Ok, so I don't think you can say "being" when you are entering your second week BUT I have to say that I could seriously see this as a lifestyle change for me permanently. It wasn't hard like I thought it would be.
Whenever one considers a diet change, you always see yourself with the little food journal and a calorie calculator and you know it will be work.
But not so much for this one... I had to change what I buy at the store and the fact that Amanda and Trin are not on board blows because I have to make more than one dinner but as far as will power? Cake. Well, cake with no eggs anyway.
There are a gazillion awesome websites out there where I can find recipe ideas but with the exception of baking, it isn't rocket science. Substitute soy, almond, coconut or rice milk for just about everything calling for milk... and so far, there hasn't been anything I can't use ground flax in to cover for a lack of eggs in baking.
No meat? No problem. I don't even really miss it. The other day I was baking some chicken strips for Trin and Amanda and I didn't want to pop one in my mouth at all ;-)
Last night, I reheated a frozen brisket that The Cake Lady's husband made the last time we bbqed and as I was cutting it up for Amanda, it didn't bother me at all. Although I did stick my finger in the bbq sauce that he made to go with it because that shit is gooooooooood.
I can't do a freaking thing with tofu yet... how did something like tofu become intimidating?
The coolest thing? I can eat pretty much whatever I want and kind of feel guilt free about it. Second helping of salad? Yeah, well, it's SALAD. lol
Oh and I love cous-cous and quinoa a bunch!
Since I am only going into week two, I am not feeling secure enough to host my girl's night dinner with a vegan menu that will knock anyones socks off so we will be taking a break this weekend so I can make Chicken Spaghetti and a Mandarin Orange cake, both recipes from Mow's bag of old recipes that I finally finagled away from my Aunts who were keeping them hidden away.
I will be posting both recipes here with photos and reviews.

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Being Vegan, cooking, Emilee, recipes, Triniti

Being a mother means making hard choices.
It means that even after you've learned hard lessons, you have to watch your children learn them again, for themselves.
There is a saying that I always think of when being a mom is hard...
“Making the decision to have a child - It's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”- Elizabeth Stone

Let me tell you a little secret about raising a teenager... even when she is an awesome kid who makes great grades and who doesn't have sex and who is cheerful about 85% of the time and who keeps her room relatively clean and who helps with dinner and knows how to dust the right way... even then, it's hard to raise her. It's hard to help her make the right choices. It's hard to let her make the wrong ones. And sometimes, like right now, it's hard to know which is which.

Last year, she was in seventh grade and a boy who rides her bus was in ninth grade. She and this boy became friends. He was and still is this geeky looking kid whose feet are too big for his body, he wears glasses and draws pictures. He doesn't look like the kind of boy you need to be too wary of. I'm beginning to think that they all are anyway.
So last year, they become friends. In fact, there was a whole group of kids she was friends with on the bus... her little bus posse.
And then the trouble started.
This boy started dating a girl in high school. A bad misguided girl. The kind of girl who is in trouble all the time, who spends her afternoons in detention, who gets suspended. I don't know this girl so I am hesitant to cast judgement but suffice it to say, she was spending her days in in-school suspension and her afternoons running around town. And for whatever reason, she set her sights on this boy and he started spending time with her.
It only lasted a few weeks and Amanda came home and griped about this girl and how she was trying to get this boy to get into trouble all the time. I reminded her, as I do whenever the opportunity arises, that he is responsible for his choices, not this other girl.
In a flurry of activity, many things happened quite suddenly.
The boy and the girl slept together.
The boy and the girl broke up.
The girl claimed rape.
The girl admitted no rape, but confirmed pregnancy.
The girl also admitted multiple partners.
The boy was shipped away to relatives.
I took advantage of all this drama to have several BIG conversations with my daughter about choices and behavior and responsibility.

