Can I tell you how much I love this man?
I love him with all my heart.
I love his smile.
I love his sense of humor and that he knows everything about cars and is a perpetual tinkerer. I love that he hates driving down here but does it anyway so he can visit Jimmy, The Cake Lady and I and we can all drink copious amounts of alcohol, laugh, and reminisce.
I love that he knows me and when I really need to talk to someone, he will listen. I love that I can tell him anything. I love his loyalty and friendship. And I really love that he is finally on facebook so we can be online buddies.
I love that I am always welcome to come and see him in Austin whenever I want and he will make time for me. I love his honesty. I love that he makes my middle name Lou even though that isn't my middle name.
I just love him.

Labels: Snakeman

We go to school EARLY in the country.
This was taken at 6:45 as Amanda and Emilee were leaving to go get on the bus that takes them to middle school.
Trin is still in elementary and her school is two blocks away so we walk.
Amanda started seventh grade this year and was accompanied, much to her dismay, by Emilee who started sixth. Nothing is more painful than having your little sister on the bus :) Trin started second and so far (two days in), this has been the most calm she's been about a major change in her schedule. So far, so good :)

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Emilee, sisters, Triniti

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter 'Don't forget your Sisters,' she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass..
'They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them. Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women in your life... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. You'll need other women. Women always do...'
What a funny piece of advice! the young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!

But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life.

Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don't do what they're supposed to do. Hearts break. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors... Careers end. BUT........ Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our life! The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or
sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.
Every day, we need each other still.

Labels: soul sisters

I'm usually far more organized about school starting than I am this year. In previous years, the weekend before school starts is full of hanging out time. We try to do the most vegging out possible and just relax because we know in just a matter of hours, everything in our lives is going to get hectic and start revolving more around schedules and due dates and chaos instead of, oh I don't know, sleeping.
I live a little vicariously through my daughters during the summer. When Amanda calls me at ten with her sleepy I-just-woke-up voice on, I can picture her still laying in bed with her hair all messed up, buried under her comforter. And really the only reason she is awake is because a little seven year old girl has climbed into her bed with her and poked her repeatedly in the side of the head until she woke up.
I envy them that but also I am glad that they have it.
The whirlwind of activity that used to be involved in getting the girls up on a Summer morning at six so they could go to daycare ended last Summer and I vowed that I would try and make sure that they wouldn't have to do it again.
They love Summer.
They love to be able to sleep until ten.
They love just hanging out at the house bumming around and goofing off.
And who wouldn't?
On the days where no one calls to tell me what a buttface their sister is being and I get home to find them sprawled out on the couch watching iCarly in their pajamas at five-thirty, I think I am doing something right.
Sure, they may have overlooked the act of brushing their teeth that day but look how happy they are. They just get to be pals and their stress level indicator is totally on zero.
Monday, that stress level indicator device is going to say WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? as school starts and their pajamas stop being every day wear.
We will be back in the world of homework, band practice, after school sports, theater, packed lunches, friends, bus schedules, gym clothes, lunch money, brushing hair and knowing where our shoes are.
It's going to be nuts.
And I feel a little bad that instead of us having this weekend to veg out together, we are going to be in San Antonio fighting through the throngs of shoppers that either put off their school shopping until the last minute or are out taking advantage of the tax free weekend.
Summer is over.
And while I won't miss the heat, I will miss the mellow vibe we've had going on.
Second, sixth and seventh grade? Here we come.

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Emilee, Triniti

So you had some problems with your braces this month, tell me about them.
~Uhm, one of my wires kept on moving out of place aaaannnd I don't know what this thingy is called right here [pointed to back right lower molar, there is a blue band there] but it fell off.

Is it starting to just feel normal having them now?
~Yup - can't even feel them.

Do you miss chewing gum?
~No... I have a lot of sugar free gum and it tastes the same. My advice to people with braces? Get Stride. [fyi-when you have braces, no gum with sugar]

Are you a little nervous about starting school in a few days?
~Very excited actually, I miss everybody.

But what about your braces maint in school?
~Gonna be hard, hopefully Kate gets them soon so me and her [my daughter is grammatically challenged] can both go to the bathroom to see if we have food in our teeth.

Not just to see if there is food, but to BRUSH TOO RIGHT??
~Depends...

On what?
~On everything.

No. On what?
~I don't know if... if it takes a lot of time. Not to mention, I don't want to look dorky. [She then made a motion of brushing her teeth and a VERY DORKY noise.]

Something kind of big happened last week, do you want to talk about it?
~No

Why not?
~Cuz. Hold on... [texting]

That's cool, I'll just sit here and wait for you to text...
~I guess I'll tell you.

