It is one of those deceiving ages that you are so excited to reach and then once you are there and all of the drama starts happening, you want to get away from it as quickly as possible.
You, much to my... (what's the word? Surprise? Dismay? Utter terror?) have just broken up with your second boyfriend. I use the word boyfriend loosely here since it doesn't really mean what you want it to mean yet... in fact sister, it may not mean what you want it to mean for a long time. And when it does finally, you may want it to mean something else entirely.
Relationships are tricky.
And they are going to stay that way for awhile.
I have always been a little afraid of the day when you would come to me and then not want my advice since, for the majority of your life, I've been single. And hey, what do I know right? I'm just your old spinster mom...
Oh the things you don't know :-)
And one day we can have a long chat if you feel so inclined but for now, I just feel like I need to remind you that I am here.
When you came home yesterday afternoon and you went straight to your room instead of poking your head into the kitchen to ask me what we are having for dinner because you are STARVING, I knew something was wrong.
I waited a few minutes to see if you would magically emerge but you didn't... even Emilee came in and asked me what was up. I decided to give you some space, after all you'd been surrounded by people all day and maybe you just needed ten minutes of time to yourself. But when I called you for dinner and you said you'd eat later, Emilee and I looked at each other and knew something was up.
Emilee, being a little sleuth, got online and started chatting with ya'll's facebook friends and in two minutes had the news. You and Gabe had broken up.
We got you out of your room but you barely ate and you didn't want to talk about it yet, just said you were sad.
It wasn't until last night when we were getting ready for bed that you told me what had happened and it wasn't until I came in to tuck you in and saw you crying in your room that I really understood the enormity of it all that you were feeling.
It's easy for us, as adults, to roll our eyes and make your one week relationship ending so small in our minds. But the reason it is easy for us is because we've experienced it as being huge. And then we experienced the next huge thing and the next and the next and before we knew it, we could look back at the first handful of boys who hurt our feelings and roll our eyes because in comparison to everything that has happened since, it is little to us. But it became that way because we experienced it and it hurt and then it hurt a little less when the next thing hurt a little more.
So, Amanda, as much as I hate to say it and as much as I hate to see you going through it, it's all necessary. You have to feel this way so that later you will know that you don't want to. And you have to "go out" with these stupid boys because that way you will learn that you don't want these traits in boys.
I hate watching you go through it all. I wish I could hand you a book and say after you read it, you will understand and you can skip all the bullshit, but the fact is - you have to experience things.
But, the promise I am making you right now is that I will be here for you every single time you get your feelings hurt and I promise to always, always remember the enormity of what you are feeling.
I love you.
~Your Mom
Labels: Amanda, Being a Chic, Being Mommy, unsolicited advice