Now, having been down the teenaged pregnancy road before, I sympathize with these kids, truly I do. That being said, I do not ever want to have to sympathize with any of my own children in that sense. I'd like to get all of my girls well into adulthood without any of them having babies.
So, the boy moved away and Amanda and he stayed friends online and via text but the updates on the girl and the boy were few and far between.
Admittedly, I was relieved.
Not long afterwards, Cody moved back. And in with us. And away.
Another big sigh of relief but not without the recognition that while I don't want these boys thinking about my daughter naked, I also feel for them. I cared about Cody. I wanted to help him.
Sometimes I feel like there is something inside of me that tries to reach out and latch onto people and pull them in closer. Even when I don't want to, it still happens.
The thing that Cody had in common with this boy? Both sets of parents blow.
So the boy moved back at the end of the summer (practically coinciding with Cody leaving) and he and Amanda became fast friends again. And then with the beginning of the school year, just a mere three weeks ago, they started "going out". And when I say "going out" PLEASE NOTICE THE QUOTATION MARKS because my daughter isn't going to movies or out to dinner or even for a damn walk with this kid, they just ride the bus and have the social status of going out and they might hold hands or have long texting conversations but they aren't dating. Because my daughters aren't allowed to date until they are sixteen.
But at the same time, I realize that "going out" with boys, which they've been doing in school since the second grade, happens. I don't like it but in order to maintain some kind of control and facilitate honesty in my household, there it is. And more times than not, when it happens, it is over just as quickly.
So when Amanda came to me to let me know that he and this boy were going out, I inwardly cringed but outwardly kept my cool. And have held onto that cool for the last few weeks as this girl has gotten closer to delivery.
Now, there is some possibility that this isn't the boy's baby but his parents, who blow, are practically excited about the baby being born and have agreed to start paying child support without a paternity test. There are so many things about this boys parents that I don't understand but I really cannot fathom not getting a paternity test when this girl has admitted she was with other guys at the same time.
As a parent, I am struggling with all of this.
A lot.
On the one hand, I feel like I am limiting what Amanda can get away with but simultaneously, I am having a bunch of chats with her about all of this. She has been crystal clear in letting me know just how much she understands right now that one time is all it takes. She has told me that she doesn't want to get pregnant, doesn't want to have sex yet and man oh man does she ever have the shining example of how easily those things could happen now. We've talked about how many girls at school have already been pregnant or had babies... Teenaged pregnancy is no longer a ship your daugter off to her Aunt's house for the summer thing. It's in your face, it's happening a lot.
At the same time, I've told her that as soon as she even thinks she might want to have sex, she needs to let me know because we will get her ass to a gynecologist immediately and she can choose the form of birth control she wants to be on first. And we can learn the names of all the stds ever.
On the other hand, I want to forbid it. All of it. Sex. Boys. "Going Out". Growing Up. But I can't. Forbidding it all closes the communication doors and I'd rather help guide her through her choices than try and make them for her or worse, have her make them behind my back.

Yesterday the girl had her baby. The boy wasn't at school because his parents took him to the delivery. And when Amanda got home, she was upset because everyone had been talking about it all day long.
There are no books on how to handle this. How to handle that the boy your daughter likes already has a baby (if it's his) or that everyone keeps gossiping about it or that she's not even fourteen for another ten weeks.

And all the while, I'm starting to look at Emilee and wonder.

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Dating, daughters, Emilee, my crazy life

I'm excited about this. I've been wanting to try it for a long time and never found the "right" time. We discussed it a week or so ago and started to get all the stuff we'd need and cut down on the meat and dairy in our lives over the last week.
I think we can do it.
So today for breakfast, I had a slice of toast with soy "butter" (which doesn't taste bad like I thought it would) and some malt-o-meal with maple syrup. And for lunch I had pita chips (my new fav) and a veggie burger on whole wheat with spinach and avacado. The avacado really helps with the whole no mayo thing.
Not sure what we are having for dinner yet but I am pretty sure it will be one of the soups I made over the weekend.
With the exception of cheese, I don't mind so much.
Almond milk is a killer substitute for regular milk and we use rice or soy milk for cooking.

I also cut out coffee when the girls went back to school.. not completely mind, just stopped drinking it daily. I find I still like a nice hot glass of it on Sundays when I am reading blogs in my pjs :-)

Labels: cooking, Emilee, my crazy life

Ok so schedule is in play and working.
Did I just type that?
I have to admit, when I took our new schedule home and posted it up around the house, I met with a fair amount of yeah right, Mom and that’s not going to happen.
Am I the only one who occasionally feels ganged up on by their kids?
I found that the most resistance was coming from the evening side of things.
The girls didn’t like that the schedule didn’t allow for TV/computer time. So they negotiated. We decided that as long as everything on the schedule was accomplished before bedtime that they could watch tv or use the computer or read until bedtime.
Our revised schedule is going more like this:

4:45 -- MOMMY UP , SHOWER AND GET READY FOR WORK
5:15 -- GET TRIN READY FOR SCHOOL
5:30 -- WAKE AMANDA AND EMILEE UP, NO BATTLES
5:30 – 6:00 HAVE BREAKFAST TOGETHER
6:00 -- EMILEE SHOWER, AMANDA AND EMILEE GET READY FOR SCHOOL – NO TV OR COMPUTER UNTIL
COMPLETELY READY FOR SCHOOL, MOMMY LOADS DISHWASHER
6:15 -- MOMMY LEAVES FOR WORK
6:50 – GIRLS LEAVE FOR BUS, EVERYONE SHOULD BE READY
3:30 – 4:00 LEAVE WORK
4:00 – 4:30 GET HOME, START A LOAD OF LAUNDRY AND MAKE DINNER, PACK TRIN’S LUNCH
4:45 – 5:15 SERVE DINNER, EAT TOGETHER
6:00 – 6:30 LAUNDRY INTO DRYER, MOM AND EMILEE CLEAN UP KITCHEN, START DISHWASHER
6:30 – GO FOR WALK OR DO HOME WORK IF YOU’VE GOT IT
7:00 – TRIN SHOWER, EMILEE UNLOAD DISHWASHER, AMANDA HANG UP LAUNDRY FROM DRYER
7:15 – AMANDA SHOWER
7:15 – 7:45 TRIN READING TIME IN BED, LIGHTS OUT 8:00 FOR TRIN
7:15 – AMANDA GATHER LAUNDRY, PUT IN WASHER FOR MOMMY TO START IN THE MORNING
7:30 – 8:00 FREE TIME AMANDA AND EM, COMPUTER, READ, HOMEWORK, TV (IN YOUR ROOMS)
8:00 – PHONE AND ELECTRONICS OFF, PHONES CHARGE ON HALL TABLE
8:00 – 8:45 READING TIME
8:45 LIGHTS OUT

There are times during the day where I am standing there wondering what I should be doing and I will just go and look at the schedule and be like oh yeah, laundry. We haven’t “walked” yet since it’s a blistering 100+ degrees out just about every day, but we’ve been doing cardio pilates a few days a week which I am hoping to make at least three times a week. I found it is easier to do something at home since Trin has been getting in the bath after dinner and staying in there until it’s time to read.

Here is what I have discovered this week:
*having the girls get up and sit at the table for breakfast is causing (so far) no morning arguments. I’m not sure if this is because the girls aren’t rushing so they don’t fight over the bathroom or if it is just because they shake off their cranky morning moods at the table. I don’t care what it is, my house is downright pleasant in the mornings and I love it. Yesterday Amanda didn’t eat anything, she just sat with us for about fifteen minutes while she woke up all the way. This morning she had watermelon and a bagel… Emilee has been having a granola bar every morning and Trin has had everything from biscuits to bagels to toast with juice.

*I stopped drinking coffee Wednesday. I didn’t mean to and I certainly don’t know if it will be permanent but I haven’t had any for three days and I feel fine. Some minor headaches the last two mornings but no energy loss. I’ve also been eating something light in the mornings, some mini-wheats or toast with juice and I have a lot more energy. I’ve also lost ten pounds.

*We planned out our “menu” over the weekend and we’ve eaten really well this week. Lots of veggies and grilled chicken. Last night we had salads and corn on the cob, Amanda and Emilee didn’t even clean their plates and both were full. We are always done eating by 6:00.

*Trin has been taking hour plus long baths this week and when she gets out, she puts on her pjs and gets right into bed with her book. She is reading the Spiderwick books right now. She has me set a timer for twenty minutes and as soon as it goes off, she rolls over and goes to bed.

*I’ve been in bed by nine every night this week and with the exception of this morning, I’ve not had any problems getting up before 5:00. I love going to bed early.

*We’ve been SUPER on top of the laundry this week. I will be going into the weekend with one or two loads total. WHAT WILL I DO WITH ALL THAT FREE TIME?

*I feel very good. I feel like a good mom. I feel organized. I feel energized. I feel like I will be able to start other projects now. I am going to thank the girls for being so great this week.

