Wednesday, March 23, 2005
A horrifying discovery (on hump-day no less)
I decided to test myself last week. On St. Patrick’s Day, I swung by an old lovers house just to say hi. I hadn’t spoken to him in awhile and figured I’d pop by and see how he was doing. I was on a time limit, as I had to pick my girls up twenty minutes after I got there. Part of the reason I stopped by was to say hello. I have been trying to be a better friend since I lost Veronique (you truly don’t understand how quick you can lose a friendship until you do) and in doing so, I am trying to squeeze in more friend time and less I’m to busy for you because I work time.
Anyway, the other (teeny tiny) reason I stopped by was because I haven’t been laid in a long time and I was curious to see whether he and I were still into sleeping together. Well, he was, I was not. After a few moments of reflection, I realized that I am not interested in sleeping with anyone. Let me rephrase that, I am not sexually attracted to any one right now. We have #9, who was nice, nice looking according to TG, interested in me, and stable. And what did I do? Cancelled my date with him last Friday so I could stay home in my PJs and watch Finding Neverland and Bridget Jones. Why? Because I don’t want to sleep with this guy, I don’t even want him to try and kiss me. If I knew I could go out with him and he’d keep his hands to himself, I would probably be more inclined to accept. As it is, I have rescheduled for a lunch [read: safe].
Is it possible that I am… what? Happily Celibate? Impossible, not I. In fact, I know I am not ‘happily celibate’, because I have not lost interest. It just seems that the two prospects I have in front of me (
EP & #9) are not cutting it for me. I have never had this problem before. In fact, I used to be able to have no-strings-attached-sex with little to no thought involved. Am I getting older? Changing? -stomps foot- Well, damn it, I don’t want to. I want the good ol’ days back. It has been many a month since I have had a good roll in the hay and I’m in need of one. Why do I suddenly have to care about who it is with????
~Kate
so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 11:05 AM
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Who: katehopeeden
Where: San Antonio, Texas Yeah, so I am all that you see here. I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty... sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends. I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am. Want to know more?
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12/14/84 - 1/26/05


"The most wasted day is one in which we have not laughed"

"Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you might miss it."

"Guys are like stars, there's a million of them out there but only one of them can make your dreams come true." "Don't spend your life with someone you can live with, spend it with someone you can't live without."

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