Wednesday, December 23, 2009
in my head, not in my head
I have a tendency to make things out to be more in my head. I have a fabulous imagination and it likes to run.
I think it's why I don't like to run. My imagination does enough running for the both of us.
So, recently, I've been trying to be more of fact girl.
Facts are good.
Facts are truth.
Facts are cold and hard.
It's hard to argue with the facts.
And that's a fact.
[Sorry, it's early and I haven't had any coffee yet. In fact, let's just make that a blanket apology for this entire post.]
So, in the past, I've often made things from this place called Reality where everyone likes to hang out just a tad more sparkly in my head. What can I say? I can put some spin on shit in my head.
And sometimes, when I'd be retelling a story about a night out with a pretty boy, I'd have to ask myself if he really said it like that or if afterwards when I was mentally putting it on paper, the wannabe author in me made it that way.
Uhm, wannabe author wins out almost every time.
I can't help it.
Reality is this very un-fairy tale like place. Boys don't always say the right thing at the right time. They hesitate and watch other chics cruise by and quite frankly these boys in Reality don't hold a candle to the guys from my sparkly imagination.
But, I did make myself stop glorifying relationships after Mr.I.
I may have let my imagination run away with me because that is how I am wired. I may have heard things I wanted to hear and not the things that were actually there and said. But now, the Reality KHE knows that to do that only leads to a lot of dissapointment.
A. Lot.
So now, I am all about the facts.
I am all about the cold hard facts.
And so while I want to take that look in someone's eye and give it this fantasy explanation, I feel like the look I see is like 3% and the words coming out of their mouth is 97%.
This is a huge step for me. This Reality thing. This words thing. This not letting my imagination run away with me thing.
It's new and tricky.
And honest.
I still give my imagination free reign to run all it wants right before I go to sleep, but during the waking hours I try and pay a little more attention to the facts.
I'm not sure it's going so well right now.
But I'm trying.

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so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 5:23 AM
| link to this post | 3 spoke |

Who: katehopeeden
Where: San Antonio, Texas Yeah, so I am all that you see here. I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty... sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends. I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am. Want to know more?
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12/14/84 - 1/26/05

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