Lots of craziness: I'm sorry, did you say "mosh pit"?

Friday, December 16, 2005

I'm sorry, did you say "mosh pit"?

So, last night I went to Holiday Havoc 2, put on by a local rock station: 102.7 KROCK. There were a total of four bands:
Bif Naked
Thousand Foot Krutch
Hinder (which is the reason I was going!)
Default

It was Jiffinner, her husband The Bear and Fairy. We got off to a slightly late start since the doors were opening at five and that was what time we left to head over there. It ended up not being an issue since they didn't let anyone onto the floor until right before the show started.
Now, I had no idea that Jiffinner had never been to a concert before until we were standing in front of the stage before Bif Naked came on and she confessed. To say I was stunned was an understatement.
Anyway, about a third of the way through Bif Naked, this fuckface (herein referred to as 'cocksucker') pushes his way past us and stands right in front of the guy next to me. And when I say right in front, I mean like --- close to the guy. I'm sure the dude next to me wanted to sock the prick, but he stood a good foot and a half over him. So, Cocksucker starts yelling bullshit at the band. The lead singer of Bif Naked is a chic and he was yelling some very derogatory things at her. Things, I won't even repeat and I will repeat a lot.
So, Jiffinner and her husband head back over to the bar. The Bear said he wanted to kick the guy's ass and I couldn't blame him since I wanted little more than to grab Cocksucker's ponytail and then kick him in the back of the knees and just watch him buckle backwards onto the ground. Ha! Betcha didn't know I had that in me huh? Oh yeah, I am scruffy. However, not quite scruffy enough to take on some six foot five guy. So, I did the mature thing and ignored him.
After Bif Naked was Thousand Foot Krutch, who reminded me a lot of Our Lady Peace (who I love and adore)... they were like a cross between OLP and Fallout Boy. I liked them and am going to have to get some of their stuff.
They were followed by Hinder, which honestly is the reason I went. When Hinder came on, that was when shit started to get a bit crazy. Before they came to the stage, no one was trying to steal you spot in front and the concert had been fairly mellow. But, right before Hinder hit the stage, there was like a wave of people behind us who started trying to push their way to the front.
Now, when Bif Naked had been on, this guy wearing a leather trench coat, who easily stood six foot four and weighed something like three hundred pounds, pushed his and his girlfriend's way past us and stood almost in front of me. I was pissed. However, as the music progressed, I realized that he was with about eight chics, all of whom were standing right in front of me and that he was keeping an eye on them to make sure they weren't fucked with. And I also realized that there wasn't a guy there (except maybe Cocksucker) who would try and push their way past this guy. He was solid. It was then that I decided I was happy he was right in front of me. No one was fucking with him so I would be fine. In between Thousand Foot Krutch and Hinder, I struck up a conversation with him and his girlfriend to solidify my stance as protected.
So, having made friend with the ogre dude, when this wave of people started pushing forward, I was hoping that none of them would be stupid enough to fuck with this guy. One little teenager was and he quickly put the dude in his place. Well, I am feeling good about my spot and I stayed put when Hinder finished to wait for Default. I like Default as much as the next person... ok, well maybe a little bit more after having seen how hot the entire band is. The point is that I like them but I could have watched from second row or from way in the back. But I figured since I was already up there, I would keep my spot.
The wave of people before Hinder was nothing compared to the wave of people for Default. I have been to these small shows before. In fact, last year I saw 7 Mary 3 and The burden Brothers in a bar with a couple of hundred other people and I was like fifteen feet from the stage with zero pushing. I was surprised at how rude everyone was being. I mean, shit, the entire place was only like 250 feet, how close do you need to be?
Apparently pretty fucking close.
It got very crowded when Default came on. Any extra room previously used for dancing was gone and you had to widen your stance so you weren't knocked around when someone bumped into you. This was ok for the first two or three songs that Default played. Did I mention that they, as in all of them, were HOT? Yeah? Oh...
So at the end of the third song this fucking asshole. Wait... Fucking drunk idiotic asshole, yes, much better. This fucking drunk idiotic asshole starts trying to push his way past the people in front and to the right of me to get to the little wall thingy that separates the people from the stage and where all of the little security guards stand. Well, when this asshole does that he starts pushing the chics that the ogre was with and he got straight pissed. He reaches over with his giant arm and grabs the guy's shirt. Immediately I thought oh fuck. He pulls the guy about a foot closer to him, and by default me, and tell him "you need to back the fuck up." Well the fucking drunk idiotic asshole was apparently also belligerent and stupid to boot so he decides that he wants to fight the ogre and I start trying to back away because, well let's face it, there was a combined total of like 500+ pounds of angry men and I didn't want to be anywhere near it.
While all of this is happening, a mosh pit (yes, I know 'at Default?', but you read right) broke out like ten feet away. I am oblivious to this since I am trying to avoid getting the shit knocked out of me by the two huge guys who are now screaming at each other and getting into each other's faces. At just the right moment, the mosh pit shifts to where we are and in doing so hits the asshole and knocks him into the ogre. The ogre falls. on. my. leg. and knocks me down. The three hundred pound ogre fell on my leg. By the time I got back up which was neither quick nor graceful, I was done. I don't go to concerts to get hurt people.
I turn around and see that not only is there a mosh pit to the right of me but there is also one behind me. I decide to go to the left just as everything shifts again and when I take that first step, I get nailed from behind by some other moron flying into me which makes me fly into some other guy who I am screaming apologies at. I am trying to push my way through all of these people and no one is letting me by because they think I am trying to steal their spots. I am yelling over and over "I am just trying to get out!!!"
I get pretty close to the outside of the massive hoard of people and then run into some guy's arm, which has a death grip on the gate thingy in front of him. I am directly in front of the speakers and so instead of screaming, I point that I am trying to go that way. As in, away from the stage and not steal your spot. He just smiles at me. I am pissed. I point again and yell that I am trying to leave and then tap his arm. Again, smiles. So, I grab his arm and yank and that asshole doesn't let go. By now, the mosh pit has caught up with me again and I have people running into my back again. Part of me wanted to punch the guy blocking me in, the other part wanted to scream "I am a MOM! Let me out!" I ended up having to push back the way I had come and go around him which meant putting my life on the line one last time.
Then I was free.
I was shaking but I was free.
I found Jiffinner and The Bear and went to sit with them. It took me two songs to calm down and stop shaking. But no sooner than I had, I look up and there is a cute guy smiling at me. And I mean cute. So, I smile back. He looks over at the band and then back at me and smiles again. I was thinking I should get up and go over and say 'hi' but then he looks one last time and smiles and brushes some hair from his eyes and I see it.
The 'X'.
Drawn with permanent black marker on his hand.
Minor.
He could have been between 18 and 21, but I wasn't willing to risk it. Besides, I had already had much more than my fair share of fun. I was ready to go home.

so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 7:39 AM
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