Lots of craziness: cookie swap

Saturday, December 24, 2005

cookie swap

You clicked on the link to get here and then saw the entire page was one post huh? So you scrolled down... and down... and down and said holy fuck to yourself didn't you? Yes. Holy fuck is about right. This is going to be a long post, so go get your coffee or tea or whatever it is that you drink. And smoke 'em if you got 'em.
So, Thursday night was the annual Cookie Swap. Every year, I join a group of women (most of whom I only see when we get together for this) and we all exchange cookies. Whenever anyone has ever asked me why, I always just tell them it is our excuse to get together in a bar and have some fun. It's one of the many traditions I have picked up and it is definitely one of my favorites.
Early in December, Paula starts calling everyone to get a feel for how many people will be going. We set a date and then take a final count about a week before hand. We have had years where twenty women have come and we have had years where there are only six of us. The gist of it is that every body brings a dozen cookies for every one else. So, you come with twelve dozen of the same cookie, but you leave with twelve dozen different cookies. It is one of the few nights of the year that I go out and just have an absolute blast.
Last night was no exception. I came home and finished making my "snack" that we bring so there is something for every one to munch on. I had considered just wearing what I had worn to work, but at the last minute, I hopped in the shower and changed. I got myself pretty sluttied up considering how I normally dress. Think: short blue jean skirt, low cut top, my hooker boots (as crazysilver likes to call them), make-up and jewelry.
We were having the Cookie Swap at a bar that we hadn't had it at before. Now, typically we have these on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday nights. We try to avoid the insane crowds on Friday and the weekend. So, we decided on the 22nd (Thursday) and everything was set. What we hadn't banked on was that this particular bar has karaoke on Thursdays which draws a pretty big crowd for this little tiny part of the world. So, what is normally a smallish gathering with maybe a half a dozen regulars sitting at the bar and us was completely different. The place was packed.
Early on in the evening, The Cake Lady and I went to the restroom and I did my patented 'Man Scan' on the way back...
It was all beep.....beep.... beep.... a little to the left and beep... beep... beep.. beep.. a little more to the left and beepbeepbeepbeep. Two guys were standing at the bar. The one on the left was what you almost always see down here: tall, twenty something, cowboy hat, skin tight shirt showing his tribal arm tattoo, wranglers and boots. Nope. However, standing next to him was another twenty something, this one was much different. Blue button up dress shirt, regular jeans, longer brown hair, really sweet eyes. I watched him for a minute or two to see if he was with anyone before I went and sat back down.
The problem here was that I was expected to socialize with all the ladies who had come so I put the cute guy out of my mind and just hung out. When we swapped out cookies, one of the ladies there, easily in her fifties, went out to her truck to get a couple of bags for people to put their cookies into. She handed all but one of the big brown paper sacks out and then looked at me and said "I am keeping this one in case I get drunk and take some ugly guy home. I can just put it over his head."
Around 10:30, I thought I would go ahead and head home. The Cookie Ladies were dwindling. So, I closed out my tab and took all of my stuff out to the car and then came back in to say good night to Paula. She had different plans for me. Starting with buying me a drink and giving me a shot of the Hot Damn she had brought with her. I laughed when she offered it to me and nodded in the direction of the cute guy (whom I had spotted again when I got to the bar), "I'd like to give him a shot of Hot Damn," I told her. (You really had to be there for it to sound as dirty as it sounded. Inflection.) And I'll be damned if she didn't turn around and walk over to him, leaving me standing there going oh shit.
I have no idea what she said to him, I just saw him take the shot and walk back over with her. It was all very How I Met Your Mother, when NPH is always walking up to chics and saying "Have you met Ted?" and then walking off leaving Ted to fend for himself. I just remembered thinking isn't this guy too cute to be talking to me? Apparently not, because not only was he talking to me, he seemed to enjoy it. I was tickled pink. Anyway, he asks me if I have plans after the bar closed and I told him I didn't. He asked if I'd like to go back to his place when the bar closed in thirty minutes and I said yep. (I was at 116 days and counting, remember?)
Several things happened in that thirty minutes:
*I found out he knew my mom. She used to bartend at that bar and as it happened, he was frequenting it at that time.
*A guy that used to work for my landlord and who still works on my mother's truck came up and threw his arms around Paula and I. When Paula introduced him to me he said "Hi Kate... you're HOT." He proceeded to remind of that three times and then popped me on the ass when he left. Yup, lovely.
*Cute guy became The Teacher. Turns out he is finishing up school this semester. I believe he said he was going to teach middle school Science and Math or was it History? Either way, nice. I'll admit that my initial intentions for Teacher were very short term. At first, I thought he was gorgeous and then he was nice as well. I was on a One Night Stand course and he seemed perfect.
