Monday, March 27, 2006
Stoned...
A few weeks ago (I can't remember if I blogged it or not), I started having these pains in my sides. Kind of like when you used to run around the gym a million times in middle school and you would get a stitch and the stupid fucktard of a gym teacher would say you shouldn't have stopped to drink some water and that you weren't breathing right. How many times do they expect you to run around the goddamn gym with out anything to drink? Like you were just supposed to be in this excellent fucking shape at thirteen years old and running around the gym for nofuckinggoodreason should be fun...
Ehhhh, anyway...
I started having these pains in my side. I had NO idea what they were and when I told The Cake Lady about them, she said that it sounded like a kidney stone. Apparently The Cake Lady had a bunch of kidney stones growing up, which made her, by default, The Kidney Stone Specialist in our building.
What baffled me though is that I felt immune to kidney stones because I drink such an insane amount of water. In my uneducated opinion, I always felt like the ten to twenty biiiig glasses of water I ingest every day kept my system so flushed out that something like a kidney stone couldn't happen to me. Apparently, I was wrong.
The pain sucked but wasn't unbearable, so I went home that Friday and got comfy on the couch and dubbed myself useless for the remainder of that weekend and by Monday, I was painfree. No major incident of passing the stone which is supposed to be like this god awful experience. The pain just went away. And since I am not fond of pain and The Cake Lady actually compared it to childbirth, I didn't question it.
Then, yesterday, my sister came in and told me that she was having pain in her side. I looked around the room and saw that between the two if us I was The Kidney Stone Specialist in the house.
me: You know, I was having pain a few weeks ago that was like that and TCL said that it sounded like a kidney stone. How much water have you been drinking?
Why would I ask her that? I mean, I am the Water Drinking Queen and I still got The Kidney Stone pain.

She thought about this for a moment.
Ruthie: I have been drinking a lot of soda since I started working at [new job]...
me: Well there you go.

Again, why? Why would I let her think that was why?
It's a very good thing I am not a doctor. I would all be talking to the cancer stricken patient...
me: You are very sick, this cancer is not curable.
patient: Oh no doctor, do you mean I am going to die?
me: I'm afraid so.... you know, you should have drank more water.

When Ruthie came home last night, I asked her how she was feeling and she said better. She said one of the chics she works with has parents that are doctors and that she hooked Ruthie up with some decent pain killers.
Oh, and she said she had cut out the soda and drank nothing but water.
Obviously she and I share the same logic.
so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 10:30 AM
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