Labels: Being Mommy, Daisy Dog, Triniti

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Emilee

So a few things have happened... the first is that my case worker sent me an email a few weeks ago with a link to a little girl who is ready for adoption right now and who doesn't have anyone interested in her.
Did your heart just break?
Mine did.
The thing was that this little girl is older than Triniti and the one thing we are certain of is that we don't want to get someone older than Trin.
Does that sound ridiculous? Are you thinking to yourself right now, "what does it matter? She needs a home!" I battled with the same thoughts.
Here is the thing though, I believe that your sibling order is a big part of who you are. I also believe that this isn't my choice to make on my own since it involves all the members of my family. So the girls and I talked about it and Triniti said she really didn't want to get another older sister and so we had to pass on this child.
It is really amazing how hard that decision was for me.
I've had to say to myself so many times in the last few months that I can't save them all. I can't take them all. It's hard for me to accept that because there are so many little girls out there with out moms and I am a Mom.
That simple fact will have me crying at night sometimes.
What I have had to accept is that when it happens, it will be what it is supposed to be.
The first night of my Foster/Adopt class, I got in my car to drive home and I was so overwhelmed with feelings. I felt like crying and I was so scared but there was something else there too, something I hadn't ever felt before and it was eating me up inside. At first I thought it was the fear and my mind immediately sent the thought forward of You don't have to do this. You can stop now. And I could have. I could have quit that class that day and never went back.
But I didn't.
And the reason I didn't was because that feeling I hadn't ever felt before was this inherent longing and I truly believe the first strings of a connection to a little girl who I have never met.
In the thirty minutes it took me to drive home that night I went from tears to certainty. The fear is still there. But it isn't only in regards to the adoption but just permanently attached to my being a mother. When I start to get a little scared about adopting I have to tell myself that I apply that same fear to the daughters I already have all the time. It is normal to be scared. I was scared each time I was pregnant and I don't think it would be natural not to be scared now in the "gestation period" of my adoption.
I have a sort of faith in that The Universe is going to present to me exactly what I am supposed to have. So when I start to reel a little from all of this, when I think to myself on a Sunday If I can't get this laundry done with just three girls, how am I going to do it with another one? I have to remember that I can handle anything. I didn't think I could handle one or two or the three girls I have. I didn't think I could do it alone. And I have to remember that this little girl isn't going to care whether I got all the laundry done any more than my current daughter do. She is going to care that I listen to her and hug her and tuck her in at night and support her choices and that I love her.
And I can do all of those things with clean or dirty laundry.
So when I start to feel a little like I can't breathe, I remind myself that what is meant to happen is going to happen.

So I emailed my caseworker back and told her that we weren't going to put our family in for the older little girl and asked about the progress of Carebear since we haven't heard anything since the very end of July.
Her response:
"I haven’t heard anything on Carebear. I did give your home study at our selection staffing for a sibling group of two girls 4 and 7. They are Hispanic with no major behavioral issues."

Wow.
Universe? I have my eye on you.

Labels: adoption, being a Home Owner, Being Mommy, The Universe

I have ZERO experience with photoshop or any other photo editing software.
The extent of what I am comfortable doing with a photo is as follows:
1. Cropping
2. Brightening
3. Rotating

When you see a photo I've taken on this blog or on my flickr account, it is straight out of camera (SOC) and the most I've done is crop it down to an angle that I like.

Those days are over.
Between This Is Reverb, The Pioneer Woman and Martin(ish), I've been bitten by the photo editing software bug.



SOC
I don't even remember what all I did to this but look at my eyes!

FUN!

Ok, now look at what I did to some pics of a house I am putting on our website at work. I edited both of these using a function called BLOOM on photoscape.





It's amazing.
Now I just gotta get photoshop installed at home and learn how the hell to use it.

Labels: At work, photography

Chocolate Cobbler Recipe:
6 tablespoons butter
1 cup self-rising flour
3/4 cup white sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 cup milk 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup white sugar
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 cups boiling water

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Melt butter in an 8x8 inch baking dish while the oven preheats. In a medium bowl, stir together the flour, 3/4 cup sugar, and 1 1/2 tablespoons cocoa. Stir in milk and vanilla until smooth. Spoon this batter over the melted butter in the baking dish. Stir together the remaining cup of sugar and 1/4 cup cocoa powder. Sprinkle over the batter. Slowly pour boiling water over the top of the mixture. Bake for 30 minutes in the preheated oven, until set. Serve warm with whipped cream and realize that you will never have a desert better than this one as long as you live. SOOO good.

Labels: cooking, recipes

Labels: Being Mommy, Triniti

Labels: being a Home Owner

This month will just have to be a picture update because:
1. We are really super busy.
2. My computers at home are in the shop being repaired. Only in my world do my laptop and my PC die at the same time.
3. My schedule has changed so while I am at work, Amanda is at school and by the time she is out, I am home or headed home which means I would have to write down an interview, like on PAPER. Who even uses paper anymore? And even if I did write it down, I wouldn't be able to read it afterwards because my handwriting is THAT BAD.

So, here are the pics to show Amanda's progress with her braces...
Before the braces went on...

The day the braces were put on...

One Month appointment...


After her three month appointment.
Can you believe it? It really blows my mind how much progress happens over such a short period of time. And the best part is that they are SO MUCH cleaner. I used to HARASS Amanda to brush her teeth all the time and no matter how much she brushed, her teeth never looked clean. Now that they are straighter, she is able to keep them so much cleaner and I LOVE that. And I really love that she is going to have these really nice straight teeth in just a few more months :)

She's gone from this...


To this... in just three months!
Braces recap:
Part One...
Part Two...
Part Three...
Part Four...
Part Five...
Part Six...

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, braces

You may remember that a few days ago I posted this picture I took of Triniti that I would previously had thought of as FREAKING AWESOME. Except now I know that there is this whole amazing world of photo editing software out there that makes my straight out of camera shot look dull and boring and in this case, blue.
Which sucks because I've only just gotten the hang of taking decent SOC shots.
I know I need to learn how to use me some photoshop because it will make my shots look like... well, like this one that HNFG spiffed up for me.

It's really amazing... thanks HNFG!!

Labels: Triniti

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Triniti