Labels: death, Veronique

How is it even possible that five years have passed since we've spoken? Five years of not talking to you on the phone, not discussing boys and their drama, not telling you stories about the girls, not gossiping about our friends... Five years of missed Christmases and missed birthdays and missed anniversaries.
Five years.
Your pictures sit on my dresser and the other day Triniti was asking me about you and it broke my heart that she will not even know you. I pulled up this picture of you to show her that she had known you... That you had been there, held her, bought her clothes, watched her sleep, laughed when she got curly hair and loved her.
You loved her. I wish she could know you. I wish you could see how surprising she is. How she leaves everyone notes everywhere telling them she loves them.


You loved her. I wish you could see the amazing person she is becoming. The way she wants to give everyone everything and the way she laughs and how smart she is.


You loved her. I wish you could see how she is becoming a young woman. The way she is boy crazy and yet grounded, you would love to talk to her and hear how she is living and learning and growing.


You loved her. And she misses you more than words can say.

Labels: Amanda, death, Emilee, soul sisters, Triniti, Veronique

You'd have been twenty five today.

I miss you terribly.
Love,
~KHE

Labels: death, soul sisters, Veronique

On March 10th, 2007 my grandmother passed away. I was so very sad to have her no longer be in my life but I knew she was ready to go and I had so much time to say goodbye to her that while her passing made me sad, I was at peace with it.
I love my grandmother and I think of her often and fondly.
Those days that I was in Dallas while we all sat with her and held her hand and told her it was ok to leave and then after she had passed, while we sat together and reminisced and spent time as a family, I spent a lot of time thinking.
I wanted to consider how I felt about her being gone, about how I missed Veronique, about how death made me feel about The Universe and myself and the future and my kids. I needed to reflect. And because it was quiet and I could think there, I spent that time outside.
And everywhere, there were these beautiful trees.


I was in love with them. They were beautiful, regal, innocently and purely white and the thing that I will always associate with my grandmother passing. And not in a melancholy way but in a fond way.


When we got back from Dallas, I looked them up online and found that they were Bradford Pear trees. So I ordered some seeds online and tried to grow a couple. My attempt was a failed one, but I vowed that once I had a house where I could grow them in my yard, I would.

Then, last November, I saw these stunning trees with their amazingly dark red leaves and fell in love. Five months later and I am still asking you all to help me figure out what they are. When suddenly, I am sitting at my desk writing an email and it hits me. It's the same tree. It's my grandmother's tree.

It's funny how that works. How I would fall in love with the same tree twice and it looked so different both times.
I think that sometimes people pop in and say hello to you and maybe you don't even realize it.



I miss you...

Labels: death, my grandmother, The Universe, Veronique

January 12
Another one of my blonde moments

Around 2:10pm today (figuring i was 10 min. late to my neuroanatomy class) I walk in to a full room of about 40 students who all look right at me like I am just the rudest person ever for disrupting their o-so-fun lecture. I am still jamming to disturbed on my mp3 player and just minding my own business, finding a place to sit in the overcrowded room. I spot a seat all the way in the back way in the corner, so I squeeze my way through the whole row of people, bumping them in the head with my purse I am sure, lol. I finally get to my seat, make a loud noise sitting down and getting all my stuff out....when reality hits. I stare ahead in disbelief as I realize...the professor that was teaching definetely wasnt mine unless he had a sex change and shrunk a foot..."HOLY FUCKING SHIT I AM IN THE WRONG CLASS" OMG So I thought, well maybe its a sub, so I look at the people in the room...I didnt recognize anyone! So I kept my cool....all while thinking of a plan to GET out of there without looking even more like an idiot. So I ask the chick sitting next to me when the class lets out and she says 3:45.."AHHHHHHHH" No way I am not sitting thru some class that isnt even MINE for 2 hours! So I get up and dodge all the people in the row again this time saying sorry everytime my purse hit one of them, and ran out the door, down the elevator and out to my car. I felt like the biggest dumb ass ever. So what do I do...Call Kate and tell her my blonde moment so she can laugh at me, and post it on the internet so everyone can know what an idiot I can be sometimes. LOL so what was I doing in the wrong class u ask...well...see I have neuroanatomy on mondays in that room at that time, and all my other classes on mondays go on wednesdays too so I "assumed" that this class was the same way, but...obviously not.

