Well, there was another thing besides the fact that my phone wasn't working: There was also a billing issue.
When I got my Blacberry back in February, I couldn't figure out how to get online or get my email.
Now, I am a pretty smart chic, so I couldn't believe that I couldn't figure it out.
Not wanting to waste hours of my life away on hold with Sprint, I figured it wasn't that big of a deal and I would just look it up online or ask about it the next time I had to call for something else. It wasn't like I could really use it anyway since I was working at Old Crappy Job Where There Is No Phone Service In The Building.
Well, the first time I couldn't get my phone to come back on, I called Sprint Blackberry Technical Support (SBTS) and got to speak to, for the first time, The Lovely Ladies in Kentucky who handle all the Treo & Blackberry technical issues.
As I have mentioned before, these ladies are awesome and we love them.
I tell the lovely SBTS chic what my phone is doing and, I shit you not, two hours later she had it fixed. So when she did her little "is there anything else I can assist you with today?" bit, I suddenly remembered that I couldn't access the internet or my email and I asked her to help me figure out why.
Another hour later, she reset my phone and it magically had internet and email icons on it's tiny Blackberry desktop.
And I was freaking out!
I told her what had just miraculously happened in front of my very eyes and she explained to me that my phone should have had those icons from day one. Apparently the person who activated my phone was supposed to have hooked me up with my internet and email and failed miserably to do so.
Then I asked her to explain to me why I had all of these "internet usage" charges on my phone when, as she now knew, I had no access to the internet at all whatsoever. She looked them up and said that she couldn't believe that they were there seeing as how I could. not. have. possibly. accessed. the. internet. with. my. phone.
Well I asked her to please make them go away to which she replied that she couldn't, Billing had to.
Then she transferred me.
To India.
[An aside: If you happen to live in India, this is nothing against you personally. However, if you are employed by Sprint, live in India, have never laid eyes on a Blackberry phone before and handle billing issues? Yeah, this is so directed at you.]
Of course, I didn't know it was India until I had been on hold for another thirty minutes.
Then I got to talk to some guy who had NO FUCKING IDEA what I was talking about.
I explained to him, just as I had the SBTS chic in Kentucky, what my issue was and the conversation went as follows:
Evil Sprint Dude in India: "Miss, I see the charges you are talking about. They are for internet usage on your phone."
Me, only slightly impatiently: "Yes sir, I know what they are for but I didn't have the internet until about an hour ago."
Evil Sprint Dude Who Likes To Make People Suffer: "Miss, all of our phones come with internet already installed. If you have these charges it is because you were using the internet."
Me, growing frustrated: "Look, I understand why the charges are there. What I am telling you is that I couldn't even access the internet with my phone until an hour ago. The person who activated it didn't turn all of my features on.
Satan Spawn Sprint Boy: "Miss, if there are charges for the internet, then you must have used the internet. If you didn't use the internet, how would there be the charges?"
[an aside: One wonders how valid your internet usage charges are on your phone hmmmmm?]
Me, taking deep breaths: "Look buddy, I understand what you are saying, I REALLY do. But the thing is, I COULDN'T USE THE INTERNET OR RECEIVE EMAILS UNTIL AN HOUR AGO. Ok, have you ever actually seen a Blackberry? Have you ever actually used one sir?"
Sprint Satan Spawn Who Is Trying To Suck Out My Life Force: "I am familiar with the device, yes."
Me, officially fuming: "Then you would know that there are icons on the desktop. One of those icons is a little globe looking thing that connects you to the internet. MY. PHONE. DID. NOT. HAVE. ONE. OF. THESE. UNTI. AN. HOUR. AGO. I could NOT access the internet in any way, shape, or form until then. Do you understand what I am saying to you?"
Totally Inept Satan Spawn Sprint Boy: "Ma'am, these charges would not be there unless you were using the internet. If you didn't use the internet, how would there be the charges?"
So I hung up on him.
Because I couldn't take it any more.
So, today, when I got a follow up call from Sprint and I explained that my issues had been resolved with my Blackberry since they had replaced it and when the lady said "is there anything else I can assist you with today?" I couldn't help it. I had to see if maybe she was the one and only person with The Power to refund me six months worth of charges that I had magically incurred.
I explain everything to her, just as I had to the SBTS chic in Kentucky and again to the Useless Indian guy and she puts me on hold for about fifteen minutes.
Which is cool, because I am at work so I just sat here and worked while listening to horrible hold music.
When she comes back on the line, she says, "Ok, I found all of the charges and I have credited your account $115.32 (which is actually $39.12 less than what I had come up with but who the hell cares? As long as it is over!).
Well, needless to say, I was practically speechless. Here she had just taken my six month old issue that I thought would never be resolved and fixed it.
I stutteringly thanked her and then felt the need to make sure she actually believed me that I hadn't ran up those charges. So I am explaining to her again that I really didn't do anything to create the charges and she says, "Ma'am, I just figured, people who buy Blackberry's don't buy them so that they can just make calls and receive text messages. If your phone has been broken for six months and you could barely use it to make calls and couldn't do a thing on the internet, you deserved to have those charges reversed! Now, is there anything else I can assist you with today?"
You've restored my faith in my cellular company and given me $115 credit on my account so I'm thinking: Nope.
Labels: my crazy life, Sprint, un-fucking-believable
