Friday, September 23, 2005
Rita - you suck ass
[Disclaimer: Sorry, I am probably just pissy because I had this thing with this guy friend tonight and I didn't get to go because of all of this insanity and damn it I need to get out and do something. :( So please refrain from sending me any emails that start with "Dear Insensitive Bitch"]

Oh my fucking God, it is crazy as hell here right now. Everyone and their grandmother's dog is coming into town to avoid Rita. This is fine with us, since we are Southern and hospitality is our thing... but geeeez, calm the fuck down.
I had to go to Wal-Mart on my way home to pick up a few things... like milk and popcorn... There were hundreds of people in that store. And that's cool, you know, if you feel like stocking up on supplies like it is Y2K all over again - have at it. But fuck, can't they have aisles specifically for the paranoid people?
"Attention Wal-Mart shoppers. First of all, we would like to thank you for not taking your meds today. If you are buying things like gas cans, oil lanterns, excessive amounts of toilet paper, flashlights, batteries, twinkies, coolers, etc. Please take your items to aisles twelve through twenty five. Don't worry, The Man can't see you on those aisles. If you are here to just pick up your regular groceries, please go to aisles one through twelve. Thank you and have a nice day."
See! Now that would be organized. Let the paranoid crazies all check out on one side of the store. And for that matter, put the crabby I-hate-the-fucking-world employees over there too. The customers and cashiers can look at each other with shifty eyes and the normal people can go about their days.
And FUCK YOU if you are filling up fifteen god damned gas cans ok? You are the reason that the stations are running out of gas! If you would just wait and fill up when you need it instead of stocking up like we are going to war, then there would be enough for every one. That is just bull shit. I mean, I get that you are all screwed up in the head, but at least let those of us who just need a half of a tank go first. I should not, I repeat, should not have to wait twenty minutes to top off my tank. Just like you shouldn't have rights to the damn pump for fifteen minutes when there is a line.
You know what I am going to do if the damn city runs out of gas? Stay home. That's right. I am going to pop some popcorn and watch some tv and enjoy the fact that I have a valid reason to blow off work. Or, and bare with me because I know that this is hard to understand, I am going to car pool. That's right. That's when you put more than just yourself in your god damned Excursion and drive places. I am not going to go out to my warehouse where I keep my surplus of gas cans and toilet paper and load my twenty five gallon tank up and go for a cruise.
And the screwed up thing is that Rita has moved. Yup, now it doesn't even look like it will rain here. All the freaking out will have been for naught. It was over a hundred fucking degrees today... has been every day this week. And this bitch of a storm is looming out there and we won't even get a drop of rain from it. We will get all the crazy people from the coastal cities who are sucking the stock out of Wal-Mart, but no rain.

I hope it has all died down by next week.
so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 1:20 AM
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