~ME~

Maybe I should have dyed my hair blonde so I would have an excuse for this sillyness

January 13 A morning in the life of Veronique

8:15 am - Alarm beeps its HORRIBLY annoying insane beep

8:17 am - Veronique stumbles out of bed and hits snooze

8:22 am - Alarm beeps AGAIN...just as annoying as the first time

8:24 am- Veronique squints to look at the time...stumbles out of bed with her eyes still closed and re-sets the alarm for 15 min. later

8:40 am- Alarm beeps once again

8:41 am- Veronique makes a horribly annoyed face, kicks the air and screams "NO!" then drags herself to the alarm once again while thinking of a good excuse not to get ready in the 20 min she has left to be in her car and on the way to school.

8:43 am- Veronique thinks of a good excuse (altho she cant remember what it was now, LOL) , turns OFF the alarm, and jumps back into her cozy bed.

9:10 am- Phone rings....Grrrrrrr

9:12 am- Veronique picks up the phone and mumbles "hello?" Kate screams back "GIRL you better be getting up cuz Emilee is sick today, i had to call into work, and I am bored....DONT you have class anyways? GET UP GET UP GET UP!!!"

9:13 am- A minute of silence as Veronique slowly crawls out of the still asleep phase

9:14 am- Veronique squints at the clock again and screams sleepily "HEATHER DAMNIT! its 9:15!" followed by Kates "oh you are so lazy" laugh

9:14 am - 11:10 am - YES thats right, Kate kept Veronique on the phone for 2 hours untill she sounded awake enough not to fall back asleep. But what Kate didnt know is that Veronique was FAKING awakeness....yes thats right, heehehehe

11:11 am ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

1:00 pm- Phone rings......Veronique-"Hello?" Kate "OMG! were you SLEEPING AGAIN!?!"

...........Ummm........YUP.... sure was........

Have a great day everyone,

~ME~

January 15 Grodyness... is that a word?

Well I made it home safe, kinda surprising considering I was still drunk when I woke up this morning. If I hadent had the most discusting grodey feeling all over my body and the desperate need for a shower then I probably wouldnt have driven home so early, but I NEEDED a shower. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that there was salt stuck to my scalp because of some freako-guy's obsession with throwing salt on people's heads and then running off giggling and snickering to himself......um ok? They offered to let me take one there, but considering the fact that there was a line of about 5 guys waiting to take one already, I passed. Come on...we all know what goes on in the shower after a long night of getting wasted and not getting laid...ew!

Labels: Veronique

Four years and some odd months ago, I packed up everything I owned and moved my daughters and myself into this tiny white house next door to a diesel mechanic's shop.
I was terrified.
I was twenty three and although this would be the second time I had lived completely alone, I was literally starting completely over.
New job, new house, new life.
Everything in the house was white.. The outside, the inside... everything. It was very symbolic of my clean slate. I remember it being very bright when I first moved in. I didn't own much and the little I did own didn't take up much room.
It made me stand up a little straighter to be there, to have all of the control over my life again.
That house was my first "home" with my family and it is where we live the longest since having become a family.
There were so many firsts there.

Triniti said her first words in that house.
I realized that I could love and not be loved in return.
Amanda liked her first boy.
Emilee chopped off all of her hair.

And I hated that house. It was too small, had an insane amount of issues, didn't heat or cool particularly well, didn't have a dishwasher... It was like the house was telling me that she would take care of me, but she wasn't about to pamper me. I had to grow, I had to learn, I had to tough some things out.
And the thing is, Mr. I said to me once when I was bitching about it, "Kate, what would you have given two years ago to have this place? To be on your own and taking care of your girls? To not be trapped or not have options?"
And I would have given anything.

