Well, for those of you who aren't totally bored with my on-going saga about Mr. I, I'll update you. Yeah, so I am pissed at him... Do I have a right to be? Probably not, but I am anyway. The last time I made the mistake of sleeping with him, he didn't call for three days. When he finally did call, I mentioned this and he said he had felt guilty... In my dumb ass assumption, I thought that the guilt he was feeling involved me, at least partially... it didn't. So, here we go again... Round and round on this self depreciating merry-go-round...
So last night when I went to bed, I was thinking of exactly what I would like to say to him. The fact of the matter is that I know Mr. I has feelings for me. I don't say this in some outreach of desperation, but rather because I know it is true. He hasn't ever had a relationship that was both emotional and physical and after many conversations, I have come to realize that this is because he is scared to tie the two together. He can handle the non-physical, semi-emotional relationship or the physical, non-emotional relationship, but not a fully emotional and physical. That gives to much away and he isn't ready for that.
But now I have been downgraded to a level of him barely even being my friend?? I don't fucking think so. Here is a guy who has told me that he will never be as compatible with anyone as he is with me... Call me and call me and then sleep with me and blow me off? Have you actually met me? Because if you knew me at all, you would know that that so won't fly. So, how do I approach this? Do I approach it? Should my approach start and end with 'fuck off'?
-insert a nice loud scream of frustration here-
Maybe (a few posts ago) I was totally wrong about the being lonely. I'd much rather be lonely than be here. I hate being somewhere where I can and am being hurt. Give me single any day as opposed to pain.
~Kate
Labels: Mr. I, My pathetic excuse for a love life
