Monday, June 13, 2005
History Lesson #3 (first)
Now it is time for History Lesson #3 which could be referred to as The Time In Between. When AZ left that day, I didn't hear from him for two weeks. I had a combination of feelings about this. I was happy he was gone, I had wished it so many times but at the same time I was scared shitless about my future. I was also sad, which I think is inevitable. You are going to miss the person that you love regardless of how much your relationship had disintegrated. I have to admit that while I dreamed he would leave, I never really thought it would happen. But then, there I was, alone.
Amanda took it very hard. She glorified his existence in her mind and still does, to this day. She blocked out everything bad that had happened and just remembered her 'daddy'. Maybe that was the best thing she could have done. She was three when he left and she became withdrawn. She was sad for many months and I couldn't reach her. She blamed me, said I had made him leave. I did the only things I could do, I loved her and I waited for her to get over it. She did a few months later.
I also got my ass in gear. I was already working one job. It was only part time, two days a week (Sunday and Monday). So, I got out there and filled out applications. I got another job Tuesday through Thursday at a law office, it was mostly computer stuff. The lawyer and his assistant were extremely computer illiterate and needed me to do things like set up and manage their email accounts, answer phones, set appointments, etc. The legal aspects of it were very difficult. I had never learned anything about the legal system and here I was typing up Divorce Decrees and... I don't even remember what else. The lawyer was narcoleptic. I would be reading him whatever he had asked me to type and I would look up and he would be asleep.
Anyway, while working there, I got to explore a lot of the Internet. It was something I hadn't really been exposed to yet and I was sucking it up as hungrily as I could. I met many people through various sites and chats but a few stand out and are worth mentioning here.
There was my beloved Brit, James. He was quite literally the first online friend I made. I met him in a chat room in Lycos. The first time I had ever been into a chat room. I was just sitting in front of the monitor watching everyone chat. I was probably there for ten minutes and then this private message pops up and it is James saying it was his first time as well. I wish, more than anything, that I could remember what was said but it was... wow, over five years ago. I don't know what we said, but I know we clicked. Immediately. I know I checked online many times to see if he was there. Finally he was and we were able to exchange e-mail addresses. We have been writing each other ever since and as soon as there is some kind of reasonable international long distance plan, I will be able to call him regularly as well. You can all thank him since, without his friendship, I probably would have never delved quite this deep into the Internet Ocean.
Anyway, while I was waiting to chat with my Brit on MSN, I got pretty cozy in a chat room in Lycos called Divorced Moms and Dads. I met a great many people on there that I still shoot the shit with occasionally. One of which was Triniti's father, NY. But I am getting ahead of myself.



so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 6:00 AM
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Who: katehopeeden
Where: San Antonio, Texas Yeah, so I am all that you see here. I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty... sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends. I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am. Want to know more?
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12/14/84 - 1/26/05

"The most wasted day is one in which we have not laughed"

"Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you might miss it."

"Guys are like stars, there's a million of them out there but only one of them can make your dreams come true." "Don't spend your life with someone you can live with, spend it with someone you can't live without."

"Reach for the moon, even if you miss you will still land among the stars"



Hot Toddy

Finding Liz

The Adorable DB

Tux Baby
Malcolm (he'll be back)

They'll All Fall

we grabbed the lion

Red Hot Sexy Papa



Madi (my stalker)

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Childhood Memories

My Mother

The Story of AZ

The Time In Between

The Beginning Of NY

The man from my dreams

The End Of NY

Growing and Changing

Learning to Cope

These are a work in progress. They are in the right order, but more will fill in the blank spaces in time as I write them.

"I just got done reading the history lessons on your blog (yes, I've been lurking on your blog). All the respect I had for you...has increased, like, tenfold. I don't think I could have done it. To go through what you have and not only still be able to discuss it with such wit and poise, but also to raise those three gorgeous girls. You are truly an inspiration. You are honestly one of the strongest people I have ever known, either online or IRL. Thank you so much." -Stef
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That cracked my shit up! TM

Kate went to Dallas?

You asked Kate questions?

Kate was stung by a Scorpion?

Kate met Mr. I?

Kate got pissed?

There was a mouse?

Kate shared?

Kate confessed?

Kate turned 25?

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