Thursday, March 16, 2006
"Lonely Arms Day"
On a message board I frequent for single parents, we refer to that lonely, crappy, blatantly single for too long, depressed feeling as a "Lonely Arms Day." You have probably seen The Girl or Liz or Tuxbaby mention having one on their blog.
It's just one of those days where you find yourself staring out the window instead of working. One of those days where you go home and watch Under The Tuscan Sky and try to grab some of her independence or remind yourself that good things are supposed to come to those that wait. It's that inbetween time when you aren't broken hearted from the last relationship ending and there aren't any prospects on the horizon. It's just you. It's so much you and not even a glimpse of another in the foreseeable future that it aches a little. The books or plants or projects or friends, none of them really fill the void that has somehow managed to open up just a little wider and remind you that you are lonely.
I can go months, a year once, without dating any one and 99% of that time, I am happy. I am content with my children, my friends, my books, my writing, my ideas and plans, (more recently) my plants, my music... basically, my life. I get up everyday and I live. I don't think I am incomplete because I am single. In fact, I think that being single has helped me so much in becoming a complete person. Not having someone to fall back on has forced me in so many ways to make big decisions about things going on in my life and more importantly about what kind of person I want to be. There is no one here to share the blame or reward so I have to take those calls seriously.
But, sometimes, you wake up and miss having someone's arm around you. You miss morning coffee talks and that kiss goodbye before you both go to work. You miss that random phone call in the middle of the day from one to the other reminding them to pick up milk on their way home and the short 'I love you' before you hang up and go back to work. You miss the dinner ritual and the rehashing of each others day. You miss the chitchat or the plans or the picking of tv shows. You miss the looks that only you can give each other because only you really know each other like that. You miss the going to bed and the small talk as you are getting ready to turn off the lights. And you miss, of course, that same arm going around you as you go to sleep.
99% of the time, I don't really need all of that.
99% of the time.
But, the last few days have been the 1%.
so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 8:17 AM
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Who: katehopeeden
Where: San Antonio, Texas Yeah, so I am all that you see here. I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty... sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends. I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am. Want to know more?
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12/14/84 - 1/26/05

"The most wasted day is one in which we have not laughed"

"Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you might miss it."

"Guys are like stars, there's a million of them out there but only one of them can make your dreams come true." "Don't spend your life with someone you can live with, spend it with someone you can't live without."

"Reach for the moon, even if you miss you will still land among the stars"



Hot Toddy

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They'll All Fall

we grabbed the lion

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"I just got done reading the history lessons on your blog (yes, I've been lurking on your blog). All the respect I had for you...has increased, like, tenfold. I don't think I could have done it. To go through what you have and not only still be able to discuss it with such wit and poise, but also to raise those three gorgeous girls. You are truly an inspiration. You are honestly one of the strongest people I have ever known, either online or IRL. Thank you so much." -Stef
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