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Emilee, organization, Triniti

If you are like me, you are already starting to dread the school year that is looming around the corner in a few weeks. I love Summer. I love the flow of it, the fact that I don't have to communicate with another human being until 7:00am when I walk into work. No worrying about forgotten homework, lunch money, PE clothes, umbrellas, etc.
I like Summer.
It's easier.
I like easy.

But, knowing that the school year is impending, I thought I'd better start getting our schedule together. Four females in a house can get pretty chaotic and sometimes I'd rather just point to the schedule hanging up and declare, "IT'S NOT ON THE SCHEDULE."
Because I amd Mommy and I can.
Just kidding.
Kind of.
It's more of the written goal frame of mind. Brian Tracy has a quote that I love in regards to goals, "Only three percent of adults have written goals, and everyone else works for them."
I believe in writing your goals down and reflecting on them as often as possible. I think if you look at your intentions daily, you're way more likely to accomplish them.
And believe me when I say that a schedule for our household IS a goal.

So here it is, our Monday through Friday 10-11 School Year Schedule... wish me luck!
4:45 -- MOMMY UP , SHOWER AND GET READY FOR WORK
5:15 -- BREAKFAST FOR GIRLS, START LOAD OF LAUNDRY IN WASH
5:30 -- GET TRIN READY FOR SCHOOL
5:45 -- WAKE AMANDA AND EMILEE UP, NO BATTLES
5:45 – 6:00 HAVE BREAKFAST TOGETHER
6:00 -- AMANDA AND EMILEE GET READY FOR SCHOOL – NO TV OR COMPUTER UNTIL
COMPLETELY READY FOR SCHOOL, MOMMY LOADS DISHWASHER
6:15 -- MOMMY LEAVES FOR WORK
6:50 – GIRLS LEAVE FOR BUS, EVERYONE SHOULD BE READY
3:30 – 4:00 LEAVE WORK
4:00 – 4:30 GET HOME, GET LAUNDRY INTO DRYER AND MAKE DINNER
4:45 – 5:15 SERVE DINNER
6:00 – 6:30 MOM AND EMILEE CLEAN UP KITCHEN, START DISHWASHER
AMANDA HANG UP LAUNDRY FROM DRYER
TRINITI HOME WORK
6:30 – GO FOR WALK
7:00 – TRIN SHOWER, EMILEE UNLOAD DISHWASHER
7:15 – EMILEE SHOWER
7:15 – 7:45 TRIN READING TIME IN BED, LIGHTS OUT 7:45 FOR TRIN
7:15 – AMANDA GATHER LAUNDRY, PUT IN WASHER FOR MOMMY TO START IN THE MORNING
7:30 – 8:00 FREE TIME AMANDA AND EM, COMPUTER, READ, HOMEWORK, TV (IN YOUR ROOMS)
8:00 – PHONE AND ELECTRONICS OFF, PHONES CHARGE ON HALL TABLE
8:00 – 8:45 READING TIME
8:45 LIGHTS OUT

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Emilee, Triniti

Emilee wants to be taller than Amanda and I SO VERY BADLY.
There isn’t a week that goes by that she doesn’t measure all three of us to see who’s grown and more excitingly, who hasn’t... as long as it isn’t her.
Amanda is five foot four, I am five foot six and Emilee is five foot three. Amanda has been five foot four now for a year or so and really I don’t know if she is going to get any taller… maybe a late teenaged growth spurt or maybe she is just growing REALLY. SLOWLY.
Emilee has grown an inch or so in the last six months, I can practically see her catching up. She loves to stand really close to me or Amanda so she can mentally measure herself against us.
One of the most surreal things about being their mother is them being able to stand in front of me and look me in the eye. For so many years, I’ve looked down at them and them up at me. And now, they are almost my height. It’s freaking weird.
But, on the flip side, it is one of my favorite things right now. Watching Emilee measure herself every day with the tape measure. It’s something I am always going to remember. I am silently rooting for her. I hope she grows to be five foot eight and towers over her sisters and I because man oh man, she wants it badly.

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Emilee

The Emilee pic is the only one I have right now because she's been staying with my mom for the last two weeks while in drama camp... I promise she isn't always that angry :-)

Labels: Amanda, daughters, Emilee, Triniti

So, life got in the way of blogging.
And then, last night, when I was watching How I Met Your Mother (I'm not linking to it because YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW) and they were ragging on Barney because he has a blog and they were all "blogs were cool like eight years ago" and I scoffed. Loudly.
Because I [heart] my blog.
All five plus years of it.
And then I felt bad because I hardly blog. I mean, I turned thirty, Em turned twelve, Trin's turning eight and has started "hand-flapping" which accompanies her teeth grinding and makes me wonder if I should be looking into more therapy and the cat had kittens and my mom and brother are renting a new place and Amanda had a band concert and I have pics and stories and I haven't blogged ANYTHING.

