I'm sure not many of you noticed the comment left by Eek under the post about the decisions I had made. However, I did and sent him an email today about it.
The comment was:
I'm with the horoscope on this one. The "I can't get together with him because he's too much of a friend" is in my opinion chicken and NASTY. It is a receipe for causing pain - you'll be subconsciously sending positive signals no matter what you do, which is likely to make him fall in love, and then you're going to spurn him for another and either keep him in pain or break the friendship ANYWAY.
Bad behaviour. Nasty Kate.
--Posted by Eek to Lots of craziness at 3/12/2005 08:50:24 AM
Well, I was surprised that he thought so seeing as most of you [friends and readers alike] have quite the opposite opinion in regards to Mr. I. So I wrote to Eek and asked him about his comment. I also told him about the type of relationship that Mr. I and I have by linking him to the post I wrote about him.
His response?
"Drop the friendship. Seriously. You need to drop the friendship at least long enough to get your feelings under control. Redirect your attention elsewhere... Hard, brutal advice: Break, break, break. :-( Not for his feelings - he's in a situation where he almost certainly will be OK - but for yours."
This is advice I can literally give myself and yet I am in capable of taking it. Of course, I never in a million fucking years would have thought I'd still be pining over him nine months later. Nine... Not like me... I don't normally have a crush that lasts more than a few weeks, a month tops. Normally once I land the guy, I lose interest or something about them starts to drive me CRAZY...
Don't believe it? Call Tempest, she can certainly assure you that I am a chaser. I like the thrill of catching the guy, all of the glances and the games and wondering if he likes me... The chemistry you have in the initial stages of that chase where you can practically feel the electricity between the two of you, the butterflies and the anticipation. Then once the initial stages have past, sometimes the very next day, I am done. My realization that I am no longer into them usually happens about two nano-seconds after they tell me that they have feelings for me.
So maybe Mr. I is my karmic pittance for the guys I have left high and dry after they tell me that they love me/ have feelings for me/ want to move in together... In my defense, I never meant to hurt anyone. I really never know that I am going to lose interest until it happens, I am just as surprised as they are because I truly dig them right up until I don't. I feel bad for hurting any feelings but ultimately figure that if I lose interest then it's probably better that it happens sooner rather than later.
Am I picky? If you had asked me two years ago, I would have said no. That I was basically looking for someone who would love me and my girls. However, that is a very broad statement and it isn't true. The fact of the matter is that I am just as happy being single as I imagine I would be in a good relationship. I am not in any huge hurry to settle down because whomever I end up settling down with... well, it has to be virtually perfect.
I love Mr. I. I know that is probably not the best thing for me given the situation but I can't help it. Nor can I end my friendship with him. So, I am at an impasse. I can either leave the friendship altogether or continue the friendship and check my feelings at the door. When given the choice, I choose the latter. I would rather still have him in my life in a 'friends only' kind of way than not at all. Does it change the fact that I feel the way I do? Nope. I still think about him a hundred times a day. I still smile when he calls and I still feel this unbelievable love for him. I just can't do anything about it. The World's way of teaching me restraint? lol
Anyway, I wanted to thank Eek for his advice and the time and effort he put into reading my e-mails and posts regarding this subject. By the way, ya'll go check out his site 'They'll all fall'...
~Kate
Who: katehopeeden
Where: San Antonio, Texas Yeah, so I am all that you see here. I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty... sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends. I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am. Want to know more?
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Yoda
Hot Toddy
Finding Liz
The Adorable DB
Tux Baby
Malcolm (he'll be back)
They'll All Fall
we grabbed the lion
Red Hot Sexy Papa
Snow
dooce
Madi (my stalker)
Did I miss you?
Do you feel left out and sad?
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Kate looks good in a skirt…
things I have decided...
my wrinkled shirt and Bruce
yeah, what they say
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Basketball games and pony tails...
Howdy folks :)
poker night
I'm a dumbass...
Kate looks good in a skirt…
things I have decided...
my wrinkled shirt and Bruce
yeah, what they say
Monster.
Basketball games and pony tails...
Howdy folks :)
Childhood Memories
My Mother
The Story of AZ
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The Beginning Of NY
The man from my dreams
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Growing and Changing
Learning to Cope
These are a work in progress. They are in the right order, but more will fill in the blank spaces in time as I write them.
"I just got done reading the history lessons on your blog (yes, I've been lurking on your blog). All the respect I had for you...has increased, like, tenfold. I don't think I could have done it. To go through what you have and not only still be able to discuss it with such wit and poise, but also to raise those three gorgeous girls. You are truly an inspiration. You are honestly one of the strongest people I have ever known, either online or IRL. Thank you so much." -Stef
My Mother
The Story of AZ
The Time In Between
The Beginning Of NY
The man from my dreams
The End Of NY
Growing and Changing
Learning to Cope
These are a work in progress. They are in the right order, but more will fill in the blank spaces in time as I write them.
"I just got done reading the history lessons on your blog (yes, I've been lurking on your blog). All the respect I had for you...has increased, like, tenfold. I don't think I could have done it. To go through what you have and not only still be able to discuss it with such wit and poise, but also to raise those three gorgeous girls. You are truly an inspiration. You are honestly one of the strongest people I have ever known, either online or IRL. Thank you so much." -Stef
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That cracked my shit up! TM
Kate went to Dallas?
You asked Kate questions?
Kate was stung by a Scorpion?
Kate met Mr. I?
Kate got pissed?
There was a mouse?
Kate shared?
Kate confessed?
Kate turned 25?
Kate shared some more?
"There are some of us out here who are living vicariously through you, okay?! So for god's sake, let us have some fun and excitement!" -Educated Liberal
Kate went to Dallas?
You asked Kate questions?
Kate was stung by a Scorpion?
Kate met Mr. I?
Kate got pissed?
There was a mouse?
Kate shared?
Kate confessed?
Kate turned 25?
Kate shared some more?
"There are some of us out here who are living vicariously through you, okay?! So for god's sake, let us have some fun and excitement!" -Educated Liberal