I already know.. you're telling THE WORLD...
~Uhm my friend called me.

You're friend?
~My friend from third grade.

That's it?!?
~hehehe no...

What else?
~I don't know what to say... He called.

WHO IS HE??
~His name is Cody. He called me and I messed up. And this is all my moms fault. Cuz we should have caller ID but we don't. So I thought I had his number and I said, "I'll call you or text you back!" [said VERY girly and high pitched]

SO how exactly is that your mom's fault?
~We should have caller ID and then I would have his number.

Yeah, as opposed to actually ASKING for it...
~That takes too long and I was too busy hyperventilating.

Did you tell him that you have braces?
~Nope, I left that part out.

Are you nervous about seeing him if he does start school here?
~VERY.

Any advice or words of wisdom you want to pass onto other kids that are about to get braces?
~[texting] No not really. It sucks... but I guess that how it's supposed to be. Oh and I hope you don't get them.

Before the braces went on...

The day the braces were put on...

Last month when we went to see the orthodontist...

Last month after her appointment....



Braces recap:
Part One...
Part Two...
Part Three...
Part Four...
Part Five...
Part Six...

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, braces

So, I have my idea.
That is really the most crucial step in writing a book right?
No idea, no story, no book.
I have the idea.
And I'm in love with it.. but I am still getting to know my idea.
I'm learning about my characters... what they are like, what they do, how they feel about things. I need to do some research to better understand them.
This weekend, I had a fork in the road moment where I decided some things about my main character that are VERY different from my initial idea.
And better.
I was washing dishes and scrubbing my counter and I had to keep drying my hands to run over to my pc and jot down notes on the couple of pages of ideas I have saved for this novel on my desktop.
I'm ready to start a storyboard - both physically and electronically.
I want to be super organized while doing this so I don't get discouraged so I am also looking for a novel organizing, writing, software thingy to help.
I will be putting snippets up here once I have some but for now, I am still planning and organizing and smiling ear to effing ear because I am so super excited about this.

Labels: writing a book

I damn near had a coronary trying to make my mortgage payment this month. Turns out my mortgage company went out of business, begrudgingly.
If you were a fellow Taylor, Bean & Whitaker mortgage holder, DON'T FREAK OUT.
Bank of America is taking over all of their loans.
Call 800-669-6607 and tell them and they will help get you taken care of.
Thank goodness.
This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the LOC.
LOC: Out.

Labels: being a Home Owner

So Amanda and I were sitting on the couch (please don't read in to two posts in a row saying we were sitting on the couch... like couch potatoes. We aren't couch potatoes. I promise. Just sometimes, two consecutive posts happen to have us sitting on our butts watching tv. We do other things too. In fact, let's pretend we were doing something else...)
So Amanda and I were saving orphans and ending world hunger while stopping the poaching of whales when we saw a commercial for My Sister's Keeper come on the tube.
We have both wanted to see this movie since we started seeing previews for it so we were way past exclaiming that we wanted to see it, we just watched the new trailer where Cameron Diaz is shaving her head in silence.
After the preview, I dabbed my eyes because COME ON and then looked over at Amanda and told her that if she ever got cancer and had to have Chemo that I would shave my head with her.
At which point in time she burst into tears and said, "Awww, really Mom?"
Yes. Really.
That movie is going to kick. my. ass.

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy

It's such a weird thing to be afraid of. I get it when you are talking about a LIZARD IN MY HAIR or something equally unsettling... but my boss won't go out onto our back porch if there is a lizard there and about once or twice a month, there is.
Two days ago he and I were headed out the back door to go look at one of the houses and one second we were walking along and the next second he is jumping backwards.
It should be noted that we were still eight feet from the glass door leading outside.
I turned to look at him and he pointed at the door.
And there it was, a lizard on the porch.
I rolled my eyes knowing two things-
One: I am not afraid of lizards that are smaller than my arm.
Two: Lizards RUN AWAY AS FAST AS HUMANLY LIZARDLY POSSIBLE when confronted with a human being. I know this because as a child, it is damn near impossible to catch one.
I rolled my eyes at him as I continued to walk and he stood cemented in place.

The next night, Amanda and I were lounging on the couch talking about nonsense, watching the TV and getting the giggles when something reminded me of that story and I told it to her through fits of laughter. You know when you get those ridiculous giggles that you can't stop and you are crying for no reason? That was the kind of laughing we were doing that night.
So anyway, at the end of it, I blurt out, "AND THEN HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO GO AND THROW A ROCK AT IT!!' HAHAHAHAHAHA!
We calm down and Amanda looks over at me and says, "That would be like throwing a rock at a lion."
I try to understand the comparison and fail to and say, "Uh, yeah suuure Amanda. It's exactly like that."
She bursts into giggles again and says, "I mean, if lizards were scary at all."
It made no sense and was hilarious simultaneously.
And I want to remember that five years from now. That on the cusp of being thirteen, my daughter and I could lay on the couch and laugh about nothing until we cried.

