Tuesday, October 30, 2007
All this Catholic Guilt
I swear to... well, whoever that the reason I even have guilt has everything to do with my mother going to Catholic school and being raised Catholic. I don't think she had any choice, she had to just riddle us with guilt when we were growing up and now I just can't help but feel like shit when I think there is even an indirect way that I had something to do with something bad happening to someone.
Yesterday at New Kickass Job, my boss fired someone.
Someone I really liked.
And he did it right after he and I had a meeting.
And even though he assured me that our meeting had nothing to do with it, I just couldn't help but think that maybe I could have said something during our meeting to sway him not to fire this person had I just known that was going to be his next thing on his to do list.
And I just keep replaying, over and over and over again the talk we had trying to think of something, anything I could have said or done to have helped this person's case.
But then I started to think about why I was doing that.
(Because I'm all into self therapy apparently and since I already knew how it "made me feel", the "why I felt that way" was next on my check list. See how I just saved like five hundred bucks?)
Anyway, I realized that I frequently feel guilty, even when I know something isn't my fault.
Even when my boss has pulled me back in to assure me that what just happened had nothing to do with me and our talk.
Even then, I still feel bad.
And so I do what everyone in therapy does (self therapy or otherwise) - I find a way to blame my mother :)

Labels: , , , ,

so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 6:16 AM
| link to this post | 2 spoke |

Who: katehopeeden
Where: San Antonio, Texas Yeah, so I am all that you see here. I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty... sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends. I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am. Want to know more?
Click here!

12/14/84 - 1/26/05

"The most wasted day is one in which we have not laughed"

"Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you might miss it."

"Guys are like stars, there's a million of them out there but only one of them can make your dreams come true." "Don't spend your life with someone you can live with, spend it with someone you can't live without."

"Reach for the moon, even if you miss you will still land among the stars"



Hot Toddy

Finding Liz

The Adorable DB

Tux Baby
Malcolm (he'll be back)

They'll All Fall

we grabbed the lion

Red Hot Sexy Papa



Madi (my stalker)

Did I miss you?
Do you feel left out and sad?
Click that link up there
and email me your blog!

Childhood Memories

My Mother

The Story of AZ

The Time In Between

The Beginning Of NY

The man from my dreams

The End Of NY

Growing and Changing

Learning to Cope

These are a work in progress. They are in the right order, but more will fill in the blank spaces in time as I write them.

"I just got done reading the history lessons on your blog (yes, I've been lurking on your blog). All the respect I had for you...has increased, like, tenfold. I don't think I could have done it. To go through what you have and not only still be able to discuss it with such wit and poise, but also to raise those three gorgeous girls. You are truly an inspiration. You are honestly one of the strongest people I have ever known, either online or IRL. Thank you so much." -Stef

katehopeeden's photos More of katehopeeden's photos

That cracked my shit up! TM

Kate went to Dallas?

You asked Kate questions?

Kate was stung by a Scorpion?

Kate met Mr. I?

Kate got pissed?

There was a mouse?

Kate shared?

Kate confessed?

Kate turned 25?

Kate shared some more?

"There are some of us out here who are living vicariously through you, okay?! So for god's sake, let us have some fun and excitement!" -Educated Liberal

"I LOVE inner monologues. They rock!"
-Hot Toddy


The Gym

Morning Monologue

RHBlogger 2nd runner

sizzling RH 05

referer referrer referers referrers http_referer