*When I told Paula I was leaving with Teacher, she proceeded to let him know how important I was to her, lol. I half expected her to give me a curfew.
So, I followed Teacher to his pad which thankfully was only a few miles from the bar, making it like five miles from my house. He had grabbed one of those silver pail things from the bar loaded with the triple blacks I was drinking and the Bud (I think) that he was drinking. We get to his place and I was greeted by this albino donkey (you thought I was joking until you clicked that link huh?) and two small dogs. I am pretty sure everything had a name, but all I can remember is that the cat's name was Phil and only because I kept thinking what a strange name for a cat.
Ok, get this, we get inside and he is going to put some music on. He asks what I like and I of course throw out the Matchbox Twenty. (To this day, I have only met one guy who liked MB20 and kept them on hand.) He didn't have any, so on a whim, I said Coldplay and I'll be damned if he didn't go out to his car and grab his Coldplay cd. That was the first of many things that he did that made me question exactly how much of a One Night Stand I was wanting to make this guy into. His book collection, for example, was impressive. But, the thing that ended up pushing me over the line was when he told me he wrote children's books and then brought a couple out. I am sitting there thinking to myself how is it that this guy only lives five miles from me and we have never met. He is adorable, completely sweet, listens to great music (we ventured off into other cds as the night progressed), smart, we talked about authors and books and wow. Just wow.
The glitch, because there always is one, is that I had neglected to mention the fact that I am a mom. I know, you are totally scratching your heads going "what?" I don't normally do that. But, again, I was thinking One Night Stand, not Possible Dating Potential. Then, the further into the night it got, the harder it was to work it into the conversation. At one point, he was looking at my charm bracelet and he was naming off the charms and he got to my mom charm and he said 'mom' but then kept going. Anyway, totally my fault.
So, I am skipping all the dirty details. Use your imaginations people. Lord knows I had been using mine for a while now :P The thing was though that I had to be home by six because my girls had school this morning. Kind of hard to tell him I had to be some where at six when I had already said I didn't have to work the next morning. I managed to wriggle out of his bed and get myself dressed. The only problem was that I knew he had a lock on his gate and I didn't want to get out there and be stuck. I got him to wake up enough to tell me that the gate wasn't locked. I was hoping he would wake up all the way so I could tell him about my girls. I just felt like I had been lying to him all night.
Then I am standing there with my stuff thinking what the fuck am I supposed to do? I mean, had this guy not been as kick ass as he was, I would have split and not left my number or anything. But, he had been incredibly cool. Suddenly, the One Night Stand rules of leaving without leaving your number or anything weren't sounding so hot. At the same time, what if he was following the ONS rules? If I left my number, then do I suddenly look like the-chic-who-didn't-know-it-was-a-ONS?
I thought fuck it. He knows my name, I am pretty sure that he knows where I work and at least one or two people who know who I am, if he wants to look me up, he can. I get out to my car and then reconsider. What if by not leaving my number he doesn't think I want him to call. Yes, guys, this IS what goes on in our heads. I. shit. you. not. A constant stream of second guessing our first thoughts. It does suck.
In the end, I opted to leave my number. I wanted to hear from him again. So, I grab one of my business cards from my purse and write my cell phone number on the back and then went back in and stuck it to his fridge. Thank the gods for magnets because I had no fucking clue where one leaves a number when they are splitting in the middle of the night. (The Bachelor laughed his ass off at me today when I retold this story by the way and Tempest said she couldn't believe I left a business card.)
So I left.
Now, earlier in the night when I had been snapping pics of him with my camera (which you can see on my flickr page if you are so inclined... you know you want to, lol) he had suggested I get a flickr account. I told him I already had one and he asked me what my screen name was, I told him and he said something to the effect of that I should write that down for him before I left. So, I thought there was no way he would remember it.
At one something today, I get an email saying that he has added me as a contact. Which was cool because it meant he looked me up, but not cool too because then he finds out about the girls in a way other than my telling him.
So, I sent him an email and told him that I was impressed he had remembered my screen name and that in finding my flickr account, he now had my blog and also the knowledge that I have three girls. I told him of my ONS intentions and that the more I had talked to him, the more interested I had become. I also said that since I had withheld the info about being a mom that I would understand if he wasn't interested and that it would be cool. And I sent him my email address and my phone number and now the ball is in his court.
Anyway, I had fun. He was very cool and I have had one of those lovely permagrin things today.

so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 12:25 AM
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Who: katehopeeden
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