And then I tried to justify the fact that I haven't been blogging because it was Birthday Month. And because I am planning a baby shower and the over achiever in me wants it to rock and I only have ONE MONTH left and holy crap, Fairy will be having a baby in August. A little baby nephew whose head I can smell until my body longs for the uterus that no longer resides there. And school is over, finally. Which means I am planning how to turn the kids into slaves activities for the kiddos. And planning my vacation with the girls. And learning French for said vacation. And planning what to buy the girls to eat while they are home for the next three months so that they can stay relatively healthy. And oh yeah, did I mention I am working on my book? LIKE FOR REAL working on it. And I have a garden and monthly dinners and a freaking house to clean. And my job that isn't awesome any more and I HAVEN'T HAD SEX IN TWO YEARS.
Pardon me while I breathe into a paper bag for a few minutes.
And then I have this other thing.
This important thing.
This big thing that makes my stomach muscles (ok, yeah, I don't have stomach muscles - shut. it.)... makes the butterflies that live in my stomach do nose dives into my... well, I guess other parts of my stomach.
I truly feel like barfing.
Remember Cody? Cody has a sad story. A sad story about a family that doesn't care about him. And he hasn't been in home in three weeks and he landed on my couch on Monday. And I knew it was coming. I knew it was a matter of time before he'd be there and I've been wondering how I would handle it. What I would do. If I could do anything. And I emailed my caseworker with CPS and asked for advice and crazy pills.
Then Monday, there he was. This thirteen year old boy who is taller than me and who has no where to go. PEOPLE. He hasn't been home in three weeks and NO ONE CARES. That makes me want to cry and then punch someone in the face. Preferably his mother.
Last night, I had The Talk with him. The talk wherein we discussed his future. The talk that I had been trying to mastermind a plan for for the last six months because I knew this was coming. I've thought out every possible scenario I could think of. I've talked to EVERYone I know who would listen. I've looked up anything I could think to look up. I even spent a few minutes in Total Denial. But the townspeople kicked me out, they knew I was a fake.
When I decided to adopt a few years ago.... when I decided I wanted us to be a family for someone who needed one, I said The Universe will send me who I'm supposed to have. The Universe will choose a child who needs us.
The Universe didn't get my memo about NO TEENAGED BOYS.
And listen, I have so totally tried to fight this. I've tried to ignore it, to find someone else to step in. I've cried. I've pleaded. I ran into wall after wall after wall.
And finally, yesterday, I just accepted it.
It is what it is.
It is harder. Most choices I make in life are.
Hard Choices walk up to the average Joe and say, "Nah, let's go find that Katehopeeden girl. She'll take us." And they are right, I do.
My brother and I have had like four hundred and seventy three phone conversations about this. And every one of them has ended with, "God Kate, you are out of your fucking mind." Don't get me wrong, he's on board because THERE IS NO OTHER CHOICE but he is just verbalizing his concerns the same way I am internalizing them.

I'm taking baby steps here. This isn't a jump in with your clothes on kind of situation.
First step was yesterday: Acceptance
Second step was last night: Talk to Cody, see what he wants to do, let him know that becoming a member of my family is an option.
Third step is finding stuff for him to do this summer since I can't have him and a certain thirteen year old girl just hanging out.
That is what happened today.
Can I tell you something real fast though? I can't believe how many people were willing to jump in and help. How many people that I've talked to who genuinely said, "Let me see what I can do."
That warmed me. And while I was compiling a list yesterday of possible summer activities for Cody, I thought I have good people.
Today, the sun broke through the clouds when a lady from The Boys and Girls Club in the town where I work called me back and listened to my whole story and then said they would make a spot for him. For $70 bucks registration and $25 a week, I can put this kid into a summer program. Where he can be a kid.
Does this make things easy? No. Not by a long shot.
There is this whole reality of me not knowing this kid, of me not trusting this kid, of him not trusting me. There is a whole lot of reality.
And it scared the ever loving shit out of me.
But when that lady called today, I had a flash of hope. And even that tiny flash brought me to tears. The road is long and scary and REAL but I was really grateful today for a little help.

