I am so glad that I am not thirteen.
It is one of those deceiving ages that you are so excited to reach and then once you are there and all of the drama starts happening, you want to get away from it as quickly as possible.
You, much to my... (what's the word? Surprise? Dismay? Utter terror?) have just broken up with your second boyfriend. I use the word boyfriend loosely here since it doesn't really mean what you want it to mean yet... in fact sister, it may not mean what you want it to mean for a long time. And when it does finally, you may want it to mean something else entirely.
Relationships are tricky.
And they are going to stay that way for awhile.
I have always been a little afraid of the day when you would come to me and then not want my advice since, for the majority of your life, I've been single. And hey, what do I know right? I'm just your old spinster mom...
Oh the things you don't know :-)
And one day we can have a long chat if you feel so inclined but for now, I just feel like I need to remind you that I am here.
When you came home yesterday afternoon and you went straight to your room instead of poking your head into the kitchen to ask me what we are having for dinner because you are STARVING, I knew something was wrong.
I waited a few minutes to see if you would magically emerge but you didn't... even Emilee came in and asked me what was up. I decided to give you some space, after all you'd been surrounded by people all day and maybe you just needed ten minutes of time to yourself. But when I called you for dinner and you said you'd eat later, Emilee and I looked at each other and knew something was up.
Emilee, being a little sleuth, got online and started chatting with ya'll's facebook friends and in two minutes had the news. You and Gabe had broken up.
We got you out of your room but you barely ate and you didn't want to talk about it yet, just said you were sad.
It wasn't until last night when we were getting ready for bed that you told me what had happened and it wasn't until I came in to tuck you in and saw you crying in your room that I really understood the enormity of it all that you were feeling.
It's easy for us, as adults, to roll our eyes and make your one week relationship ending so small in our minds. But the reason it is easy for us is because we've experienced it as being huge. And then we experienced the next huge thing and the next and the next and before we knew it, we could look back at the first handful of boys who hurt our feelings and roll our eyes because in comparison to everything that has happened since, it is little to us. But it became that way because we experienced it and it hurt and then it hurt a little less when the next thing hurt a little more.
So, Amanda, as much as I hate to say it and as much as I hate to see you going through it, it's all necessary. You have to feel this way so that later you will know that you don't want to. And you have to "go out" with these stupid boys because that way you will learn that you don't want these traits in boys.
I hate watching you go through it all. I wish I could hand you a book and say after you read it, you will understand and you can skip all the bullshit, but the fact is - you have to experience things.
But, the promise I am making you right now is that I will be here for you every single time you get your feelings hurt and I promise to always, always remember the enormity of what you are feeling.
I love you.
~Your Mom

Labels: Amanda, Being a Chic, Being Mommy, unsolicited advice

Hello dear reader,

I'm giving you your Christmas present early this year.

Last night when I was shopping for a new camera (because mine is all broken and sad and my flickr account is all like Kate!!! Where are you Kate?? You don't upload pictures anymore Kate!! and it makes me sad to only be taking grainy pics with my phone) on ebay, I was also pricing out Wii's (my major Santa gift for the girls this year) and I came across this thing called Microsoft Cashback.

The gist of it is that you sign up for a Microsoft Cashback Account and link it with your paypal account. When you do a search to for something on msn.com, the first sponsered result will link you to ebay with an offer to save 25% on qualified purchases.



You have to pay with paypal and 60 days later, you get 25% of the purchase back in your paypal account. It's like a paypal reward system.
I'm so digging this!!
Anyway, in case you were wondering, I bought a Nikon D40x.
My main reason was that The Cake Lady has almost the exact same camera and she is all into cameras and has had hers for like a year or two so she knows how to use it and can help me learn as I am so the point and click kinda gal :) I am so totally not smart when it comes to all the cool things that a camera can do when operated by someone who understands it's capabilities.
The things I am psyched about:
I wanted a DSLR.
I wanted great MPs and I am cool with the ten this one has.
I wanted super fast shutter speed.
I wanted to be able to add lens' (primarily telephoto for shooting pics at the girls games when I am not close but want the shot to be).
Everything else is just icing :)

