Monday, May 01, 2006
zero to boyfriend in one date
Where to start?
Ok, I should preface this with the fact that I have been getting subtle bad vibes from this guy from day one. But, since I couldn't pinpoint exactly what they were and had to chalk some of my apprehension up to the fact that I am always hesitant to get together with someone.
I have issues.
But ya'll knew that already.
Anyway, when I initially felt like this wasn't a good idea, I decided to give it the old "Three Dates" chance to see if I was just being crazy.
I've been crazy before.
So, date one, you read about already.
Nothing too weird.
But then the calls started.
Lots of calls.
And then, text messages.
Lots of text messages.
He was already starting to suck out all of my air.
So, Friday, I ignored ALL calls and text messages because, hello, I'm busy you know? Which he did know because I fucking told him during the first call that I have a very jampacked schedule. To which he responded that he did as well and it wouldn't be a problem. But tell me something, how jampacked exactly is your schedule when you can manage to call me five, oh yeah, five, times a day?
So, at seven o'clock Friday night when I finally got home, I did my magic sending voice mail thang that I do so well and said that I had just walked in the door, sorry I missed your calls and that my day had been swamped. Then, I lied. I told him I had plans and would be leaving in a matter of minutes to meet up with a girlfriend and that I would call him the next day since I would probably be home late.
Then I attached a read receipt to it so that I would know when he got it.
Which was precisely 5.8 seconds later.
Now, that was seven. Guess what time he called me...
Nine thirty.
He called at nine fucking thirty.
I let it go to voice mail where he proceeds to tell me that he hopes I am having fun and he will talk to me the next day.
The next morning he meant because he called me the next fucking morning too.
Are. you. fucking. kidding. me?
More ignoring of calls while I try and get my shit done and take the girls to their game.
I called him at 4:30 to confirm that we were still meeting at 6:00 at the place we had agreed on. Now, I say agreed on because I specifically told him I wanted to stay on my side of San Antonio, not his. So, we meet and I get into his car and what does he do? He drives me to his side of San Antonio.
I'm sorry, but which part of I don't want to be on that side did you not understand?
Ok, I'll be the first to admit that I am a control freak.
I can't help it.
Ever since I got out of the whole being dependant on someone else part of my life and moved into the being independent part, I have liked to have the say in what I do.
And when I say I want to stay on my side of San Antonio and you drive me to yours, I get a little pissy.
And that pissyness only increases when you smack my ass.
Yeah. He smacked my ass.
Less than twenty minutes into this date and I know it will be the last. We don't match up. Maybe we do to him, but not to me.
Want a few more reasons?
How about how he wanted to make out while we were standing in line at Starbucks?
Or the fact that I had to hold his hand to keep it off of my ass?
Or how he said, when seeing our reflection in the glass at the theater, and I quote "See? Don't we make a cute couple?"
Oh and then when he used his military id to buy the movie tickets and the lady asked me if I was military too and I said no and he said "not yet." I was all "not yet? I've no plans to be military." and he said, "Well you would be if you married me..."
What?
Do you even need more reasons people?
God, I have to make this stop. I feel like I got on the wrong fucking ride and I just want it to stop so I can get off.
When I left him Saturday night, I specifically said, "I will call you tomorrow." I will call you tomorrow.
One more time for those in the back of the room.
***I*** will call ***you*** tomorrow.
He called me five minutes later.
And then again at nine o-fucking-clock the next morning.
And then again at two that afternoon.
And a half a dozen times since.

Somebody please tell me how to tell this guy to go away without being a complete and total heinus bitch.

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so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 8:28 AM
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