I lost my best friend.
Triniti colored her first picture.
Amanda stayed home alone for the first time.
Emilee played catcher.

When I was with AZ and scared shitless about where my life was heading, when I was with NY and wanted so badly to not have to be any more... I begged The Universe to save me, to help me, to give me any way out. And I think that The Universe did.
The Universe offered me this tiny house, no bigger than a vacation cottage, and she said to me Kate, start your life.
And I really did.
Over those years, I learned so much about the person I had been,the person I wanted to become and the person I truly was.
I learned that I am responsible.
I learned that I am capable.
I learned that I can be scared but I don't back down.
I learned that I can get the things I want by working for them.
I learned how to be a mother alone.
I learned that I choose my family.
I learned who and what is important to me.
I learned that my life is up to me.

I laid in bed some nights absolutely terrified about how I would survive, how I would not fail my daughters. I laid in bed other nights so very thankful that I was surviving and being the best mother I could be. I went from questioning my ability to do anything to knowing I could do everything. For myself. On my own.

I set goals for myself in every aspect and followed through with them on my own.
Triniti was diagnosed with Asperger's.
Amanda wore her first bra.
Emilee taught us about reincarnation and auras.

I look back at all of the years I spent being unhappy, all of the years where I was in situations where I so desperately wanted out but didn't know how to run and I thank my lucky stars that I had that little house. That when I needed most to start over, I could. And not just start over, but start entirely. I began my life there. I became myself there.

Saturday when I was there packing up the last of my stuff and cleaning that little house, I started to see the house as I had all those years ago when I moved into it. It reminds me of an old hard woman inviting me in, telling me I can stay but that she isn't going to help me, I'm on my own. I was scared of that old woman four years ago, I didn't believe in myself or my judgement. But now, as I am leaving her, she is a friend... I started to remember the first night I laid in my bed there and listened to the new noises of my life. I remembered the first time I had to paint the walls because Triniti colored all over them. I remembered actually having enough room to set up a Christmas tree because I had no furniture. I remembered Veronique and I laying on my bed reading books about boys and laughing at the idea of actually following the advice in them. I remembered assembling furniture on Christmas Eve. I remembered getting us our first doggy and how much we all loved her. I remembered buying my first brand new washer and dryer and my first car. I remembered being in love for the first time since being independent. And how much it hurt when it didn't work out. I remembered all of these things and I realized that I was going to miss that house that I shared so much with.

I bought a brand new mattress.
Triniti grew her first curls...
Amanda went to her first concert...
Emilee taught herself to ride a bike...

I feel like that little house was my cocoon.
When I moved there, I was just a grubby little caterpillar.
And while I certainly don't feel like a glorious butterfly right now, I certainly feel like I can fly.

Labels: Amanda, Asperger's, Being a Chic, Being Mommy, Chica, community, death, dreams, Emilee, I actually had sex, my crazy life, My pathetic excuse for a love life, The Universe, Triniti, Veronique

Labels: Veronique

As most of you know this Saturday will be the 26th of January. Three years ago on January 26th I lost my best friend, my soul sister. There was a tragic accident that stole her life so very prematurely and really and truly broke my heart for the very first time.
Most of the time, I can deal with this.
I can look at her beautiful pictures and remember fondly the times we spent together and ward off the anger and sadness and resentfulness that she was taken from me before I was ready. I can take it as it is and just miss her.
God how I miss her.
But today is the day that I close on my new house. Today is one of the biggest days ever for me. And not just because buying a house is "the single most important purchase you will make in your lifetime" or whatever but because of what this step actually means to me.
One thousand, six hundred and twenty nine days ago I was alone. I had no money, no job, three kids and no fucking idea what I was going to do. I was lucky that I was offered a job within days and that Tempest leant me $600 bucks otherwise I honestly don't know what I would have done. And the whole time I had Veronique by my side. She helped me pack my house and move all of my stuff into my new house. She helped me put it all away and then was consistantly there for me until she was gone. I mean the girl drove all the way down from Dallas so she wouldn't miss my daughters' first day of school. And then The Universe just took her away.
And now, whenever I accomplish something or something huge happens in my life I get so mad that i can't have her here to not only see it but also to experience it with me. I resent it so much and there isn't anyone to resent. I want her to be on the other side of one thousand, six hundred and twenty nine days with me.
Today I am going to buy my first house and I am so happy about it but if I could just have her here with me it would feel complete.