Labels: Being Mommy, unsolicited advice

I have been watching you with interest since your first marriage/annulment back in... I think '03 or '04. I was never really a fan of your music, not because I thought it was bad but because I was out of my "pop" phase by the time you hit it big. It's nothing personal, I was just more brooding and rocker-girl at the time. Anyway, I found you to be intriguing because you were so young and so famous and so everywhere. When I saw a news story on you, I always paid attention to see what was going on in your life.
Then you got pregnant and I thought to myself, wow, it's going to be interesting to see what kind of mother Brittany becomes... And so I started paying more and more attention to see how you were handling it. And quite honestly, I was surprised to see that you remained in the limelight at all. I thought once you had your beautiful son that you would have sort of faded away. I guess I thought that because that is what I would have done. I would have bought a big 'ol chunk of property and secluded myself with my family and enjoyed all the stability I could provide them. I also would have left Kevin in effing California to play golf every morning and record his ridiculous record. Alone.
But unlike other mothers, you apparently were able to have the kind of parenting responsibilities that allowed you to skip that part of the bonding process that causes you to feel like you need to be the one taking care of your kids. I don't think you actually felt like you were the best person. I honestly believe that is what makes a mother, at her core - believing that they are the only person in the world who could care for their kids the way they need to be cared for.
It's sad to me that you have the kind of lifestyle that prevented you from having that. It's sad to me that you have that kind of love for your work and not your kids. And it's also sad to me that this is probably not completely your fault.
Money seeking people are fucked up and since you are surrounded by people who want to have more of your money, they aren't giving you the best advice. Which is why I am writing you this letter today.
I feel thoroughly and genuinely terrible for you. I think that you haven't been given direction and that you have repeatedly been given bad advice. And as a person who is not making any money off of you, I would like to tell you this: Buy a nice home somewhere far away from where you are now, make it a home for your boys and get rid of all of the people in your life who are influencing these decisions. Get a therapist and then start doing all of the stuff normal people do on their own on your own and put your music career on hold long enough to get a hold of your personal life. Be a mom.
There are probably thousands of mothers out there who would listen to you, help you and be there for you. Thousands of people who aren't going to be blinded by your stardom. Find those people and find yourself.
Very sincerely,
Katehopeeden

Labels: Being Mommy, unsolicited advice

Labels: community, The Universe, unsolicited advice

1. Pain.
Obviously it will hurt right? It's a bone in your body and it is broken. But let me tell you, I've had three kids - three - and breaking that tiny bone in my foot effing hurts. It hurts so much that I have been nauseous for five straight days.

2. Crutches suck ass.
Maybe when you were a little kid you envied another kid in your class that broke his leg because he got to cruise around on crutches and had a cast that he got signed and got a ton of attention. Guess what? You envied wrong. There is nothing, I repeat: nothing cool about crutches. You've went from walking around on two feet to walking around on one foot and two sticks. They're bulky, loud, wobbly, difficult to steer and basically do not even begin to compensate for the leg you were previously using.

3. Your other leg will hurt.
You'd think that your other leg would gladly step up and assume the role of its counterpart with pride and dignity. However, your other leg will only begrudgingly do the broken leg's duties. It will whine and bitch the whole time about how it isn't fair that the other leg just gets to sit around all day doing nothing while it now has to carry twice the weight. It will voice these concerns in the form of cramping up and making you feel like you have no other choice but to sit down right where you are immediately which happens to be on a curb which then makes standing back up next to impossible.

4. You can't carry ANYTHING.
Not a glass of water, a cup of coffee, papers from the printer, dirty laundry, dishes, socks! Nothing. I would rather have broken my arm and been turned into a one handed typer. When you break your foot, you lose the other leg to extra work and both hands to crutches and it sucks ass. And even if you want to just tough it out, every time you stand up to do something everyone who sees you in the hall asks why you are up because "didn't your doctor say to stay off of your foot for another week?" and then you have to proclaim that you "just want to go to the goddamned bathroom" but thank them for asking. This will seriously affect the flirting you are trying to do with the new guy.

5. On account of #4, you have to ask people to do everything for you.
Initially you will probably need help changing your clothes. Need a glass of water? Guess what? Someone else has to get it. Hungry? Someone else will have to carry your food from one place to the other. Your co-workers will start joking about how if they come into your office to ask you a question, they will receive a "honey-do" list.

6. You have to invent new ways to get in and out of the shower.
If you are like me, this will involve a precarious balancing act on the side of the bathtub. This is when you start to consider how important it is to bath daily and how feasible hiring a stunt double would be.

7. You have to start using the handicap accessibilities.
And handicap ramps are LONG. I made the mistake yesterday of thinking I could just hop up the stairs, there are only six of them after all. I cannot hop up the stairs. In fact this caused me to fall on the broken part of my foot and nearly made me throw up. However, the little motorcarts at Wally World are pretty rad and I have went shopping twice since this accident and both times I have been able to race around the store honking at those who get in my way ;)

8. You will stop needing to pee in the middle of the night.
You will stop because there is no way in hell anyone should attempt to operate crutches unless they are at full working capacity. And the amount of time and effort that goes into crutching from the bed to the potty is enough to completely wake you up and render sleeping again nearly impossible. For that reason alone you will hold it for a few extra hours. For this same reason, you will lay in bed until you are fully awake before getting up in the morning. Crutches should only be operated by someone fully awake and alert.

