Sometimes, as a mother, you feel like that.
Sometimes you feel like you just want to get into your car and drive as far away as humanly possible as fast as your car will take you. You want to just leave behind everything and be free like you were when you were a carefree kid out playing with your friends with your little sister or brother safely at home with your mom and dad.
And on days like today, I can totally relate.
Days that start with two hour melt downs, where your emotionally exhausted by 7am when you drop your kids off at school.
Days where you spend the next eight hours feeling like the worst mother on earth.
Days where your boss's boss is there and you have the opportunity to be all awesome but all you can think about is googling new AS ideas in hopes that you can find something that will make your life just a little easier.
Days where you pick your kids up from daycare and school only to find that none of the bad attitudes from that morning have faded, in fact - they've grown into larger and more dangerous monsters.
Days where your daughter won't eat anything for dinner so when she picks up a Halloween cupcake and acts like she might eat it, you tell her to go ahead - only to see your almost eleven year old roll her eyes as she walks out of the kitchen mumbling something about how she always gets everything she wants. And your nerves are so raw that you attack her because you've got to unload on someone. And then your otehr daughter doesn't even eat the fucking cupcake.
Days where she doesn't want that apple juice in that cup because its the wrong color and she didn't actually see you pour the apple juice.
Days where you just can't even imagine surviving tomorrow if it is like today.
Those are the days when you want to drive far far far away and leave these people, these children behind and seek out that feeling of being unfettered.
But it isn't like when you left the sibling with your mother.
You ARE the mother.
Some days, even when you know its just a really bad day, being a mother sucks.
Labels: Being Mommy, family drama, my crazy life, self loathing