Labels: Being a Chic, Being Mommy, community, death, dreams, my crazy life, sisters, soul sisters, The Universe, Veronique

Labels: birthday, Veronique

Oh man, yesterday was a yucky day for me. One of those days where you need to project yourself to the end of it all day just to make it through. It started off normal enough... with the exception of Amanda suddenly morphing into a teenager when it comes to getting her ass out of bed in the morning. I think setting her mattress on fire and the Jaws Of Life were about the only things that would make her move any faster than a retarded snail.
After pushing Amanda and Emilee out the door and to the bus stop, I came in and got Trin ready for daycare and then put her in the living room to watch Little Einsteins. I knew what I was wearing to work so when I got in the shower, that wasn't one of the things I needed to figure out so my mind was wandering. And then it just landed there, on that conversation.
It's funny how it can hit you.
Every day I think about her. Every day I see her pictures on my dresser, on my desktop, on my desk, on my blog. I think of her when I see her necklace hanging from my rearview mirror or when I pick out what to wear for the day and see her clothes hanging in my closet. I think of her when I drive past the place where I sat on the side of the road and screamed at The Universe to change it and the place where I called the first person that I knew should know and told them. I think of her when I email her mom and ask her how she is feeling today and hope it is better than yesterday. I think of her a hundred times a day and I miss her so much that the empty spot in my soul just aches.
But I can handle that now. I can think of her and push the tears back and try and ignore the void. I can function. I can manage to work and play and smile.
I don't think I am the same person I was before that day but I try as much as I can to be the person I am now and still keep as much of that other girl that I can.
And then there are days like yesterday that just kick my ass.
Days where I don't want to be anywhere except sedated. Days where I need to be distracted but there isn't a thing in this world that could hold my attention. Days where I am craving the hangover I could have the next morning if I would just go out and drink it all away.
I just baby stepped my way through all of yesterday. One thing at a time. One task completely finished before gingerly moving to the next one. And I made it. Of course I did. We always do, don't we?
I talked to her mother for an hour yesterday.
We cried and we laughed and we missed each other even more.
You don't get over this. It doesn't go away the way everyone says it will. It doesn't hurt less and you don't replace the heartache with anything.
You survive it.
And when you are sitting there remembering how she gave you that candy apple candle for Mother's Day four years ago with the card that said she loved you and you were such a great mom, you cry.
You adjust and you cope and you feel that pain because it always hurts and it always aches but you find a way to deal with it.
Days like yesterday suck.
They hurt and they are hard.
But they pass and I can move on to days like today. Days where I can see that the sun is shining or hear my friends talking and appreciate those things.

Labels: Amanda, Emilee, The Universe, Triniti, Veronique

"Hello?"
"Hey there GirlyQ... What are you up to?"
"I'm just about to leave... What are you doing?"
"Nothing, just bored. Figured I'd call you while I'm cleaning up..."
"Well, can I call you later? I'm walking out the door in like two seconds."
"Yeah sure... Where are you going?"
"Remember that guy I sent you the picture of yesterday?"
"Yeah... I still think you are way cuter than him."
"Oh, whatever, he is totally cute. Anyway, I am meeting him. He is going to teach me how to ride his motorcycle."
"You're kidding right?"
*laughing* "No, you know I have been wanting to learn how to ride one. It's no big deal, we are going to some parking lot or something where he can show me how to ride it."
"You're so completely crazy you know?"
"Yeah, I know. Anyway, can I call you after my class in the morning?"
"Yeah."
"Ok, well I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Ok.... Hey?"
"Yeah?"
"Be careful, ok?"
"I will. Bye!"
"Bye."

