When my first daughter was born, I could watch a movie where the women in it had this Bond. They raised their kids together, they grew up and old together, the experienced each other's lives and here I was, this sixteen year old girl, completely secluded from the world... just me and this baby and no idea about anything. No clue what would happen the next year or when I was going to find myself, I didn't even know I needed to find myself.
That was fourteen years ago and now, when I take stock of what's important, I count these women. These women who I've known for varying lengths of time, these women who have been there as I've cried on shoulders or made the right choices, these women who've nodded in compassionate understanding as we went from diapers to backtalk to teenagers.
Last night, I sat at my dining room table surrounded by almost all of the women who make up My Village. These are the people who have witnessed my life and whose lives I have witnessed in return and we've hit this new middle place. We aren't new at this any more. We aren't these twenty something girls balancing our first babies on our hips and trying to understand how mortgages work or when we won't have to buy diapers anymore. We are in the place where we've discovered mostly who we are or at least we are trying to because we now know it's part of The Path. We've passed by that place where we made impulsive silly choices because we've learned from them. We know now whether we want more children or whether we want to just get the ones we've almost finished raising out, we know whether we want to be in school or whether we're on the career path we want to be on already, we know that we don't know all there is to know anymore and we are ok with it. We can sit down together as grown women. We've become our own versions of our mothers... or at least the quintessential mother.
Doesn't just about everyone have a memory of their own mother sitting around with her women, those women you had known your entire life, those women who could tell you they'd changed your diaper when you were a baby and who you could go to when you didn't want to talk to your own mother about birth control? Those aunts who weren't really your aunts.
I have found those women. These beautiful sisters that I've been blessed enough to acquire over my thirty years. Last night, I reminisced as far back as the few years of being a teenager before I became a parent straight through the birth of the most recent baby in this circle. I listened to them talk about school and husbands and kids and laugh hysterically about That Stuff We Did When We Were Younger. We drank endless bottles of wine and I just enjoyed the fact that we could all be in the same room together for a few stolen hours before our lives took us back.
It was precious time, priceless time.

Labels: Being a Chic, Being Mommy, my crazy life, soul sisters

Ok so schedule is in play and working.
Did I just type that?
I have to admit, when I took our new schedule home and posted it up around the house, I met with a fair amount of yeah right, Mom and that’s not going to happen.
Am I the only one who occasionally feels ganged up on by their kids?
I found that the most resistance was coming from the evening side of things.
The girls didn’t like that the schedule didn’t allow for TV/computer time. So they negotiated. We decided that as long as everything on the schedule was accomplished before bedtime that they could watch tv or use the computer or read until bedtime.
Our revised schedule is going more like this:

4:45 -- MOMMY UP , SHOWER AND GET READY FOR WORK
5:15 -- GET TRIN READY FOR SCHOOL
5:30 -- WAKE AMANDA AND EMILEE UP, NO BATTLES
5:30 – 6:00 HAVE BREAKFAST TOGETHER
6:00 -- EMILEE SHOWER, AMANDA AND EMILEE GET READY FOR SCHOOL – NO TV OR COMPUTER UNTIL
COMPLETELY READY FOR SCHOOL, MOMMY LOADS DISHWASHER
6:15 -- MOMMY LEAVES FOR WORK
6:50 – GIRLS LEAVE FOR BUS, EVERYONE SHOULD BE READY
3:30 – 4:00 LEAVE WORK
4:00 – 4:30 GET HOME, START A LOAD OF LAUNDRY AND MAKE DINNER, PACK TRIN’S LUNCH
4:45 – 5:15 SERVE DINNER, EAT TOGETHER
6:00 – 6:30 LAUNDRY INTO DRYER, MOM AND EMILEE CLEAN UP KITCHEN, START DISHWASHER
6:30 – GO FOR WALK OR DO HOME WORK IF YOU’VE GOT IT
7:00 – TRIN SHOWER, EMILEE UNLOAD DISHWASHER, AMANDA HANG UP LAUNDRY FROM DRYER
7:15 – AMANDA SHOWER
7:15 – 7:45 TRIN READING TIME IN BED, LIGHTS OUT 8:00 FOR TRIN
7:15 – AMANDA GATHER LAUNDRY, PUT IN WASHER FOR MOMMY TO START IN THE MORNING
7:30 – 8:00 FREE TIME AMANDA AND EM, COMPUTER, READ, HOMEWORK, TV (IN YOUR ROOMS)
8:00 – PHONE AND ELECTRONICS OFF, PHONES CHARGE ON HALL TABLE
8:00 – 8:45 READING TIME
8:45 LIGHTS OUT

