My landlord has a shop right next door to my house and if I hop the little fence in the back (which my Boss says I shouldn't do since I am so accident prone), I can put it in the drop box and hop right back over in like two minutes. This was my elaborate plan - as I am crafty. Well, I took two steps towards the fence and then saw it. It was a brown cow, maybe a year or two old. It was staring right at me. And it scared the shit out of me.
Now, let me clarify here people. I have lived in Texas almost my entire life. I have had jobs that involved me being in direct contact with live stock on a day to day basis. I have herded up calves and cattle before in front of tourists for their entertainment, I have ridden horses and chased sheep... I am Southern :P I have been around enough cattle to know that they generally aren't something you have to worry about. But this cow was young and skittish enough that I knew it would run if frightened and being that cows are generally stupid creatures, there was the possibility that it would cause damage.
So, I did what any responsible chic would do. I went inside to get my camera. Well, shit, who the hell was going to believe that there was a cow at the diesel shop next door?? My camera was sitting on the table directly inside my house. I was only gone for ten seconds, I swear. But, when I came out, the cow was gone. That cow did not have enough time to go anywhere. I just stood there, stunned. Cows generally move very slow so I thought maybe I was a little more tired than I had previously assumed, or maybe that wine I had when I got home was getting the better of me...
Anyway, I hopped the fence, paid my rent and went to bed... wondering if the cow had been a figment of my imagination.
Then, last night, I was walking outside to put my laundry in the dryer (my laundry room is attached to my house, but you have to go outside to go in) and was half way from the door to the laundry room when I heard something moving around in the grass. Well, fuck people, I live in Texas. If you hear something moving around in your grass, you move your ass. It's like our motto here. We have all sorts and kinds of animals and half of them are spiny, spiky or have long sharp nails. In short, they can hurt you in some way or another. So when I heard the noise, I turned around and went back to the front of the house - quickly.
My mother had come by and she was still there, so I asked her if she had a flashlight in her truck. We were a sight last night, outside with a flashlight, trying to determine the cause of the noise. Sure enough, about ten minutes after we started looking, we found three cows, all about two to three years old munching on grass behind my place. Seemingly, the fence to the pasture behind my place was down.
Now, some cattle are used to people and when they see one, they do little more than continue eating. These cows, however, were not used to seeing people and when they caught a glimpse of me, they would run around. Being as I live next to a semi busy highway, this isn't safe for the people driving by. So, I called the law.
"Dispatch"
"Hi, um, this is going to sound weird, but I have cows in my yard."
"Ok..."
"Well, the thing is, I live right next to [highway] and these are young cows and they are running around and could end up causing an accident."
"Who's cows are they?"
"Hell if I know... But there are at least three of them... All about two years old... real skittish."
"Ok, ma'am, can I get your name and number?" [read: in case this is a prank call]
"Sure, this is Kate [last name] and my cell is..."
"Alright, we'll send some one over..."
About twenty minutes later, quite possibly the largest man I have seen in a very long time showed up. This cop had to be six-six, easy. He went around back, and about twenty minutes later came back and said he had chased them back into the pasture and put the fence back up. Said that it looked like the fence had been cut and then repaired really shoddy, so I needed to let whoever owned the cows know tomorrow. I had to explain to him that I have no idea who owned the cows. I rent, I said, by way of explanation. He is looking at me like I have lost my damn mind.. or maybe he couldn't hear really well. In the end, he asked me to call my landlord today and let him know since maybe he knew who owned the cows. Then he tipped his hat and left. I am sure I was keeping him from much more important police business. It was all very Mayberry.
So, there you go guys, I have never felt more like a red neck before in my life... Below is the best picture I could get of the trio with it being so dark.. Look at the eyes and tell me that wouldn't have scared you :P
~K