Labels: Veronique

Yesterday, readers, the world lost a truly wonderful person and I lost a very close friend. There is not and never again will be anyone like Veronique Celis.

December 14, 1984 - January 26, 2005

Labels: death, Veronique

WTF? Ok, so I leave work today and I am talking to Veronique about how I wasn't going to be able to get the Focus (so basically whining on the phone)... and my other line beeps. I honestly thought it was going to be either the gymnastics place or the karate place I called today. I left messages at both places for class times and prices for Amanda who has decided she wants an extraciricular activity now.
So anyway, my other line beeps and I say to Veronique 'crap, my other line is beeping...' Then I look to see who it is and HOLY SHIT. I'll be damned if the called ID doesn't say Mr. I... So, I tell Veronique something like 'OMG, it's Mr. I.." I have no idea what she said because I think I hung up on her... -sorry, btw-
So, I click over and
I say (nonchalantly), "Hello?"
He says: "Hey..."
I say: "Hey..."
He says: "I haven't talked to you in awhile..."
I say: "Yeah I know..."
Ok, yeah, so I am not going to write out the whole damn conversation like that! LOL Anyway, I told him I thought he had been away on a guilt trip like last time... Last time his guilt trip lasted 3 days, I figure we're up to five now... (Shit, if I keep sleeping with him, there may be entire years in between us talking before long, lol) I asked him if he took luggage with him this time.. He laughed. I asked him what he has been up to and he said "Kaaaaate, you know what I have been up to... same stuff, school and work..." So I said something to the effect that last week was just like any other week except he didn't have time to call me... Then his laugh went down a knotch to that nervous oh shit laugh... He asked why I hadn't called. AND THEN IT HIT ME! That fucker was testing me, to see how long before I would break down and call him! Fuck, if I had known that, this last week would have been a lot more enjoyable... knowing that he was waiting to hear from me and wondering why I wasn't calling... Oh well. He never apologized for blowing me of. And I used those words too. "So you just blew me off hard this whole week..." He made a joke and if you don't see it, put your mind in the gutter for a second.
-insert my therapist here-
"So Kate, how do you feel about this?"
Well, I don't know. How should I feel? Pissed? Well I am pissed. Hurt? Well I am hurt? Like he used me? Well he did. But how do I feel about Mr. I? The same way I have always felt about him. And while he still pisses me off and still has the ability and the idiocy to hurt me, I can't get him out of my fucking system. He is like a drug I am hooked on. Just give me a hit and I am ok for while, but before long I wan't another hit.
AND IT'S NOT LIKE THE UNIVERSE IS HELPING ME OUT HERE!!!
I am putting myself out there. Practically begging to get struck by lightening and the universe is just like pish posh, yeah we see you on yahoo... so what?? oh you want a man... lol, yeah good luck with that... Damn universe.
So here I sit. At home on a perfectly nice Friday night writing in my blog about a guy who I mean nothing to. You'd think that the more I write those words, the clearer this would all be for me. But I can't help the way I feel about him. I can only hope it goes away... and soon.

