What is going to change?
I will be thirty this year... Amanda will turn fourteen, Emilee will turn twelve and Triniti will turn eight.
Today I got to hold my boss and his wife's new little baby boy. They let me keep him while they left for lunch and for a blissful hour I got to smell his little head and watch the faces he made in that state of half awake, half asleep that two week old babies are prone the staying in.
I remember the girl that was pregnant eight years ago. I remember that Christmas when he burned all of the cards and it didn't even matter any more because everything was over anyway. I remember packing and leaving and being this girl who was alone and scared with little girls who were about to start school for the very first time. That girl didn't know the answers.
This girl doesn't know them either. But this girl, this almost thirty year old girl? She's got faith in herself.
Faith that there will be good choices and smiling and enjoying my girls and plans and friendships and sometimes it will be hard but this girl is happy.
And this girl doesn't plan on that changing anytime soon.
Labels: Being a Chic, Being Mommy, my crazy life
