Aren't ya glad it's Friday?
So, wanna know why your favorite blogger is a fucking idiot? Well, sit back.. grab a snack and some coffee and get ready to feel that embarrassed feeling that you feel at kareoke night when your friend makes a complete ass out of her [him] self.
So last night, I am laying in bed... sleeping like.. well, like me. Anyway, my cell phone apparently rang. I have no actual memory of answering it. By the time my semi-conscious self caught up with my already functioning (on it's own) brain, I was mid-conversation and wondering what the hell was going on. I heard myself apologizing to Mr. I for not returning his call. I then heard myself turn into a chic and proceed to do typical chic things. This I started by whining. Let me clarify for you that I do not normally whine. I may share what has been going on in my life, but whine? I don't fucking think so. Apparently, whining is my thing when I am half awake and my subconscious has taken over the control of my brain.
So, first humiliating thing? I whine. Second? I look for positive reassurance... That's right folks, I went fishing. I went fishing for compliments and set him up to where he had no other choice but to say nice things about me. AGAIN, let me clarify, I generally do not need positive reassurance, I am supposed to be secure in myself. At least I was the last time I checked. I said things I can't even repeat here because I am ashamed of them. I am NOT one of those Do you think I am pretty? Do you think I look fat? Do you think I am smart? Why doesn't anyone love me? chics. I. Am. Not.
Then I let him. I let him sit there and make me feel better. Bare in mind that I didn't even realize I felt bad to begin with. I was fine yesterday. But then give my subconscious twenty fucking minutes of playtime and I am little-miss-needs-a-therapist. God knows how he sat there and let me be pathetic for so long. His eyes were probably stuck in the top of his head from the amount of eye-rolling that went on.
And the most fucked up thing about all of this? It never even occurred to me that it was wrong until this morning. You know that feeling? When you wake up and your first thought is oh no. Your head pops up off of your pillow and you realize that you did something stupid. Usually this type of thing happens after you have been out drinking. I am cool enough to pull it off sans alcohol.
So what did I do? I called him and apologized. Not in an overbearing way, but in a hey I am sorry I whined all over you last night way. To which of course, he had to say 'no problem, it's ok'...
Remind me to turn my ringer off before going to bed from now on.
~Kate
Labels: Being a Chic, Mr. I, My pathetic excuse for a love life
