Lots of craziness: To all those offended,

Sunday, June 18, 2006

To all those offended,

Hi good people of San Antonio, Texas.
This is an open letter of apology to any of you that may have come into contact with me and my brood this weekend while we were out wreaking havoc on your city.
If you were one of the many people in the parking lot of the movie theater, please except my apology for cutting you off to go down one of the aisles looking for a place to park or for stealing the spot you so obviously were waiting for.
The thing of it is, if you were in the car with my daughters who were very adamant that we go and see Cars at the 5:25pm showing and it was 5:35pm and we were still unable to find a fucking place to park, you wouldn't have minded.
I'm also sorry if you happened to be in line behind me at said theater and had to wait an addition five minutes while I tried to talk to the ticket dude through the stupid radio thingy.
"Hi, I was wondering, what is the difference between the regular showing of Cars and the digital showing?"
"chhhshh same chhhsssck better quality chhhhsch same price ckkkswks"
"Um, ok. Well can I have three kids and one adult for the 5:25pm digital showing of Cars?"
"schhhhhck old out chhhskw"
"Oh, ok, well how about the 6:oopm?"
"sccchhhhew sold schhhhwk minute ago"
"It's sold out too?"
*ticket dude nods*
"Well, shit, when's the next show?"
"shhhhwsk o'clock schhhwk"
after looking at the screen thingy behind ticket dude
"So, seven?"
"shhhhwks two adults schhhwks children? shhcwks"
"ONE adult, THREE children."

Yeah.
So, that left me with an hour and a half to kill in the outskirts of San Antonio.
The next round of apologies goes to the lovely employees and patrons of Cold Stone (ice cream joint).
To the lady in line in front of us tasting every fucking flavor of ice cream: I'm very sorry that my children cut in front of you in line demanding their own samples from the half a dozen college dudes working behind the counter.
They can't help it.
They are children and it is ice cream.
Rules and manners go out the window when those two things are combined.
To the employees of Cold Stone: I'm sorry my kids wanted to taste 8365421 flavors of ice cream and caused your line to pile up to like fifteen glaring people behind us.
To the couple that came out to the deck and sat beside us: It's sugar and they are kids, which is why they run around like little crack addicts who just got their fix.
Just be glad they weren't trying to pick things out of your hair.
To the couple sitting beside the bathroom inside Cold Stone: My daughter has an irrational fear of public restrooms. I'm sorry if we ruined your ice cream dining experience by walking back and forth by your table for ten minutes. She really needed to pee and I was just trying to convince her that the toilet wasn't going to gobble her bottom off is she sat on it.
To the good people shopping at Target: I assure you, we were not trying to race you or mow you down with our cart while you were enjoying browsing groceries on your Saturday night. It's just that we needed a pull-up and we needed it right. fucking. now.
To the lovely people attending the 7:00pm showing of Cars: Yes, we did sneak in our own chips and Lipton Green Teas so those crinkling bags? Those were ours. Lucky for you guys, we got there a little late on account of having to pit-stop at Target so we were forced to sit in that little section in the front of the theater, you know, where there are only two rows and thereby we were able to keep our disturbances down to a minimal. But those few of you who were sitting in the general vicinity of myself and my sugar laden daughters? I'm so very sorry. Primarily to the mother of four sitting in front of my four year old. When she kicked your chair violently and repeatedly, I wanted to throw myself at your very feet and beg your forgiveness. I promise to never, ever give her ice cream previous to a movie again.
And finally, to the people driving on Highway 16 around 9:00pm on Saturday night: If I cut you off in traffic or forgot to turn my brights off, I am so sorry. You see, I was just trying my very best to get back home as quickly as possible.

so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 8:23 PM
| link to this post | 7 spoke |

Who: katehopeeden
Where: San Antonio, Texas Yeah, so I am all that you see here. I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty... sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends. I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am. Want to know more?
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