9. Everything takes twice as long.
Everything. Double the times in which you think you will be able to accomplish anything because you will need twice the amount of time. Fifteen minute showers are now thirty. Getting dressed in three minutes? You'll need at least six. Walking from the car to your office used take thirty seconds, now it takes three minutes. It's ridiculous. Welcome to your lesson in patience.

10. People in public do not help you.
No one opens a door for you or gets out of your way. No one picks up your crutch if you drop it on the ground. No one will offer to carry something for you or take your cart back into the store. People just don't. And I was one of those people. I always thought it would be embarrassing for the person on crutches to have you come over and help them. And I'm sure that it is. But let me tell you, if you see someone on crutches today, open the door for them. It makes their day that much easier.

Labels: At work, Being a Chic, Being Mommy, Being Retarded, community, Health, I'm a loser, My broken foot, my crazy life, My pathetic excuse for a love life, self loathing, unsolicited advice

Labels: Beach Trip, Because I Said So, Being Mommy, my crazy life, sandcastles, Snakeman, unsolicited advice

Snow, who is The Most Amazing & Awesome Chic in the world today, sent me a text last night asking me what the name of the new Matchbox Twenty song was.
I raised a confused eyebrow and sent her back a text saying that Rob Thomas hadn't called me to approve any new MB20 songs yet so she surely must be confused.
But confused she was not.
And shocked I was.
(*Ok, enough Yoda talk, lol. -- no offense Yoda! :P)
Evidentally, Rob bypassed me this time on the song approval. Surely a grevious error on his part and I'm sure he will call any second to apologize.
In the meantime, they do have a new song out! AND A NEW ALBUM COMING OUT OCTOBER SECOND!!!
And do you know what that means people?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
Another tour BABY!
And who is going to go?
Um yeah, THAT WOULD BE ME!
God, I could do a friggen cartwheel right now.
:)
So, click on this picture (below) to go their website and listen to the new song :)



ps.ALL comments today must be accompanied by your favorite MB20 lyrics or they will be deleted people. DELETED!

Labels: Matchbox Twenty, music, soul sisters, un-fucking-believable, unsolicited advice, Who do we love?

At breakfast, put coffee in your milk instead of milk in your coffee: Fill your mug to the rim with skim milk first thing in the morning. Drink it down until all that's left is the amount you'd normally add to your coffee; then pour your java on top. You just took in 25 percent of the vitamin D you need every day, and 30 percent of the calcium.

Take your vitamins every morning: Study by study, evidence is mounting that a standard multivitamin fills enough of the gaps in your diet to make a real difference. For example, a recent study at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Institute in Seattle showed that people who took a multivitamin supplement and 200 I.U. of vitamin E for 10 years were half as likely to get colon cancer.

Drink two glasses of water before every meal: This will do two things: keep you hydrated and make you eat a little less. A Dutch study showed that drinking two glasses of water can make you feel less hungry, possibly reducing your food intake and aiding weight loss.

Always order your pizza with double tomato sauce and light cheese: Men who eat a lot of tomato products tend to have less prostate cancer—probably because tomatoes are a rich source of lycopene, a type of carotenoid that's believed to cut your risk of cancer. If you double the sauce on your pizza, you get double the lycopene. Reducing the mozzarella by just one-third (you won't miss it) will save you 20 grams of fat. That's as much as in a McDonald's Quarter-Pounder.

Always order your sandwiches with double tomato slices: Another chance for a healthy dose of lycopene.

Pile onions on everything: Research has revealed that onions are so healthful—they're a top source of heart savers called flavonoids—that it's practically your duty to eat them lavishly on hot dogs, pizza, burgers, and sandwiches. And speaking of junk food...

Whenever you eat fast food, drink two glasses of water afterward: Big Macs, subs, fries, and pepperoni pizza are all loaded with fat and sodium, which can be hellish for your heart. You can't do much about the fat once you've eaten it, but you can flush away some of the excess sodium by drinking plenty of fluid afterward, says Tina Ruggiero, R.D., a New York City dietitian.