Labels: adoption, Amanda, Asperger's, Being Mommy, Emilee, my crazy life, Triniti

I had logged onto The Facebook to check out how all my peeps are doing and a little chat box popped up. I heard it since I was in the kitchen and skipped over to see who was trying to grab my attention. It was my sister, Blue's mom. It said simply, "Hi, this is Blue's mom... I was wondering when you might come and visit Blue. She really misses you."
Every heart string I have was severely tugged upon.
I can't begin to tell you how right it made me feel about my choice to move there.
Her mom and I had a short chat where she said that Blue talks about me all the time and is super proud of me and based on all of the things that she has said about me, her mom knows I can do anything I set my mind to including moving there in 2016. I told her about my plans to bring the girls up there for a few weeks over the summer of 2011 so we can poke around and I can check out the place I want to move to.
I have a hard time with patience.
When I know what I want to do, I try to start doing it so having a six year waiting period is rough but at the same time, those six years are all the time I have left where Amanda and Emilee will be home with me. So I need to enjoy them and make sure I experience them and know that my reward at the end of it all will be that I get to be near my sister for as long as I want.

Labels: Amanda, Beach Trip, Being Mommy, Emilee, my crazy life, sisters

How is it even possible that five years have passed since we've spoken? Five years of not talking to you on the phone, not discussing boys and their drama, not telling you stories about the girls, not gossiping about our friends... Five years of missed Christmases and missed birthdays and missed anniversaries.
Five years.
Your pictures sit on my dresser and the other day Triniti was asking me about you and it broke my heart that she will not even know you. I pulled up this picture of you to show her that she had known you... That you had been there, held her, bought her clothes, watched her sleep, laughed when she got curly hair and loved her.
You loved her. I wish she could know you. I wish you could see how surprising she is. How she leaves everyone notes everywhere telling them she loves them.


You loved her. I wish you could see the amazing person she is becoming. The way she wants to give everyone everything and the way she laughs and how smart she is.


You loved her. I wish you could see how she is becoming a young woman. The way she is boy crazy and yet grounded, you would love to talk to her and hear how she is living and learning and growing.


You loved her. And she misses you more than words can say.

Labels: Amanda, death, Emilee, soul sisters, Triniti, Veronique

Can someone please make it to where I get one dollar every time one of my daughters declare that they hate:
1. Each other
2. Their mom
3. School
4. Doing chores
5. THE WORLD

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Emilee, Triniti

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Emilee

Fairy's son.
Amanda Panda, Manders, My Baby.
Notice the tiny pic of her on the camera display.
The Cake Lady and her daughter. Say it with me ya'll: Awwwwww!
Can someone please tell me how this child went from a baby to an almost grown up? PLEASE??
Hello, we are teenagers, we hail from the planet Drive Your Mamma Crazy.
The Cake Lady's daughter made Emilee a little more punk rock.

Do you have a Triniti with pink hair? I think not.


I love this child.


If I could edit, I would get rid of the chocolate soy milk mustache in this photo.

The Cake Lady and I taking pictures of each other at the same time.
I love The Cake Lady.
Fairy says I don't blog about her enough even though a search rendered something like 60+ posts about her. Since she mentioned it, I'm gonna start posting a ton of pics of her. Because she hates having her picture taken. Hehehehe.
If I had mad skillz, I could make this photo warmer and less blue. Alas, I lack mad photoshoppin' skillz.

This is Daisy the dog.
I love her.
I love Emilee's eyes in this picture on the day I picked her up from camp.

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Emilee, soul sisters, The Cake Lady, Triniti

We go to school EARLY in the country.
This was taken at 6:45 as Amanda and Emilee were leaving to go get on the bus that takes them to middle school.
Trin is still in elementary and her school is two blocks away so we walk.
Amanda started seventh grade this year and was accompanied, much to her dismay, by Emilee who started sixth. Nothing is more painful than having your little sister on the bus :) Trin started second and so far (two days in), this has been the most calm she's been about a major change in her schedule. So far, so good :)

