poor “Gammy” a million dollars and yell at his parents. That plane ride was 39 minutes of HELL (which, btw, is where this kid is going should he opt to not get his snotty little attitude in order). I had nothing but utter and complete sympathy for his grandparents who had been traveling with this demon all day.
And, why is it that when I kid behaves badly everyone assumes he has ADHD [no emails about ADHD, please. I am not knocking ANY kids that have it, I am generally sympathetic, I was very tired.], rather than that he is a spoiled little brat? The woman sitting next to me was reading all of these papers on Leukemia. I didn’t understand the titles with their 27 letter words (yeah, I counted, so what?) so I have no idea what they said. But about half way through the flight when the hellion was kicking my seat repeatedly despite Gammy’s warnings, I must have made an annoyed sound because the woman next to me takes her fingers off of her ears, where she was using them as plugs to keep the noise out and looks at me and says “He must have ADHD , poor thing”. Poor thing? Are you fucking kidding me? Then, honey, if you feel so bad for him, switch seats with me before I kill the poor thing. The poor thing was Gammy! I would have been feeding that boy valium like it was candy. Poor thing my ass! The kid was spitting on the fucking window! I have never been so happy to get off a plane and smoke.
Outside, back in my San Antonio. Back in my air, my scenery, my town. Garrett picked me up and took me to his place where I laid on his couch for twenty minutes while his roommates finished their video game and got ready and then they took me home to my sweet, sweet, girls. I missed them! I gave them their presents and then lay down with Triniti and we all talked until bedtime, which was eight o’clock. Then I passed smooth out, yet again.
Where: San Antonio, Texas Yeah, so I am all that you see here. I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty... sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends. I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am. Want to know more?
12/14/84 - 1/26/05
"The most wasted day is one in which we have not laughed"
"Life moves pretty fast, if you donâ€™t stop and look around once in a while you might miss it."
"Guys are like stars, there's a million of them out there but only one of them can make your dreams come true."
"Reach for the moon, even if you miss you will still land among the stars"
The Adorable DB
Malcolm (he'll be back)
They'll All Fall
we grabbed the lion
Red Hot Sexy Papa
Madi (my stalker)
Did I miss you?
Do you feel left out and sad?
Click that link up there
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A few years later...
The Red Princess Detective
Song of the day - Cover Me
Enchiladas and Spanish rice for my sister
Kale, leeks and pesto over pumpkin ginger rice noo...
bedding and barstools and dinnerware, OH MY!
The Story of AZ
The Time In Between
The Beginning Of NY
The man from my dreams
The End Of NY
Growing and Changing
Learning to Cope
These are a work in progress. They are in the right order, but more will fill in the blank spaces in time as I write them.
"I just got done reading the history lessons on your blog (yes, I've been lurking on your blog). All the respect I had for you...has increased, like, tenfold. I don't think I could have done it. To go through what you have and not only still be able to discuss it with such wit and poise, but also to raise those three gorgeous girls. You are truly an inspiration. You are honestly one of the strongest people I have ever known, either online or IRL. Thank you so much." -Stef
Bowling For Soup
Our Lady Peace
Kate went to Dallas?
You asked Kate questions?
Kate was stung by a Scorpion?
Kate met Mr. I?
Kate got pissed?
There was a mouse?
Kate turned 25?
Kate shared some more?
"There are some of us out here who are living vicariously through you, okay?! So for god's sake, let us have some fun and excitement!" -Educated Liberal