Thursday, April 20, 2006
Did someone say 'sex'?
Ok, so the Oh My God, You So Totally Rock award goes to The Bear and The Big D. (You don't have to click those because these men never update their blogs! -ahem- but that is to be over looked because...)
Why does the award go to them?
Ahhh, yes, that is a good question.
It is because these two kick ass men assembled not only the trampoline but also the enclosure. Sadly the entire event took them less time than my initial attempt (and failure) took me. I gave them beer to slow them down but they just went faster.
When they got there, I started to tell them the story of my trampoline assembling and The Bear just looks over at me and says "oh, I know, I read it on your blog."
I tried to help as much as possible because I didn't want to be that girl just standing there watching and not helping but it wasn't until they needed someone to actually be on the trampoline that I was called in.
And let me tell you, having now seen how one is assembled and how many pieces you can omit what they are made out of, they are way less safe looking.
I was remembering being a kid and bouncing all carefree like on them back in the day before enclosures and I just want to go back in time and grab the Little Girl Kate and shake her... Just shake her and say "don't you know how dangerous these are Little Kate? You could break your neck!" It even says so, several times on the directions "Do not do somersaults, do not land on head or neck - could result in death."
Yup people, those are the toys I get the girls, the kind that say "could result in death" on them. Mother of The Year Award: here I come!
Surprisingly enough, it wasn't the actual assembly that was hard for me. Nope. It was trying not to crack dirty jokes every 2.7 seconds.
You see, trampoline instructions are just sexual innuendos start to finish. Some little pervert is over in China just yukking it up and writing suggestive directions.
Jiffinner is used to my giggling when someone says "well that would depend on your position" in a conference call.
Her husband?
Not so much.
He actually said at one point "oh, here's that nut I lost..."
Uh huh.
And I was just a mess trying not to laugh at every "pole," "nob," "nut" & "ball" mentioned in the directions. And then, when you have to slide the blue plastic tube thingys over the pole?
I can't help it.
No. You know what? I betcha it's totally normal. I bet I'm supposed to be laughing.
You know why?
I'll tell you why.
No. Sex. This. Whole. Year.
Ok, I just went back into archived email and posts to try and find the last time I even had sex and I couldn't find it.
That is soooo sad.
So, we'll just say since the beginning of the year which is... 110 days.
I think that is longer than the last time...
Stupid sex.


So, the trampoline is up and actually kind of fun. I bounced on it a little yesterday despite the obvious fact that it is indeed a Death Trap. Couldn't get all crazy since I had only drank three beers there were other grownups there who could laugh and mock me later. I wanted to go back out last night after the girls were in bed, but there was a huge thunder storm and, well, I am pretty sure that you don't want to be on a giant metal trampoline when there is lightning.

Anyway, THANK YOU BEAR AND BIG D! You guys so totally rock!
so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 11:47 AM
| link to this post | 3 spoke |

Who: katehopeeden
Where: San Antonio, Texas Yeah, so I am all that you see here. I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty... sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends. I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am. Want to know more?
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12/14/84 - 1/26/05

"The most wasted day is one in which we have not laughed"

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