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Emilee, sisters, Triniti

I'm usually far more organized about school starting than I am this year. In previous years, the weekend before school starts is full of hanging out time. We try to do the most vegging out possible and just relax because we know in just a matter of hours, everything in our lives is going to get hectic and start revolving more around schedules and due dates and chaos instead of, oh I don't know, sleeping.
I live a little vicariously through my daughters during the summer. When Amanda calls me at ten with her sleepy I-just-woke-up voice on, I can picture her still laying in bed with her hair all messed up, buried under her comforter. And really the only reason she is awake is because a little seven year old girl has climbed into her bed with her and poked her repeatedly in the side of the head until she woke up.
I envy them that but also I am glad that they have it.
The whirlwind of activity that used to be involved in getting the girls up on a Summer morning at six so they could go to daycare ended last Summer and I vowed that I would try and make sure that they wouldn't have to do it again.
They love Summer.
They love to be able to sleep until ten.
They love just hanging out at the house bumming around and goofing off.
And who wouldn't?
On the days where no one calls to tell me what a buttface their sister is being and I get home to find them sprawled out on the couch watching iCarly in their pajamas at five-thirty, I think I am doing something right.
Sure, they may have overlooked the act of brushing their teeth that day but look how happy they are. They just get to be pals and their stress level indicator is totally on zero.
Monday, that stress level indicator device is going to say WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? as school starts and their pajamas stop being every day wear.
We will be back in the world of homework, band practice, after school sports, theater, packed lunches, friends, bus schedules, gym clothes, lunch money, brushing hair and knowing where our shoes are.
It's going to be nuts.
And I feel a little bad that instead of us having this weekend to veg out together, we are going to be in San Antonio fighting through the throngs of shoppers that either put off their school shopping until the last minute or are out taking advantage of the tax free weekend.
Summer is over.
And while I won't miss the heat, I will miss the mellow vibe we've had going on.
Second, sixth and seventh grade? Here we come.

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Emilee, Triniti

First email is here.

This isn't technically the second email since there have been a few emails between myself, my trainer, my caseworker and the caseworker who is compiling families for the child's caseworker.
There are a lot of caseworkers involved.

Anyway, here is the email I got this morning...

Thank you for your interest in helping to provide waiting children with adoptive homes. I did receive your home study. It will be processed and forwarded to the child/ren’s placement liaison and caseworker.

* If your family is identified as a strong match for the child/ren then the listed caseworker/ agency representative for the licensed family will be contacted.

* The family’s caseworker will be invited to participate in a selection staffing.

* The family with the best-matched strengths that meet the needs of the child/ren will be selected as the adoptive family.

* The family’s caseworker will be notified that their family has been selected. They will also be instructed on the next steps in the process.


We are officially in the process... now it just comes down to matching her with the best family for her needs. They will have a staffing meeting to go over potential families for her and then we will find out whether we are a good match.
If we aren't, our family will be presented at the next staffing meeting for all available children that haven't yet been place on the TARE website.

For that staffing, they requested a Family Flier, which I made yesterday which shows our family and gives some basic information.

It was a little harder than I thought so I tried not to over think it and instead just went with the first things that came to mind and kept it mild.
I would have needed five pages to say everything I wanted to say and it would have made me cry to write it all :)
Anyway, we are officially on the ride now.

Labels: adoption, Amanda, Being Mommy, Chica, Emilee, Triniti

In the next week or two, my house will consist of the following inhabitants:
Myself, Amanda Panda, Emo, Trin-Trin, Madame Chicita Puppy, Crush the Turtle, Woodstock the very vane cockatiel, and Peanut the World's Grumpiest Parrot.
At which point, my intentions are to go through every room in my house one by one, all the closets, all the cabinets, under the beds, the shelves... you name it. I want to know exactly where everything is and get rid of a bunch of stuff we don't need.
It's no weekend project people.
It's a SEVERAL weekends project.
And that's cool. Because, in case you haven't noticed, I don't have much of a social life :) And once I'm done going through my house, I will be going through my shed and seeing what the hell lives in my carport.
Now that it is finally going to just be me and my girls and gang of pets we've managed to accumulate, I want to make it our house again. And I want to enjoy all of the hard work that is going to go into not just restructuring the things in our home, but also in restructuring the way we take care of our home as a family (read: chores hehehehe).
So what am I going to want at the end of a long day of cleaning and organizing and restructuring?
Something that could go into one of these recycled newsprint wine bags.

