Thursday, May 12, 2005
I am so shocked. I spoke to my mother last night and she said to me: "I just wanted to thank you for everything you have done for your sister and for me. You have been such a great big sister to her and I want you to know that I really appreciate it."

So, after I recovered from fainting and got up off of the floor, I was completely shocked. This highly resembles a compliment which seems unlikely since my mother NEVER compliments me. In fact she does pretty much everything with in her power to make me feel like I basically suck. I am never a good enough mother or daughter. I work too much, I don't save enough, my house is a mess, my kids misbehave... she can name my faults for days. She likes to do those not-so-subtle-hint-dropping things, where she says things like "when you guys were little, I never would have let you talk to me like that" or "when you were a little girl, I never went out and left you with a sitter, I didn't have a life" or "when I was working sixty hours a week, my house was still cleaner that this"... It goes on and on and I won't torture you with stories of how my mother and I have a strained relationship.
I am just completely blown away that she said something nice to me. She also asked me to forgive her for "everything". She said that she knew she had fucked up and hadn't behaved like a good mother should have the last ten years or so. Of course, then, as she routinely does, she turned it around into a pity party for her, one I am sure she accompanied with several beers, so I got off of the phone with her...
The fact is, that she should be thanking me. Ruthie is graduating in a matter of weeks and I would like to think that my supporting her for these last few years helped that. I would like to think that my giving her a home not riddled with alcoholism and abuse helped her make it. Of course, she did it herself and every drop of her determination got her where she is and I am insanely proud of her. I am also going to miss her so much. She will be leaving for Hawaii soon and her prom is on Saturday and she wants to move out when she gets back from Hawaii. Move out.... My first 'child' will be leaving soon and it just breaks my heart.

Ok, work now. I am going to need a whole damn box of tissues if I don't stop writing this :P
so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 6:06 AM
| link to this post | 0 spoke |

Who: katehopeeden
Where: San Antonio, Texas Yeah, so I am all that you see here. I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty... sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends. I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am. Want to know more?
Click here!

12/14/84 - 1/26/05

"The most wasted day is one in which we have not laughed"

"Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you might miss it."

"Guys are like stars, there's a million of them out there but only one of them can make your dreams come true." "Don't spend your life with someone you can live with, spend it with someone you can't live without."

"Reach for the moon, even if you miss you will still land among the stars"



Hot Toddy

Finding Liz

The Adorable DB

Tux Baby
Malcolm (he'll be back)

They'll All Fall

we grabbed the lion

Red Hot Sexy Papa



Madi (my stalker)

Did I miss you?
Do you feel left out and sad?
Click that link up there
and email me your blog!

Childhood Memories

My Mother

The Story of AZ

The Time In Between

The Beginning Of NY

The man from my dreams

The End Of NY

Growing and Changing

Learning to Cope

These are a work in progress. They are in the right order, but more will fill in the blank spaces in time as I write them.

"I just got done reading the history lessons on your blog (yes, I've been lurking on your blog). All the respect I had for you...has increased, like, tenfold. I don't think I could have done it. To go through what you have and not only still be able to discuss it with such wit and poise, but also to raise those three gorgeous girls. You are truly an inspiration. You are honestly one of the strongest people I have ever known, either online or IRL. Thank you so much." -Stef
katehopeeden's photos More of katehopeeden's photos

That cracked my shit up! TM

Kate went to Dallas?

You asked Kate questions?

Kate was stung by a Scorpion?

Kate met Mr. I?

Kate got pissed?

There was a mouse?

Kate shared?

Kate confessed?

Kate turned 25?

Kate shared some more?

"There are some of us out here who are living vicariously through you, okay?! So for god's sake, let us have some fun and excitement!" -Educated Liberal

"I LOVE inner monologues. They rock!"
-Hot Toddy


The Gym

Morning Monologue

RHBlogger 2nd runner

sizzling RH 05

referer referrer referers referrers http_referer