Wednesday, December 05, 2007
God, I have been Miss Effing Cranky-Pants lately
I'm sorry ya'll! I have to admit that Friday really sucked a lot of my positivity out of me. When I hurt my foot on the stupid slippery porch, it really kicked my ass and it was hard for me to pull out of that mood. It was just such a huge reminder of how much this sucks and how much I hate not being able to walk.
And then the surgery which hurt. like. hell. yesterday and I was even more down.
It's hard to stay up and happy when you are in pain and unable to do much about it or the ridiculous nausea that came with it. And even more so when it feels like your house is crumbling to ruins around you. And your brother, who is the only other adult help, has had the flu for like a week and although he's trying he really can't do much and you don't blame him but then you do because he can walk and then you feel bad about that because you know he really feels horrible. And when it's weeks away from Christmas and you have NO IDEA how you are going to shop for fuck's sake because it's so hard.
But then last night happens. Last night when the pain finally melted into something tolerable and I could keep crackers down and then my antibiotics and some pain meds. Last night when the ABSOLUTELY amazing Fairy comes over and cleans my kitchen and my living room because she is just fucking sweet as hell. When Noah takes Amanda and Emilee and picks up dinner so I don't have to worry about what everyone will eat and the fact that the kitchen will be a sty afterwards,
If you know me, you know that I CAN'T STAND to ask for help. And I can't stand to not be able to do something myself. I am proud and stubborn and INDEPENDENT and I have a helluva time admitting I can't do something even when I CAN'T, the last thing I want to do is call someone and ask them for help. Even if EVERYONE I know has called me and offered it. And Fairy, because she is amazing and because she really knows me, came over and told me to shutthefuckup while she cleaned. Because she know I won't ask and because she knows I am pulling all of my hair out and biting all of my nails off and stewing in the pain that is a messy house.
She is totally getting something awesome for Christmas.
But it was that reminder that I am so very blessed to have people like her in my life and so blessed that my foot will eventually heal and that I am going to survive this period of time and one day look back at it and realize that yeah I had to have some humility but it wasn't the worst thing to ever happen to me.
And sure enough, this morning, the pain was even a little more tolerable and I got up at 4:30 and got in the shower (because I am SO caught up on sleep) and got ready for work. And now I am here and on Darvocet rather than hydrocodone and sipping Starbucks and checking all my email and life is slowly coming back to normal. I have an appointment with my podiatrist today and I should have my cast in the next week or two.
But more importantly Miss Effing Cranky-Pants is in hiding and the old katehopeeden you know and adore (I hope :P) is back and apologizing for the cranky posts and whiney phone calls.
Thank you all so much for calling to check on me (even if I didn't answer the phone) and emailing me (even if I didn't answer you) and posting comments (even if my answer posts were bitchy). I love you guys and I am so lucky to have all of these great friends.

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so eloquently put by katehopeeden at 6:28 AM
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Who: katehopeeden
Where: San Antonio, Texas Yeah, so I am all that you see here. I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty... sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends. I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am. Want to know more?
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12/14/84 - 1/26/05

"The most wasted day is one in which we have not laughed"

"Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you might miss it."

"Guys are like stars, there's a million of them out there but only one of them can make your dreams come true." "Don't spend your life with someone you can live with, spend it with someone you can't live without."

"Reach for the moon, even if you miss you will still land among the stars"



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