Lots of craziness: paranormalish ramblings

Monday, July 04, 2005

paranormalish ramblings

Something about me has been different this week. It started when I was driving home from work last Monday. Maybe it's the heat... Anyway, when I was driving home on Monday, I realized that my senses have been ever so slightly heightened, more so than usual. I've had a particular person on my mind non-stop and for no apparent reason. I told The Cake Lady about this. I told her that it seems to me almost like he is vibing me or something. Like an exaggerated ringing of the ears, so to speak. Why? Because there is no reason at all for me to think about him. Nothing that should be causing me to be concerned about his life this much. We haven't even spoken to each other since December. But, yet, here I am, wondering how he is - constantly. It has never happened to me for so long and so strong.
I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that this is something to do with my lack of sex and lack of boyfriend (or even a reasonably decent excuse of a date) but I assure you that there is nothing like that between he and I. What I feel for him is genuine friendship. But he is there, a nagging in the back of my mind any time that I have a free thought.
He is in a situation that warrants my concern, but I am not able to help him or be there for him (all because of said situation). I want to be, but I cannot. So, The Cake Lady's advice? Vibe him back. If he is apparently sending out our connection into the Universe, then maybe I should return it, maybe that is what he needs. Maybe she is right. So that is what I am going to do. Whenever I think of him, I am going to send him my positive thoughts and hopes for him and keep my fingers crossed that this will help.
Yeah, my brain works weird. Even more so when I have been out in the sun for twelve hours. If paranormalish thinking isn't something you dig, come back tomorrow when my writing will be a little more normal. If you don't mind it so much, then keep reading because I do (believe it or not... at least I hope) have a point.

The other day, when I was cleaning my house, I pulled my (really fucking awesome) table away from the wall so I could sweep and mop under it. When I did, I noticed my walls were looking a little grungy. I had the clear thought that I needed to paint. I even almost went and got the paint, but instead, I talked myself out of it by mentally listing off a ton of other stuff I still needed to do. I just told myself I would paint later, whenever that would be. Two days later, my landlord stopped by and asked me for the paint so he could get another of his rental houses ready to be rented. I should have went with that feeling and painted.

My feelings about things have been dead on lately. Yesterday, when The Cake Lady left me at her place while she ran out to pick a few things up, her mom got there and needed an ashtray. I went inside to look for one and had no fucking idea where one would be (because they don't smoke). I walked through her place like three times trying to find one. Then, I just stopped. I thought to myself about what she had said and decided to try and vibe her. Am I crazy? Well, who cares... anyway, I sent out the thought to her that I was looking for an ashtray. A few seconds later, I am picking one up in the kitchen.

Is it crazy? Is it crazy to think that you can have feelings like these? Little psychic whispers? I have never thought so. In fact, since my kids were born, I have them all the time. When I was potty training my girls, I knew, just knew, when they had to go pee. I would run across the house and find them and get them on the potty two seconds before they went. When they would ask to go to a friends for a sleepover, sometimes I would just have this alarming feeling that they shouldn't and I would tell them no. The one time I ignored it and said yes, I was proven right. I don't ignore it any more.

I just know things sometimes and for no other reason that I do.

I have to admit that I have been a lot more open to these ideas and exploring them since my daughter Emilee has started discussing them with me. You may remember my post about her dreams. The constant dreams, for almost two months my daughter had nightmares about various forms of death. She was terrified to sleep and so afraid that someone would die, someone in her family. She would come up to me and ask about the propane and how it worked or the car and how it worked. She'd ask about the probability of a plane crashing into her daycare and I had no idea what to do to help her. The very day Veronique died, the dreams stopped. Granted, I didn't realize it for awhile since I was where I was emotionally. She hasn't had another one since. She and I have also been talking about reincarnation as well. Well, she has been talking and I have been listening. But, that is for another post.

So whether it is crazy or not, I don't really care. Because my gut has been right so many times now that I don't doubt it any longer. I know when I have someone stuck in my thoughts that they probably need me and I call them and I am usually right. I know when I am suddenly worried about my daughters that something is wrong and I check on them and I am usually right. Call it psychic, call it intuition, call it fucking crazy... But I think everyone has it, just most of us choose to ignore it.

~Kate

so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 11:59 PM
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Who: katehopeeden
Where: San Antonio, Texas Yeah, so I am all that you see here. I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty... sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends. I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am. Want to know more?
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