Monday, October 27, 2008
Blast from the past...
As most of you know, I have been in communication with Amanda and Emilee's dad now since May. He and I wrote each other quite frequestly in May, June, July & then in August, he was released from prison. And since his release our communication has lessened considerably which I have to say surprises me. I thought that he would continue to write and email often. Maybe that is because in my mind, I felt like I was helping keep him grounded. And maybe I really wasn't... I don't know. In any case, we have emailed back and forth a few times and he asks about the girls and says he's doing ok.
Through his sister-in-law, I learned that he had been working with his brother and had been hearing that he was actually keeping his shit together so much as they could tell and I decided last week to try and get in touch with him for a call. (I'm all queen of the babysteps.) So his SIL emailed me the number to his girlfriend's place (which is apparently where he is living now) and I called. She answered and sounded super nice but apparently it was a cell phone and she was at work. She assured me she would pass the message along that I had called. This was all on Saturday night. Sunday afternoon he called me back.
Here's the weird thing, I don't get all freaked out with the butterflies in my stomach about him. I'm not nervous about talking to him. I literally had no emotion about it except that I wanted to get outside so no one would know who I was talking to.
He is so defeated. So very very very defeated. Life has just kicked him and he is staying down. I asked him how he was and he said he was ok but repeatedly said "life sucks" & the only time he seemed to perk up was when he talked about the "old days" when he & I were together. In fact, his new girlfriend and I have the same name and when he told me that I said something about how that was a little weird and he said "yeah, I make her dress up like you..."
Anyway, the reason I had called him was to ask him if he was interested in calling Amanda on her birthday (in three weeks). He said he would be and thanked me and that was pretty much it. We were on the phone for less than seven minutes.

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so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 11:43 AM
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