Not because I can't add but rather because I added the wrong numbers.
Which makes me blonde or something ;)
*What the fuck is she talking about?*
Keep your shorts on.
Uhhhh... or.. take them off...
You know, if your a dude and hot and stuff.
You know who you are...
;)
Anyway, I am in a period of adjustment.
And reflection.
And other deep stuff.
Yeah.
What?
Are you saying I'm not deep?
Cuz I am deep.
Or, maybe I am stalling...
Maybe I am stalling because the truth about my "Big Change" isn't nearly as exciting as the guesses I've been receiving via email.
Geez.
I mean, how can I compete with:
"You are adopting a child from Nambia and naming him Matty McHotty"
or
"I guess you're some kind of alien? and coming out of your shell? You can see X-ray?"
Or my personal favorite, "You have Matthew McConaughey tied up... and you took naked pics and are posting them online!!"
Dude, if I had even the opportunity to take those pics, you wouldn't be hearing anything from me for a long ass time.
To add to the Matthew McConaughey file were jewels such as:
"You're having McConaughotty's baby!"
*sigh*
"You've been arrested for stalking MM!"
What is it that Snow said?
Oh yeah, "First rule about Stalkers School: You don't talk about Stalker School!"
"You finally figured out where Matty lives!"
See above.
Some others:
"I think your upcoming Big Change is that you're going to cut off your hair and go with a super-short style. (And if you do, you better send it off to Locks of Love!!!)"
Not just no, but HELL NO.
"You're getting married????
to a girl????
moving???
adopting a kid????
giving a kid up for adoption???
having a sex change????"
"Are you buying a house or switching Jobs???"
"You’re getting married..."
"You're secretly married..."
"You're engaged to some secret guy you've never mentioned on your blog."
"You're in love! You'd better tell us who he is!"
"You're moving to the beach!"
LOTS of "marriage" and "secret boyfriends" and "moving" guesses, more than I care to list..
*sniff sniff*
It's like ya'll don't even know me.
"Married"??
For fuck's sake?
And give up all this?
*gestures wildly around empty room, dust settling on the bed*
Ok, shut up.
I am not getting married.
Good God.
I am in no hurry to jump into that lane of traffic.
[disclaimer: no offense to all my happily married readers]
I sort of prefer my sidewalk over here.
Where it's safe and stuff.
Plus, DO YOU GUYS EVEN READ MY BLOG?
Do you see any dudes on here?
Do I SOUND like someone who is getting laid reguarly?
Huh?
Do I?
Fuck.
hehehehe
Um... yeah.
Anyway, so the point of all this?
I have to wait a few more days to reveal the whole long story.
But, I am not getting married.
And MM still
So, keep the guesses coming and I promise I will reveal all very soon.
