On the weekends, when the sun comes up and through my windows, I LOVE being able to take pictures. There is just nothing as lovely as early morning sun. Usually this is when I will take shots of Triniti because, let's face it, she is the only kid I have that wakes up early in the morning. But this past Sunday, when the sunlight was streaming in, I had a livingroom full of doggies :)

You will of course remember my baby girl, Madame Chicita Puppy...


Chica is a sunbathing gal.


My "new" baby is Daisy Dog.


She is still slightly confounded by this whole having her picture taken thing...


But she has learned, as all that reside in my house eventually do, to just give in.

Labels: Being Mommy, Chica, Daisy Dog, photography

First email is here.

This isn't technically the second email since there have been a few emails between myself, my trainer, my caseworker and the caseworker who is compiling families for the child's caseworker.
There are a lot of caseworkers involved.

Anyway, here is the email I got this morning...

Thank you for your interest in helping to provide waiting children with adoptive homes. I did receive your home study. It will be processed and forwarded to the child/ren’s placement liaison and caseworker.

* If your family is identified as a strong match for the child/ren then the listed caseworker/ agency representative for the licensed family will be contacted.

* The family’s caseworker will be invited to participate in a selection staffing.

* The family with the best-matched strengths that meet the needs of the child/ren will be selected as the adoptive family.

* The family’s caseworker will be notified that their family has been selected. They will also be instructed on the next steps in the process.


We are officially in the process... now it just comes down to matching her with the best family for her needs. They will have a staffing meeting to go over potential families for her and then we will find out whether we are a good match.
If we aren't, our family will be presented at the next staffing meeting for all available children that haven't yet been place on the TARE website.

For that staffing, they requested a Family Flier, which I made yesterday which shows our family and gives some basic information.

It was a little harder than I thought so I tried not to over think it and instead just went with the first things that came to mind and kept it mild.
I would have needed five pages to say everything I wanted to say and it would have made me cry to write it all :)
Anyway, we are officially on the ride now.

Labels: adoption, Amanda, Being Mommy, Chica, Emilee, Triniti

So apparently the lady who sent me the picture of the puppy and I had a misunderstanding on the whole age thing...

Labels: Amanda, Blue Moose, Chica, Lila, Noah, Tucker

Labels: Amanda, Chica, cockatiels, Triniti

Four years and some odd months ago, I packed up everything I owned and moved my daughters and myself into this tiny white house next door to a diesel mechanic's shop.
I was terrified.
I was twenty three and although this would be the second time I had lived completely alone, I was literally starting completely over.
New job, new house, new life.
Everything in the house was white.. The outside, the inside... everything. It was very symbolic of my clean slate. I remember it being very bright when I first moved in. I didn't own much and the little I did own didn't take up much room.
It made me stand up a little straighter to be there, to have all of the control over my life again.
That house was my first "home" with my family and it is where we live the longest since having become a family.
There were so many firsts there.

Triniti said her first words in that house.
I realized that I could love and not be loved in return.
Amanda liked her first boy.
Emilee chopped off all of her hair.

And I hated that house. It was too small, had an insane amount of issues, didn't heat or cool particularly well, didn't have a dishwasher... It was like the house was telling me that she would take care of me, but she wasn't about to pamper me. I had to grow, I had to learn, I had to tough some things out.
And the thing is, Mr. I said to me once when I was bitching about it, "Kate, what would you have given two years ago to have this place? To be on your own and taking care of your girls? To not be trapped or not have options?"
And I would have given anything.

I lost my best friend.
Triniti colored her first picture.
Amanda stayed home alone for the first time.
Emilee played catcher.

When I was with AZ and scared shitless about where my life was heading, when I was with NY and wanted so badly to not have to be any more... I begged The Universe to save me, to help me, to give me any way out. And I think that The Universe did.
The Universe offered me this tiny house, no bigger than a vacation cottage, and she said to me Kate, start your life.
And I really did.
Over those years, I learned so much about the person I had been,the person I wanted to become and the person I truly was.
I learned that I am responsible.
I learned that I am capable.
I learned that I can be scared but I don't back down.
I learned that I can get the things I want by working for them.
I learned how to be a mother alone.
I learned that I choose my family.
I learned who and what is important to me.
I learned that my life is up to me.

