I am not cranky.
I am not desperate.
I am not ungrateful.
I am not high maintenance.
And I am not stupid.
I happen to be a pretty smart chic.
And I am fun and even funny.
And happy.
And loyal.
And most importantly, I am honest.
I didn't go to the party with him.
The entire week leading up to the party, he barely said three words to me. I had a feeling something wasn't right... and by the end of the week, I'd heard that he had invited someone else to the party that we have on the 19th. The same party he'd already asked me to go to with him.
I was convenient.
That was all.
And he didn't take the whole "DATE" word he used a gaziliondy times seriously. To him, I am just a girl in a sea of girls with whom he could spend time with. He doesn't see me for who I am. And quite frankly, I deserve better than that. And even more franky, I won't accept less than that.
So, there was a moment of panic.
What do I do? What do I say to him? How do I get out of this night that he will ruin that I would otherwise enjoy?
Well, luckily, one of the wives didn't have a babysitter and asked if Amanda could sit for her. And since she is also pregnant, she asked if we could ride together since her husband was planning on drinking AND she is UBER pregnant and wasn't sure she would want to drive back.
To keep things civil between the boy and myself, I texted him and asked him to meet me at the co-workers house because Amanda was babysitting for them. He called back immediately and when I told him that they wanted all four of us to ride together, he flinched.
He laid some story about how he'd had a crappy week and didn't want to ride with the other couple and maybe he just wouldn't even go. I rolled my eyes and told him that it was his call. He then clicked over and said he'd really just wanted to ride with me so since he wasn't going to be able to, maybe he'd just drive himself. I told him that was stupid since he KNEW he was planning on drinking and wouldn't be fit to drive home. He then said he'd meet me over there in a half an hour.
And called back ten minutes later to say he was driving himself.
I let out a sigh of relief you could hear three states over.
I got out of it. Without confrontation. Without being a bitch.
And the thing that occurred to me lastly was that I had been about to waste an evening with someone who I NEVER would have been able to date. Do you know how often my decisions are made based around my children? Or my friends? And if dating meant I had to change that, you can keep dating.
The relationships I already have are established and treasured and I am not sacrificing them for a guy I don't know that well. You've got to bend a little to date me. Have to have some understanding in that I have this life that is like 90% booked. If you can't, I can't. It's that simple.
Now don't get me wrong, I know that there are things you have to sacrifice and choices that have to be made when you add any kind of relationship to your life. I know that when I get a new girlfriend, I am going to lose hours of time talking on the phone or going out for a drink or shopping. Hours that I would have been able to use for friends I already have or for my girls or for my family. But if I see something in that person that makes me want to have them as a friend, I am going to be willing to make those sacrifices to have them be a part of my life and to be a part of theirs.
This guy?
He wasn't worth the time because he couldn't even see me.
Labels: Being a Chic, Being Mommy, My pathetic excuse for a love life, soul sisters
