Well, I would love to say that the reason I haven't written was because I was lucky enough to be able to take my trip. But that isn't the case.
Instead, I hit Wal-Mart on my way back to town and then picked the girls up and came home where we proceeded to eat a ton of food an lay about watching the Olympics.
Now, I hadn't watched any of the Olympics until three nights ago. My mom was here and she wanted to watch them and since I had just finished the E True Hollywood story of Simon Cowell (read: hit rock bottom) I didn't have a leg to stand on. At first, I was just going to change over to the Olympics and then hand her the remote and go find something else to do... but when I changed the channel and started to get up, I was staring right into the eyes of Apolo Anton Ohno.
Slowly, I put my butt back on the couch and decided to watch, you know, for just a few minutes.
Let's see what this cute boy does...
Then it morphed into a soap opera.
Enter Chad Hedrick, another certified hotty,
this one from my home state and Shani Davis.
By now, I am sitting crosslegged with zero intention of moving. Turns out Chad and Shani don't like each other very much because Shani dropped out of some team event causing the US to either lose or forfeit, I can't remember which. Mostly because I kept thinking 'holy shit, look at their legs'.
They have huge fucking legs.
So, then it gets better.
I can hear you saying 'how could it?
Oh, but it does.
Turns out that cutie boy Apolo Ohno won the gold over Korea (at least I think it was Korea) at the last Olympics and that Korea is all pissed off at him. Like, the whole country hates him because he beat their countryman. When he went there to compete, he had to take bodyguards. And it wasn't even his fault that the other dude was disqualified or penalized or whatever... And Ohno keeps giving interviews saying that he is basically scared to hell that the two Koreans in the race will gang up on him and knock him down or something since they could do it with out it being obviously done on purpose and thereby breaking the rules. On one of his interviews he says that if he were could change one thing about his sport it would be to enforce the rule against team skating.
So, of course, by the time the race starts, I am on the edge of my seat to see if the Koreans are going to push him down and kick his ass. And the Koreans come out and they look pissed off and mean, like ninjas sans facemasks.
Around and around the rink they go. There is some kind of etiquette here, rules for passing and such but I have no idea what it was. I just kept waiting for someone to eat it.
But no one did. Which kind of sucked since I was already to have Apolo's back, you know? Anyway, Apolo didn't get gold, he got silver and a tiny little part of me was bummed. I so wanted him to kick their asses. Afterwards he said that they skated a fair game.
Then Shani Davis goes on to win the gold in something. And he was like the first African American to win a gold medal in a speed skating competition and that so made me cry. Even though he made Chad Hedrick, whom I think I am in love with, lose out on the medal for the team skate.
It was such a rush.
So, the next night I came in to watch the Olympics with my mom and got to see the ski jumping. Which should be filed under "suicidal" on the Olympic sign up sheets.
Three words to describe this sport: Holy Fucking Shit.
Basically some dude (or chic? I didn't see any chics.) goes down this ramp thingy and then flies through the air for like 75 seconds, encompassing like fifteen stories before hitting the ground. Fuck that, right?
The announcers are all talking about form and the correct way to jump and what the jumper is doing to further their fall. I am pretty fucking sure that the only thing going through their minds is "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggggggg!!!"
And their landing process is "try not to break anything, try not to break anything" and the rest is just luck.
So, I set up my TIVO to record the Olympics on Thursday night and Friday night (and to record Convictions when it starts next Friday). I went and snuggled up on the couch last night and flipped on Thursday nights recorded Olympics where I saw Shani cheering for Chad at the 10,000 meter race (where he got Silver) and I was all like "awwwwwwwww, they're friends again!" and then watched the Figure Skating finals. I couldn't believe how many times they fell down!
They did a little biography on Irina Slutskaya and talked about how her mom was dying and how she had some disease and they told her she couldn't skate anymore or she would die but she just couldn't stay away which made me cry and then she won Silver after falling down twice.
After the figure skating, I was all tapped out and I went to bed. I had no idea how cool the Olympics were. They are all emotional and there are a bunch of unknown to me hotties.
So, that is what I have been up to the last few days. I have had several emails from ya'll speculating whether I had decided to go ahead and go the beach or if I had found some dude to play with or just flat out asking me where the hell I've been.
That's it.
I have been sitting in front of my tv for hours at a time watching the Olympics.
