So we go into her bedroom and she gets this big jar of pot down and starts tearing it up on her bed. Then she says she's forgotten something in the other room and she'll be right back. At this point I realize I need to pee and I go over to the toilet set off the side of the room. It's pretty much in the open and I sit down and pee and just as I am done, three dudes walk in and sit around the bed like it's a table. I'm freaking out a little because I don't know them and I am getting off of a toilet for Pete's sake! So I sit back down kinda freaking out a little and then one of them, who is played by Jeffrey Dean Walker in my dream, notices me and completely ignoring the fact that I am sitting on the toilet starts freaking out. He starts talking about how jazzed he is that I am there and how he is so happy to see me and I am half way having a heart attack that this GORGEOUS man is so excited to see me and I am on THE EFFING TOILET and I can't figure out who the hell he is. He obviously knows me and I can't place him.
Fortunately I woke up because it was too weird.
Now let me break it down for you: I had Only Other Girl At Work on the brain when I got off work yesterday because we were working on reports together, I have no idea where the travel trailer and the pot came from, I saw Jeffrey Dean Walker in a clip for a P.S. I love you
and the whole him being excited about seeing me absolutely came from the fact that I HAVEN'T HAD A DATE IN A MILLION YEARS! I haven't even been fucking asked out.
And people? I am NOT hideous or sporting major issues.
The last dude to show interest in me was The Pilot and that was back in August and nothing even came from it.
Do you want to know how long it's been since I've had sex?
Do you??
It's ok if you don't. You can leave now and forever hold on to all of your pity for future and undoubtedly more worthy causes.
Like the starving children in Lithuania.
Or Global Warming.
Or all the gum spots on the pavement in major cities.
It's ok, I'll understand.
If you do, well read on.
FOURTEEN MONTHS! That's how long.
Yes I know, sad. Sad and pathetic. Sad and pathetic and horrifically unfair.
I can't figure it out.
Even when I am single for long periods of time, I usually still get asked out with something resembling regularity. But guys? This ponds been dry for months. MONTHS.
Let me tell you my only two possible prospects.
Today Rico Suave walks into my office and gives me my almost daily taunting about how him and his smoking hot girlfriend are having tons of truly awesome sex. When I tell him to go and find a corner to suffer and die in, he says that his smoking hot girlfriend and he were talking about setting me up. I perk up a little at the thought of a dude until he tells me it is his smoking hot girlfriend's roommate. Who I've met. Who is like 60. Thoroughly appalled I threaten Rico Suave's life and he runs out of my office saying something about how some chics are into that and he was just checking.
Now on the more probable although similarly unlikely given my luck lately side, one of the sub contractor teams I work with is a husband/wife team and I was talking to the wife the other day and she mentions that they've recently hired a guy who moved here from Dallas. (That has to be a run-on sentence.) Seems he and his wife divorced not too long ago and he's moved here for a fresh start. He has a daughter too. So she says that she mentioned to her husband that they should set him up with someone and 'what about Kate?' So her husband tells her that I am "just the cutest thing" and he thinks its a good idea. So her sneaky little plan is to send him up here with some papers for me to sign so I can scope him out and then if I am interested, set us up :)
But I am not getting excited.
Not at all.
Because he is probably an issue ridden troll.
So no getting excited.
...Ok maybe a little excited.