Good night readers... Have a nice weekend :)

~Kate

Labels: Mr. I, My pathetic excuse for a love life, Veronique

So, apparently, I just spoke with the price of Egypt. Who, in case you were wondering, wants to buy a Mustang GT and is curious to know if I can make it "bigger"... He also informed me that I would get awesome commission and that he loves me. Oh yeah and that he was in a phsyciatric ward. Yeah, so do the math and you can probably assume that I am going to be on someone's prank call website :P
So what do you do after you talk to the Prince Of Egypt (that's a movie right?) ? You make a cup of chocolate milk (of course) and put on some Bowling For Soup. Have you heard them? C'mon, I mean *besides* the 1985 song and The Girl All The Bad Guys Want... Ok, so Veronique and I saw them in concert last month when we went to check out Gavin DeGraw and Switchfoot and they were great! I was pleasantly surprised... You should download 'Almost' & 'Ohio'... Great songs :)
It's weird, I talk to some truly strange people. I have been out on a few dates with guys who wanted to buy a vehicle of some kind. Those went badly. I had a guy call me up and the first words out of his mouth were "I would like to see about buying an Expedition for my wife..." So about 15 minutes later, after I gave him all the info he needed he *actually* asks me if I am single! People are crazy.

Anyway, watch out for the prince of Egypt and download some Bowling For Soup!

~Kate
back to work

Labels: At work, music, Veronique

Ok, so I am going with BLUE font today as it is going to be fucking cold tomorrow. See what I started??? That's the last time I declare winter over until mid-March! Dang it. I do not like being cold. Maybe it's genetic. My mother wears two pairs of socks, all the time. Partially on account of an injury she got on her heal sometime in the mid eighties and also because she HATES being cold. This is a woman who doesn't use A/C... in TEXAS!
Anyway, I found myself doubling up on socks a few weeks ago. Gee, I hope that's the extent of how I mirror her. I found it is my hands that I hate being cold. (Ok, yeah, so could this be a more boring topic??? lol)

So, to change the subject... I am not going out on Friday as I had previously intended. Turns out my sister/babysitter has plans Friday. She ever-so-sweetly informed me that she rescheduled her plans from tonight to Friday so she could grab my girlies from daycare. Once a week, I have to close this place down, which means an 11 hour day and I don't get off until 7. I really don't mind much as it's a big chunk of hours all in one day. Better IMO to work an 11 hour day than two 6 hour days.

Ok, so I have to link all of you to Veronique's 'blog'. Turns out I am inspiring or something because after she read mine, she decided to make one of her own :) Read and comment and then go back and read some more :)

I was up very late last night chatting with Mr. I, who apparently doesn't need sleep. I find this to be an interesting phenomenon, not needing sleep, and I am incredibly envious of those afflicted with this type of "problem". I need sleep, several hours if I have any intention of functioning properly. A good 7-9 hours will do me. That used to be the recommended amount. 8 hours of sleep. However, they change those things so much. Eat this! No, wait! It's bad for you. Drink this! No, STOP! That's bad for you. You just have to cross your fingers I guess and hope like hell that you aren't screwing yourself up, lol.
Anyway, there was a point to that paragraph. Mr. I wants me to let him read my blog. I guess I mentioned it a couple of times and he is seemingly interested. So, VOTE PEOPLE. Go comment and let me know whether you think I should or should not link Mr. I to my personal thoughts/feelings/venting area. Your country needs you and so does my little insignificant blog :)

Oh and since I am in a linking mood, I would like to link you to another blog. If you scroll down among the monotony of my insanity and read any of the comments, you will see 'J', who has a marvelous blog. She is one funny, funny chic. Go read!

Ok, it's early, lots to do. I may treat you all later and write something else in here today!

Thanks for the comments!

~Kate

Labels: At work, Mr. I, my mother, My pathetic excuse for a love life, Veronique

I just hossed down a very expensive (and rather small) lunch... I rarely drop a twenty on less than 10oz of food and some coffee, but today? A CELEBRATION!!!
Why? You ask... Because we won the contest!!! You know, that one I haven't mentioned on here :P lol So let me explain, lol..
Ok, half of my job is working in a BDC (Business Development Center). Our BDC was recently certified by Ford and now is an official BDC. So (sparing you as many boring details as possible), Ford had a contest for the 4th quarter to see which BDC could score the most sales off of RTCM (Retail Trade Cycle Management) customer and Internet Sales (which is the other half of my job). We were riding second most of the Fourth Quarter, and even fifth for a few weeks, which isn't surprising given that it is only myself and Jennifer and our boss out here. Then, today, my boss checks to see the final score and WE WON! This is so awesome! A five hundred dollar bonus and (hopefully) some recognition and appreciation in a job where little is to be found..

