Oh, I feel like an absolutely awful friend.
I feel like every conversation I have had on the phone with any of you has been just "me, me, me, me, me, me."
I feel like I have no idea what's going on in any of your lives.
I feel, even if only for this and the next few moments, so completely out of touch with those of you who mean so very much to me.
Sometimes, I will be at work and I will be thinking of something I need to tell one of you or maybe even writing a contraband email to one of you while sneaking glances over my shoulder to make sure no one sees and I wonder if I made the right choice.
Was leaving this extremely loose and easily maliable life that I had before the right decision?
Was giving up the freedom I had before for the luxuries and rules I have now a fair trade?
Just being able to go to the beach with Babs and Tux and have a few hour long calls with some of you was so valuable to me.
I am trying so hard to catch up on your blogs, on your lives and I read something and feel like I've missed so much in just a few weeks. Some of you have made me laugh tonight and some have made me cry. I'm worried about some of you and happy for others... But all of you have made my heart hurt a little that I have given up so many hours a week that I had before to devote to our friendship.
I miss you guys.