Labels: Amanda, At work, Being Mommy

You may remember that a couple of years ago, I had a crush on a work boy. Said work boy has since moved far away and he and I are now "friends" on Facebook but nothing ever happened between us.
Ok, I drunk texted him and entered the fifth dimension of humiliation.
But other than that nothing ever happened between us.
Last night, I had the strangest dream about him. I had went to his house to smoke and I don't mean cigarettes folks. It was reminiscent of my high school days and in fact, his house was a beach house and it wasn't in very good shape.
We are hanging out like Snakeman and I do, with that level of super comfort. Where you can lay in bed with someone and just talk and it isn't weird at all?
And then, one by one, my kids start popping into the dream and before I know it, they are all there and I am putting them to bed in what used to be my room. Because apparently, I used to live in this house. And the girls are FREAKING OUT because this house is haunted. And I don't mean wooooOOOOoohhhh haunted, I mean get out of this horror movie haunted.
Enough to scare me.
But now instead of this just being a visit, we can't leave. So I am talking some herbal anti-evil mixture I've made and I am sprinkling it around the room and I am reciting this prayer that my mother taught me as a child called Tube of Light.

Beloved I AM Presence bright,
Round me seal your tube of light
From Ascended Master flame
Called forth now in God’s own name.
Let it keep my temple free
From all discord sent to me.
I AM calling forth violet fire
To blaze and transmute all desire,
Keeping on in Freedom’s name
Till I AM one with the violet flame.

I don't know why, but I loved that prayer more than any of the others my mom taught me. I think it was the way I could visualize it.
Anyway, I am reciting this prayer over and over, struggling with the lines and I am scared but at the same time, I am annoyed because I want to hang out with this guy and these evil spirits are trying to get my kids.
Next I go to the kitchen and get a thing of salt and I am putting a circle of salt around the bed my girls are in and then I wake up because I was scared.
Uckkh. Even now, it makes my stomach sick to think about it.

Labels: At work, Being a Chic, Being Mommy, dreams, Snakeman

I am so super excited.
I have a book idea.
A really good one.
And I need to work on it.
I'll put some of it up here, I promise :)

There is other stuff too, but it'll have to wait because every last drop of my writing needs to get pumped into this idea I have.
Because it's really good.
Did I mention it was good?

I hung your picture on the wall and that's all it is
I break my fingers to make a call and that's all it is
I know you're living way out west and I don't think that I confessed
Everything I feel


You say you got no faith in things that you can't see
Well I'm sorry I ain't there with you, but you ain't here with me
And I'm down in all my fears
But I ain't cryin' no tears over you


'Cause everything's wrong
Well it's all right
Everything's wrong
Well it's all right


You said that this is crazy, you're a half a world away
Well I'm sitting and I'm thinking but I didn't know what to say
So I said something I can't touch, I always want way too much
Anyway


'Cause everything's wrong
Well it's all right
Everything's wrong
Well it's all right


I hung your picture on the wall, but that's all it is
I break my fingers to make a call and that's all it is
I know you're living way out west
Don't get me wrong I'm not impressed
With you no more

Labels: music

...I got sucked into that stupid melancholy world known as Lonely Land.
I can rationally have a conversation any day of the week about how happy I am to be single. How much I enjoy being in control of my life and being able to be in control of my life.
I have great friends, great plans, great daughters. And I also have this inherent feeling in my soul that reassures me that the person I am supposed to be with is out there and in due time, will be here.
I just have to be patient.
Yet, something about driving home yesterday made my mind wander to that sad place where there isn't That Person yet.

Labels: Being a Chic, dreams, My pathetic excuse for a love life

This morning, at six o'clock, Trin and I were driving to my mom's place so Trin could hang out with her while I was at work. At six o'clock in the morning, the sun is just starting to think about making an appearance and the sky is usually a very dark purple with the first hints of lighter colors beginning to appear. Sometimes on a good morning you can see that ridiculous magenta color that only the sky can make. Additionally, at six o'clock there are usually a few hold out stars hanging around that can be seen and Trin spotted one when we were pulling out of the driveway.
"Mamma! Look! A star! I'm gonna make a wish... ok, I made a wish."
"I bet I know what you wished for..."
"Nu-uh Mommy...."
"I bet you wished you were a princess!"
"Moooom, I didn't wish I was a princess, I AM a princess already... and the whole world is MY movie."

Labels: Being Mommy, Triniti