You've never been afraid to show who you are.
You've never been afraid to follow your interests.
You've never been ashamed of what you like.
You are a very strong person that way and I have been sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see what it is that you are going to aim that laser beam of yours on.
One day, when you are a mother (should you ever become a mother) and your daughter comes home ridiculously excited because she has signed on to do Theater as her elective in sixth grade, I wonder if you will be perfectly split between proud, excited and a little terrified as I was.
Don't get me wrong, I love that you are following your heart. I love that you and Amanda are so totally different that she chooses to play an instrument and you choose to be an instrument. And because you have this fabulous personality and this bravery I know you are going to do so well in Theater. It is actually one of those things where I smack myself in the forehead and think, of COURSE she is going to do Theater, how come I didn't already know that? Sometimes you girls make decisions that I expect and sometimes you make the right decision and I never even saw it coming. I'm so proud of you girls that you know yourselves enough to manage that.
But I have to admit, I have a teeny tiny fear that you will be living in an efficiency apartment in New York pursuing a career on Broadway while you wait tables in a diner somewhere... not that there's anything wrong with that other than IT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME.
I think next year, when you start sixth grade, you are really going to find your place. You will be thrown into a new school where another whole elementary school will also be thrown in, you will meet a ton of new kids and you will be able to be in classes that interest you and I think with the kids who share your same interests, you will find more people who get you. And I am glad because I really want you to find your niche.
Last year, when Amanda started middle school, I took her to her orientation and helped her pick out her classes and she was very nervous about this new adventure. This year, when all of that orientation stuff rolled around, you weren't frightened at all. In fact, you went with Noah and you chose all of your classes yourself. You didn't run it by me for my opinion, you didn't ask for help, you just did it. You have that take care of yourself attitude and that impresses me. I didn't have that until I was much older than you and even now, as an adult, I find it hard to make choices without running them by people first. But you? You just know what is right for you and you leap.
You are one of the bravest people I know Emilee.
You chose all advanced classes which is a crazy busy schedule for sure but I believe you will kick ass.
You're wicked smart and I'm actually a little jazzed that you chose the challenged route instead of the easy one, it shows ambition.
This year, you've kind of become a pain in the ass. Amanda was a pain in the ass too but her whole pain in the ass thing happened in between nine and ten, yours is a little late. In the last few months, you've enjoyed starting stuff with your sisters: you pester and poke and annoy and instigate. I, at one point, actually thought you were going to skip over this phase but I guess it was inevitable that you wouldn't. It's ok, sisters are supposed to irritate each other. I don't know why, but I know it's normal so I am, just as I did with Amanda, trying not to kill you and I am looking forward to when this phase ends. When Amanda's ended, I had this amazing little girl. She went from kid to pain in the ass to caring and giving and responsible, I am looking forward to the same change in you.
Not to say that you aren't kind and caring, you really are. You frequently get up and help me out with stuff or offer to do nice things. You have this amazingly large heart and I see that about you more than anything else. You love loyally, unconditionally and whole heartedly. The people in your life that are lucky enough to become your friends and important to you have no idea how wonderful you will be to them.
You are going to be a true friend.
I've been a little watchful this year as you are playing softball. You don't really have that whole competitive thing that I am beginning to see in Amanda but you have so much team spirit. Where Amanda wants to excel and be the best player, you want to be the best teammate and if that means sitting on the bench so someone else can play, you are fine with that. You constantly offer up positive reinforcement and help the coaches. You are truly an asset to them without ever even leaving the dugout. I wonder if you will continue playing over the next few years as you start to pursue your other interests and want to spend more time on them. I hope you will little Miss Hit Two Home Runs already this season, but if you choose not to, I will totally support you.
In the last two years, your love for reading has surprised me. I have to admit, I thought Amanda would be the one who followed in my footsteps and became a reading addict but it is totally you. In fact, this year for your birthday, the only thing you asked for was books! Amanda loves to read, but you conquer entire sets of books in days. I think that you do it for the same reason that I did it growing up; it's a world completely different from the one you're in. I didn't have many friends when I was your age either and spent a lot of time alone in my room reading. It's strange for me to see this in you since your personality is so different from mine at that age. You are so outgoing and I was so shy. But while strange, it is nice to see SOME part of me in you :)
Emilee, I love you so much. You amaze me in so many ways and watching your change from child to young woman is fascinating for me. I am proud of you for all of the things you do and excited for all of the things I know you will do. Even if one of those things is living in an efficiency apartment in New York while pursuing your career in theater. I may lose sleep with worrying about you, but I will still be proud. You are growing and changing in ways I hadn't even considered. Thank you for being my daughter, thank you for staying true to yourself and thank you for smiling all the time. You make me so very, very happy.
Mom