When the waitress asks what you want to drink, always say iced tea: The more we learn about tea, the more healthful it looks. A recent U.S. Department of Agriculture study found that a serving of black tea had more antioxidants—crucial to your body's defense against heart disease, cancer, and even wrinkles—than a serving of broccoli or carrots.

Have an afternoon snack every day at 3 o'clock: A nutritional boost between lunch and dinner wards off fatigue and keeps you from overindulging later, says Keith Ayoob, Ed.D., R.D., director of the nutrition clinic at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine's Rose F. Kennedy Center. Just don't scarf down a candy bar. Try yogurt and fruit, crackers and cheese, or eat an egg (hard-boiled), an apple, and a thirst-quencher like bottled water. All of these foods will give you long-lasting energy.

Always leave the skin on your fruit: If you peel apples or pears, you're throwing away heavy-duty nutrients and fiber. Same goes for potatoes. Go ahead and peel oranges, but leave as much of the fibrous white skin under the rind as you care to eat—it's loaded with flavonoids. Ditto for the white stem that runs up the middle.

Put a bottle of water in the office freezer every night before you leave work: You already know that you should drink eight glasses of water a day, but how are you supposed to do it? Fill a half-gallon bottle in the morning, and make sure you've downed it all by the time you go home. If you like your water cold and you have access to a refrigerator, fill the bottle partially the night before and stick it in the freezer. Next morning, fill it the rest of the way. You'll have ice-cold water all day.

Whenever you buy grapefruit, go for red instead of white: Remember lycopene, that stuff in tomatoes that may fight prostate cancer? It's what makes tomatoes red. And it's responsible for the color in ruby red grapefruit. (Watermelon and guava also have some.)

Eat salmon every Wednesday: Actually, the day doesn't matter; the important thing is to have it once a week. Salmon is a rich source of omega-3 fatty acids, a type of fat most experts say we don't get enough of. Omega-3s seem to keep the heart from going into failure from arrhythmia—men who eat fish once a week have fewer heart attacks—and they may even ward off depression. A weekly serving of salmon should supply the amount of omega-3 fats you need.

Always wash your meat: Here's an easy way to cut the fat content of your secret chili recipe: As soon as you finish browning the ground beef, pour it into a dish covered with a double thickness of paper towels. Then put another paper towel on top and blot the grease. If you want to remove even more fat, dump the beef into a colander and rinse it with hot (but not boiling) water. The water will wash away fat and cholesterol. Using these methods together can cut 50 percent of the meat's fat content.

Whenever you have salad, keep the dressing on the side: Here's the drill: Dip your fork in the dressing first, then spear a piece of lettuce, then eat it. Sound dumb? In fact, it's one of the smartest habits you can have. Four tablespoons of, say, honey-mustard dressing can have 60 grams of fat—nearly an entire day's worth for an average guy.

Whenever you eat broccoli, put a little margarine, olive oil, or cheese sauce on it: This is our kind of nutrition advice. Broccoli is a rich source of beta-carotene—one of the major antioxidants your body needs. But beta-carotene is fat-soluble, which means it has to hitch a ride on fat molecules to make the trip through your intestinal wall. Without a little fat in the mix, your body won't absorb nearly as much beta-carotene.

Always have seconds on vegetables: If we had to pick one food that represents the best insurance for long-term good health, vegetables would be it. Your daily goal: Three servings minimum. A serving, by the way, is ½ cup. Think of a tennis ball—it's about half a cup in volume.

Do a fat analysis before every meal: It's tempting to go fat-free at breakfast and lunch so you can indulge in a high-fat dinner. Wrong. Studies show that, for several hours after you eat a meal with 50 to 80 grams of fat, your blood vessels are less elastic and your blood-clotting factors rise dramatically. William Castelli, M.D., director of the Framingham Cardiovascular Institute, says, "The immediate cause of most heart attacks is the last fatty meal." Spread your fat intake over the whole day.

Always eat (a little) dessert: Here's why: Sweets such as cookies and low-fat ice-cream bars signal your brain that the meal is over. Without them, you might not feel satiated - which might leave you prowling the kitchen all night for something to satisfy your sugar jones.

Eat a bowl of dry cereal every night before you go to bed: A low-fat, low-calorie carbohydrate snack eaten 30 minutes before bed will help make you sleepy, says Judith Wurtman, Ph.D., of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. The nutrition bonus? Cereal is one of the easiest ways to reduce your fiber deficit. (Most men eat only half the 25 to 35 grams of fiber they need daily.) So pick a cereal that has at least 5 grams of fiber per serving.

Taken from here.

Also check out "Getting Skinny at Work"

Labels: Health, unsolicited advice