"Being single is kind of a struggle between loneliness and euphoria. Loneliness right before you go to bed at night and euphoria the whole rest of the day." -Ted Alexandro
Yup... I have just finished half a bottle of wine while chatting with Liz :) And not those tiny little bottles of wine either, the big ass bottle... I don't know how big... I could go look... but I am thinking no... anyway she and I were emailing earlier and scheduled a phone call and some wine for this evening. You see, Liz and I have very similar love lives... or lack thereof really. So, we agreed to grab our respective bottles of Blackberry Merlot (courtesy of Wild Vines) and our phones for a long talk.
A few hours later, yours truly has a nice buzz and a little more perspective. Perspective is good but sadly has very little influence on how we feel. And I haven't been feeling my hottest lately.
I don't hold a thing back when it comes to writing here, to sharing my life on this blog but I will keep from being utterly repetitive. I don't like to bitch and moan on a regular basis about the same problem because there is only so much you can say about the same thing before it just gets old and annoying.
Despite my disdain for the redundant, I started a post this morning about him. I couldn't help it, you see, because he is occupying too many of my thoughts right now. I started to write about it, about how I feel, about how I have felt but I realized it was all something I had written before and that I wasn't covering any new ground or discovering any miraculous solutions. I was just wallowing and attempting, as I do with most things in my life, to just write it out.
From Lifehouse's Only One "I've already been there, already done that, it got me no where, it brought me nothing, but a good place to hide in, a place to confide in, I guess you're the only one that nobody changes..."
Rather than attempt to rewrite the same impossible riddle, I opted for a shoulder... a couple of them really. I sent out an email to three of my girl friends. Liz and I seem to be in similar ruts so when she replied and said that she would love a call tonight, I agreed.
Did we discover the cure for my predicament? Nah... But we laughed and sipped wine and I smoked cigarettes and got eaten up by mosquitoes while I sat on the trunk on my car. Good friends. That is what I have. Women who will spend two hours on the phone with me while we are two thousand miles apart and listen to me retell the same saga and present the same problems and understand with me the same feelings.
I have great friends, people who really care about me and will listen to me when I need listening to. Is my problem solved? Will I go to sleep now and put him out of my mind? No. But, it has been put on the back burner for now and if nothing else, I will try not be sad for tonight.
