Thursday, May 25, 2006
Thursday Thoughts
I know, no post for a few days... I've seen ya'll checking back to see if I have word vomited all over the screen yet.
I have just been so very very tired. It's like all of the running around for months caught up to me. I actually went home Tuesday and napped! And I was in bed by ten last night. Very unlike me. I am also trying to stock pile some energy before this weekend too. I have to get my place under control by this weekend and keep it as such through next week because Thursday I am leaving for Dallas. I will be gone for four days (don't worry, I will try to blog! And if I can't, I will be blogging on my Tungsten and uploading later) starting the last day of school.
But the main reason I haven't blogged is because I have been distracted by a conversation that is happening on my single parents message board. Several of you know which one I am talking about since you post there but for those of you who don't, let me summarize.
One of the posters asked us what advice we would give to a woman who was considering being artificially inseminated by her gay friend. She is forty five and has no children and no prospect of a marriage. So basically she would be embarking upon motherhood alone and wanted to have some idea of how this would change her life.
This led into an entire discussion about whether she should even be having the child alone and to be honest with you, dear reader, there were several answers that ruffled my feathers.
Now you guys know from reading LOC that I am not conservative by any means and I very rarely follow The Rules. I don't believe you have to be married to have sex never mind to have children. I don't think that a married household is always better than a single parent household. But I do believe that the biggest misconception out there right now is that single parents are not as good as married parents. I would challenge ANY married household to my own. Any.
I am a good mother. Every single decision I make is for what is best for my children. Including the decision to not be with their fathers. If you would like to condemn me for having three children out of wedlock and therefore depriving them of the "stable life" that they should have received, that is your prerogative.
But don't fucking stand there and say that you are better than me because you were married when you had your kids. There aren't separate categories here people. You are either married or single, you can't subcategorize it. I would sure love to know where these people are buying their high horses because I would love to bomb the farm.
But more importantly, how can you sit back and look at your child and have those feelings, those warm-and-fuzzy-oh-my-god-I-am-so-lucky-to-be-a-mom feelings and then tell someone else they don't deserve them because they aren't following your fucked up Rule Book of needing marriage first?

You can never be ready for parenthood. Never.
You can read every book ever written on the subject, you can buy all of the latest and best gadgets, you can cut your husband out of a Perfect Man Catalog.
But when your baby is born and you hold them in your arms for the very first time, that is when you become a mother, that is when your world changes.


Anyway, I want to know what ya'll think and give those of you who have already addressed this on the board a chance to vent or whatever here.
And I will post more in the comments but I have to work :(
so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 7:24 AM
| link to this post | 21 spoke |


Who: katehopeeden
Where: San Antonio, Texas Yeah, so I am all that you see here. I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty... sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends. I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am. Want to know more?
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12/14/84 - 1/26/05


"The most wasted day is one in which we have not laughed"

"Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you might miss it."

"Guys are like stars, there's a million of them out there but only one of them can make your dreams come true." "Don't spend your life with someone you can live with, spend it with someone you can't live without."

"Reach for the moon, even if you miss you will still land among the stars"



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Hot Toddy

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dooce

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"I just got done reading the history lessons on your blog (yes, I've been lurking on your blog). All the respect I had for you...has increased, like, tenfold. I don't think I could have done it. To go through what you have and not only still be able to discuss it with such wit and poise, but also to raise those three gorgeous girls. You are truly an inspiration. You are honestly one of the strongest people I have ever known, either online or IRL. Thank you so much." -Stef

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That cracked my shit up! TM

Kate went to Dallas?

You asked Kate questions?

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There was a mouse?

Kate shared?

Kate confessed?

Kate turned 25?

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