I swear to... well, whoever that the reason I even have guilt has everything to do with my mother going to Catholic school and being raised Catholic. I don't think she had any choice, she had to just riddle us with guilt when we were growing up and now I just can't help but feel like shit when I think there is even an indirect way that I had something to do with something bad happening to someone.
Yesterday at New Kickass Job, my boss fired someone.
Someone I really liked.
And he did it right after he and I had a meeting.
And even though he assured me that our meeting had nothing to do with it, I just couldn't help but think that maybe I could have said something during our meeting to sway him not to fire this person had I just known that was going to be his next thing on his to do list.
And I just keep replaying, over and over and over again the talk we had trying to think of something, anything I could have said or done to have helped this person's case.
But then I started to think about why I was doing that.
(Because I'm all into self therapy apparently and since I already knew how it "made me feel", the "why I felt that way" was next on my check list. See how I just saved like five hundred bucks?)
Anyway, I realized that I frequently feel guilty, even when I know something isn't my fault.
Even when my boss has pulled me back in to assure me that what just happened had nothing to do with me and our talk.
Even then, I still feel bad.
And so I do what everyone in therapy does (self therapy or otherwise) - I find a way to blame my mother :)

Labels: At work, Being a Chic, my crazy life, my mother, self loathing

The cute tattooed dad picks his kids up at 5:20 on Wednesday.


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Emilee: you know Mommy, it would be cool to get a costume for Chica...

Triniti: Em! Chica doesn't need a costume! She's already a dog!


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Its just me & Trin tonight.
Amanda & Em are at sleepovers, Noah is... Hehehe... At a sleepover too. With Fairy. (sorry Lola)
Anyway my brother had downloaded this thoroughly disgusting PowerPoint presentation on how gross your teeth become if you don't brush them. One night when Em didn't want to brush hers, we were all subjected to like 25 pics of nasty mouths.
(god help is when there's a safe sex talk in this house.)

Well, for whatever reason tonight Trin asked me to show it to her. I don't have any idea whether it is even saved on the computer, let alone where. And honestly? It was gross enough the first time. So I tell Trin I don't know where to find it and do you know what she says?
"just go to gross teeth dot com Mommy."
Like -duh- you can just see whatever you want if you use dot com as a suffix.


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parte uno , parte due , parte tre , parte quattro , parte cinque , parte sei , parte sette , parte otto , parte nove , parte dieci , parte undici , parte dodici , parte tredici


He couldn’t ask her to dinner, it would be inappropriate.
But when he walked into the same little bistro where he had first seen her and saw her sitting alone reading, he hadn’t been able to stop himself from walking over.
Much to his surprise, she smiled at him as he sat across from her.

Labels: 55 Friday

parte uno , parte due , parte tre , parte quattro , parte cinque , parte sei , parte sette , parte otto , parte nove , parte dieci , parte undici , parte dodici

She had noticed that he watched her – often.
She had noticed that he went out of his way to be around her whenever he could.
She had noticed that other people were beginning to notice this too.
She had especially noticed that his secretary, Marina, was getting more and more upset about her presence there.

Labels: 55 Friday

parte uno , parte due , parte tre , parte quattro , parte cinque , parte sei , parte sette , parte otto , parte nove , parte dieci , parte undici

He couldn’t help but be enthralled. She was like two people sharing the same skin. When he saw her at work, he could barely believe she was the same bruised and scared girl he had met almost two months ago.
This girl was confident, happy – strong.
He had never felt like this about someone before.

Labels: 55 Friday

"Mommy? You know what rhymes with autumn?"

"What?"

"Bottom! That's so funny! But I don't know what rhymes with Beth. She's a girl in my class... Do you know what rhymes with Beth mommy?"


I had to say no because all I could think of was death & meth, neither of which were appropriate for her to tell Beth in school tomorrow.


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Now that all of my email goes to my phone, I am sitting here at work doing all of my incredibly! exciting! Monday stuff and I my phone goes off - twice. I check it, thinking it is just another weekly ad from Lowes or The Home Depot (because they put out like three weekly ads each) but it's actually a couple of comments on the post below saying that they found my blog through "MBBB"...
So I'm all like WTF is MBBB?
I discreetly lower my phone down below where any passer-bys could see me messing with it and click the link accompanying the comment. A few seconds later I am looking at the headline of "October's Blog Babes" on a blog called The Most Bangable Blog Babes.
Awesome.
And isn't Maddog just a yummy little blogger boy?
Of course, due to Maddog's reference to a very old post (that I hoped no one remembered... or read for that matter), I think most of you are coming over here to see what he was talking about and it would take some serious archive diving to find it.
But - because I am such a good sport, I am going to drag out the old and humiliating post for those curious readers who are looking for it.
So - here for it's second run, the bad head post.

Enjoy.