You know those humane mouse traps? The glue ones? Are those considered humane? I don't know now that I think about it... anyway, I feel like I'm stuck to one. Like my life is a giant glue mouse trap and I'm just stuck to it. And some days I get this burst of energy or optimistic enthusiasm and try and pull off of it but I don't make enough progress and end up laying back down on it. Stuck.
I hate that.
I don't want to feel that way about my life. I mean, fuck, it's MY LIFE. It's not like there is a guarantee of another one. I want to feel inspired. Loved. Excited. Breathless. Certain. I want to look around and see wonder. I want to marvel at it all.
Am I spoiled?
Insatiable?
Bored?
I don't know. But I want more. I'm not satisfied with it all.
I used to feel bad saying that, like I wasn't grateful for what I do have. Like it wasn't this amazing thing that I went from being this high school drop out mom to where I am now.
I am grateful. But I am no longer afraid or abashed to say I want more.
I want more.
Labels: Because I Said So, Being a Chic