Ok, so bare with me while I bounce around, NYE... I spent NYE with Veronique and my lovely daughters. I bought a big bottle of wine and "kid champagne" for the girlies. We dyed my hair blonde and watched Steel Magnolias. Amanda was tickled pink that she got to have "kid champagne" out of mommy's champagne glasses, lol.

And last (but def. not least), the new additions to my family, Irwin and Betsy :) yup, I bit the bullet and went to Lowes yesterday where I just fell in love with them. Several hundred dollars later, I am the proud new owner of a 3.2 cubic foot washing machine and a 7 cubic foot dryer :) Yeah, so I named them, lol... I had to pick something very country bumpkin because that was the mood I was in when I was hauling the old ones out and the new ones in. I was filthy and happy, figured thats about as bumpkin as it gets. Did laundry all night and was jazzed as could be about it :)

An update: Mr. I blew me off for like three days, then called me at 11:58 Saturday night. He said he'd felt guilty about cheating (-ahem- again) and that was why he hadn't called. Rubbed me the wrong way and I wasn't very happy that I got blew off, but it is helping me get past all of this. Anger and resentment are great tools for getting over crappy situations :p
I guess I am more bummed to be slowly finding out that this guy that I adore really doesn't care about me in any way close to how I care about him.

Ok, back to work!
~Kate

Thanks for the comments guys!!

Labels: At work, Being Mommy, Mr. I, My pathetic excuse for a love life, Veronique

So, those of you who know me and know me well, have had at least one conversation with me about my mother. Well last night, I'd had it. I have heard so many times, just tell her no, cut her off, tell her off, etc, etc. Last night, I did. It was interesting standing up to her in such a I'm-not-budging-on-this kind of way. I knew I was right, I know I *am* right and I am sticking to my guns this time. I am tired of having that woman have her way with me by using guilt trips. I carted her home and told her not to call me again until she went through some kind of attitude adjustment and came to grip with the fact that I don't owe her anything. I have more than paid my dues as a good little daughter.

So, it's NYE... When I was visiting fantasy land a few weeks ago, I was really wanting some hot little man to go out with tonight. I wanted that kiss at midnight. After this week though, I canceled my NYE plans and am looking forward to staying home with my girls and Veronique and having a slumber party...
Resolutions??? Gosh, don't you love it? Every year I come up with a half a dozen resolutions... new rules/guidelines/ideas for the next year... how can I make it better than the previous? Every year, whether I stick to my resolutions or not, it is better than the previous. Just growing up, learning things about yourself and making good decisions. But, for the hell of it and in the name of tradition, here we go.
1. More time with my girls. Every year, I get busier and busier and find that I am home less and less and when I am, I am busy with home stuff. This year, I'd like to set up Mommy/Daughter dates and go out and do something or stay in and do something, regardless of whether my dishes are done.
2. Writing! I want so desperately to finish a book. I really think if I just finish one, that two and three will be much easier to accomplish.
3. New car :) Does this count? lol... actually, I am planning to get another car when I get my tax return, something dependable and made in the last few years, rather than around the time I was born.
4. I am going to be more careful in relationships this year... Well I guess I was pretty careful in 2004 seeing as I didn't technically *have* a relationship in '04, lol. But I am not going to get into anything with anyone who is emotionally unavailable, period.
5. Career. I want to advance in my career and double what I am currently making. I don't mind investing another 6 months to a year here, but then I want to move up.
6. And last and least, lol, weight. I want to lose some and get into better shape, back to the gym for me!! AT least twice a week...

Now, back to work :)

~Kate

Labels: At work, Being Mommy, my mother, My pathetic excuse for a love life, resolutions, Veronique