Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Why I need to slow down: The Jones Fracture
I've gotten a ton of emails asking how in the hell I managed to break my stupid foot.
It's really not a great story... I was in a super hurry (as I almost always am) and I was wearing these CUTE shoes. I can't find a picture of them but they are kind of like platforms.. except not hooker shoes... They have about a 2.5 inch platform on the back and about a two inch platform on the front. The entire base of the shoe has gorgeous purple and green flowers on it and then the top had just a red leather knot across the toes and an ankle buckle. They match perfectly with my wide leg green slacks.
Anyway, I wear these about every two weeks and I've only ever almost fell in them once before.
So, I am in a super hurry picking Amanda up from advanced Art on Thursday. The reason I am in a super hurry? Yeah, I was TOTALLY flirting with the new guy and the time got away from me and before I knew it, I was ten minutes late leaving. This is a big deal because I was coming back to have dinner with Rico Suave, his girlfriend and another co-worker before we went to a seminar. And that was a big deal because we were going to Olive Garden and I fucking love Olive Garden.
So after I get Amanda and am walking out of the school, Trin's teacher stops me to talk for a few minutes which puts me even further behind schedule. I tell her I am in a super hurry and can we talk next week. She says sure and then I walk out the front doors and as if to emphasize that I am in a super hurry, I walk very quickly.
For about ten steps.Then I eat shit.
I rolled my left ankle and since my cute shoes had zero ankle support, I could correct it. And since I was walking very fast, I fell down very fast. And hard. Landing on the outside of my foot before propelling forward and scraping the top of my other foot. My phone landed fifteen to twenty feet away in (thankfully) the grass.
I immediately stood up because that is what you do when you fall down so you can lessen the amount of people who see you. Right next to me there was stone pillar and I leaned up against that and told Amanda (who looked like she had just seen a ghost, I would later learn that I had just eaten shit in front of the boy she has a crush on) to go grab my phone while I composed myself.
It took me all of about 2.3 seconds to realize that I had absolutely broken my foot.
The dead give away would me the protruding bump in my skin and the rapid swelling.
I had Amanda help me get to the car which I am so glad I parked right in front of the school instead of in the parking lot thirty feet away. And as soon as I was in the car, it took everything I had not to cry. Instead, I started making phone calls.
1. Co-worker to find out where I could go with our insurance.
2. The Cake Lady to meet me at the gas station since I was almost out of gas and couldn't get out of the car.
3. The daycare to let them know I was dropping Amanda off and not coming in and that I might have Fairy pick up the girls.
4. Noah to let him know what was going on and set up how we would get the girls home.
5. Snow since she had inadvertently been called in the midst of the accident and was wondering what the hell was going on.
6. Fairy to let her know what was going on.
After the calls I was parked in the parking lot of the Urgent Care place trying to decide if I could walk in or not. The answer would be: not. I took one step on my broken foot and all the tears I had so gallantly held in came out. So there I am crying from pain and frustration and standing next to my van trying to figure out how the hell I will get my ass in there. I decided to google their number on my phone but my hands were shaking so badly that I couldn't even type it into my phone when this lady walks out. I call her and ask her to please go inside and get someone for me which she thankfully does.
I am wheeled directly from the car to the x-ray room and then three x-rays later, to the patient room. Before I am even out of the wheelchair, the doctor is there telling me to lay on my stomach because it is broken. They wrap it, give me some crutches and a copy of my x-rays on cd and then a shot of demorhal in the ass and send me into the waiting room. The whole thing couldn't have taken more than an hour.
I am going in this afternoon for my cast.

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so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 7:15 AM
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