I laid in bed some nights absolutely terrified about how I would survive, how I would not fail my daughters. I laid in bed other nights so very thankful that I was surviving and being the best mother I could be. I went from questioning my ability to do anything to knowing I could do everything. For myself. On my own.

I set goals for myself in every aspect and followed through with them on my own.
Triniti was diagnosed with Asperger's.
Amanda wore her first bra.
Emilee taught us about reincarnation and auras.

I look back at all of the years I spent being unhappy, all of the years where I was in situations where I so desperately wanted out but didn't know how to run and I thank my lucky stars that I had that little house. That when I needed most to start over, I could. And not just start over, but start entirely. I began my life there. I became myself there.

Saturday when I was there packing up the last of my stuff and cleaning that little house, I started to see the house as I had all those years ago when I moved into it. It reminds me of an old hard woman inviting me in, telling me I can stay but that she isn't going to help me, I'm on my own. I was scared of that old woman four years ago, I didn't believe in myself or my judgement. But now, as I am leaving her, she is a friend... I started to remember the first night I laid in my bed there and listened to the new noises of my life. I remembered the first time I had to paint the walls because Triniti colored all over them. I remembered actually having enough room to set up a Christmas tree because I had no furniture. I remembered Veronique and I laying on my bed reading books about boys and laughing at the idea of actually following the advice in them. I remembered assembling furniture on Christmas Eve. I remembered getting us our first doggy and how much we all loved her. I remembered buying my first brand new washer and dryer and my first car. I remembered being in love for the first time since being independent. And how much it hurt when it didn't work out. I remembered all of these things and I realized that I was going to miss that house that I shared so much with.

I bought a brand new mattress.
Triniti grew her first curls...
Amanda went to her first concert...
Emilee taught herself to ride a bike...

I feel like that little house was my cocoon.
When I moved there, I was just a grubby little caterpillar.
And while I certainly don't feel like a glorious butterfly right now, I certainly feel like I can fly.

Labels: Amanda, Asperger's, Being a Chic, Being Mommy, Chica, community, death, dreams, Emilee, I actually had sex, my crazy life, My pathetic excuse for a love life, The Universe, Triniti, Veronique

I know, I've barely been posting but I am ridiculously busy both professionally, parentally and personally. Yup, I've got all of the P's covered.
As I mentioned in the doggy post, I am moving. (*knock on wood!*) We are set to close on the house on the 21st and move in that weekend. On account of that, I have been packing like a mo-fo. So my month has went kinda like this:
December 29th - January 2nd -- packing
January 3rd & 4th -- work
January 5th & 6th -- packing
January 7th - 11th -- start working with new construction boss, become hella-busy
January 12th - 13th -- packing

Here is how the rest of my month will play out:
January 14th - 18th -- work, includes taking Em to work on the 14th for doctor's apointment, taking Trin to therapy on the 15th and having a construction meeting with the regional VP on the 18th with a training session afterwards hosted by moi for new construction assistant.
January 19th - 20th -- PACKING
January 21st - January 25th -- work, includes closing on house on the 21st, parent teacher conferences for all three girls, begin moving boxes into new house, changing all of my utilites over and ending with our company Quarterly Meeting on Friday
January 26th - January 27th -- OFFICIAL MOVE IN WEEKEND, you know, where you put all of your furniture together and start sticking your shit into cabinets, the official unpacking will happen the following weekend.

All of this is going on while potty training our new puppy, Tucker. He is hella cute and does all the typical annoying puppy stuff. His favorite things: chewing on shit he isn't supposed to, eating his food and water bowls when they are empty, pooping in my room, giving me puppy eyes whenever I catch him, pushing Chica towards suicide, finding puddles to roll around in, being super adorable. We dig him.

Hey, did I mention that I AM BUYING A HOUSE?
(*knock on wood*)

Labels: Being Mommy, Chica, Emilee, my crazy life, Triniti, Tucker

"Tucker? Tucker are you barking? I said no barking. No barking. You be a good puppy boy Tucker. And Chica puppy girl? I know you are such a good girl. Chica's a good puppy girl. No barking. Be good puppies and no barking."

Noah mysteriously vanished from the house while I was listening to this message.

Labels: Chica, Noah, Tucker