Right?
I'm already dreaming of sangria.
Jiffinner? Fairy? The Cake Lady?
You know you want to come drinks sangria _{and maybe help me reorganize my house on your weekends off} right?
Hehehehe...
Do you know about something bad ass and recycled?
Shoot me an email. Link's on the right.

Labels: Amanda, being a Home Owner, being Earth Friendly, Being Mommy, Emilee, family drama, RBATOTD, recycling, shopping, soul sisters, stuff I like, Triniti

Remember how I told ya'll we were going to be giving Amanda her own room?
Well, I found a bed!
We're picking it up tomorrow.
Check it out :)


It's from IKEA, link is here. Of course, I didn't get it IKEA because THERE ISN'T ONE HERE!!! ARRGHH. But that's ok, because it's used, so we are RECYCLING!
Yay for used furniture!
If I wasn't SO FREAKIN' BROKE right now, I would get Emilee's new bed too because I am finding some GREAT deals. For Em's bed, I am thinking more traditional style wood that I can paint BRIGHT YELLOW! Emilee is so yellow to me.
More thoughts on Em's new room coming soon.

ps. Amanda wants music notes bedding. Help? I can't find any... Just plain black and white :)

Labels: Amanda, being a Home Owner, being Earth Friendly, Being Mommy, Emilee, recycling

I can't seem to narrow down the boat-load of thoughts I have in my head down to one or two poignant thoughts.
Sorry.
I want to write about Rob Thomas and how his new cd touches me.
I want to write about how glad I am that Fairy has found this guy that it looks like she is going to stay with... maybe forever. And how their two sons are like these bookends, they just fit perfectly. I am so proud of her for so many reasons right now. It makes me want to cry. In a good way.
I want to write about how my family is dispersing over the next few weeks. And how my sister and I just can't seem to find a relationship which kicks my ass. But also about how my brother and I have managed to and I never would have expected it.
I want to write about how this morning while Noah and I were driving to work, it suddenly occur ed to me that he may be headed in the direction of finding someone. My little brother, moving into a decent sized town with his two dogs and his apparent good looks and all that single guy no baggage thing going on. I just hope I like her.
I want to write about my trip to Ireland this time next year and start brainstorming with Jiffinner about what we're gonna do while we are there and maybe even start making reservations.
I want to write about how I miss my sister Blue and I wish I could go visit her.
I want to write about how I'm a little bothered by the fact that Mr.I and I haven't talked in awhile.
I want to write about Amanda and Em's dad and how his girlfriend asked me to let the girls call him for Father's Day and how I said no.
I want to write about the ideas I have for the girls rooms.
I want to write about the diet I'm about to go on which is less of a diet and more of an assisted lifestyle change.
I want to write about how the stuff at work is almost completely finished and I while it isn't what I wanted, it's better than what I didn't want.
I want to write about how I'm starting to feel a little lonely because HOLY SHIT I've been single for FOREVER. And while most of the time I am ok with that, it's bothering me a little right now.
And in that vein, I want to write about the very nice email I got from a very nice man on plenty of fish and how I wasn't even remotely attracted to him and that makes me feel bad.
I want to write about the movie coming out, My Sister's Keeper, which has previews that make me cry... and last night, when we were watching the previews and Cameron Diaz shaved her head, I told Amanda and Emilee that I would do that too if they had cancer and Amanda cried.
There is a lot I want to write about.
It's all coming people.
I'm about to explode from everything I've been holding in.

Labels: Amanda, Being a Chic, being a Home Owner, Being Mommy, Emilee, my mother, Noah, Ruthie, Triniti

Every year when we get our pictures done for softball season, Lifetouch (who seems to hold the monopoly on any photo's taken of your children through high school) offers to make us photo buttons for the low, low price of eleven bucks. The first year I bought one and tried not to think about how I was WASTING money. Eleven bucks for a button? Really?
This year when we got our order forms, they were selling the buttons for eleven bucks for two. You know, for the kids with two parents. What the hell am I gonna do with two buttons? I can barely remember to bring one to the games to wear.
So I decided rather than cough up the cash for two buttons I didn't need for eleven bucks, I would do some checking online and see if I could find a better deal.
And boy did I.
Zazzle.com is a pretty amazing website for customized gifts. And their buttons? They are very inexpensive and printed on 100% recycled paper.

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Emilee, RBATOTD, softball, Triniti