There are times during the day where I am standing there wondering what I should be doing and I will just go and look at the schedule and be like oh yeah, laundry. We haven’t “walked” yet since it’s a blistering 100+ degrees out just about every day, but we’ve been doing cardio pilates a few days a week which I am hoping to make at least three times a week. I found it is easier to do something at home since Trin has been getting in the bath after dinner and staying in there until it’s time to read.

Here is what I have discovered this week:
*having the girls get up and sit at the table for breakfast is causing (so far) no morning arguments. I’m not sure if this is because the girls aren’t rushing so they don’t fight over the bathroom or if it is just because they shake off their cranky morning moods at the table. I don’t care what it is, my house is downright pleasant in the mornings and I love it. Yesterday Amanda didn’t eat anything, she just sat with us for about fifteen minutes while she woke up all the way. This morning she had watermelon and a bagel… Emilee has been having a granola bar every morning and Trin has had everything from biscuits to bagels to toast with juice.

*I stopped drinking coffee Wednesday. I didn’t mean to and I certainly don’t know if it will be permanent but I haven’t had any for three days and I feel fine. Some minor headaches the last two mornings but no energy loss. I’ve also been eating something light in the mornings, some mini-wheats or toast with juice and I have a lot more energy. I’ve also lost ten pounds.

*We planned out our “menu” over the weekend and we’ve eaten really well this week. Lots of veggies and grilled chicken. Last night we had salads and corn on the cob, Amanda and Emilee didn’t even clean their plates and both were full. We are always done eating by 6:00.

*Trin has been taking hour plus long baths this week and when she gets out, she puts on her pjs and gets right into bed with her book. She is reading the Spiderwick books right now. She has me set a timer for twenty minutes and as soon as it goes off, she rolls over and goes to bed.

*I’ve been in bed by nine every night this week and with the exception of this morning, I’ve not had any problems getting up before 5:00. I love going to bed early.

*We’ve been SUPER on top of the laundry this week. I will be going into the weekend with one or two loads total. WHAT WILL I DO WITH ALL THAT FREE TIME?

*I feel very good. I feel like a good mom. I feel organized. I feel energized. I feel like I will be able to start other projects now. I am going to thank the girls for being so great this week.

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Emilee, organization, Triniti

So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin...

Labels: photography

It's too much right now for me to write in here.
I'm focused on making some major life changing decisions that I can't talk about publicly yet.
Fairy had her baby, Jude and I want to spend every spare second smelling his head.
School starts next week and I've got menus to plan and sleeping schedules to reset.
I'm busy.
I'm crazy.
I miss ya'll.

Love you,
~KHE

Labels: excuses excuses

If you are like me, you are already starting to dread the school year that is looming around the corner in a few weeks. I love Summer. I love the flow of it, the fact that I don't have to communicate with another human being until 7:00am when I walk into work. No worrying about forgotten homework, lunch money, PE clothes, umbrellas, etc.
I like Summer.
It's easier.
I like easy.

But, knowing that the school year is impending, I thought I'd better start getting our schedule together. Four females in a house can get pretty chaotic and sometimes I'd rather just point to the schedule hanging up and declare, "IT'S NOT ON THE SCHEDULE."
Because I amd Mommy and I can.
Just kidding.
Kind of.
It's more of the written goal frame of mind. Brian Tracy has a quote that I love in regards to goals, "Only three percent of adults have written goals, and everyone else works for them."
I believe in writing your goals down and reflecting on them as often as possible. I think if you look at your intentions daily, you're way more likely to accomplish them.
And believe me when I say that a schedule for our household IS a goal.

So here it is, our Monday through Friday 10-11 School Year Schedule... wish me luck!
4:45 -- MOMMY UP , SHOWER AND GET READY FOR WORK
5:15 -- BREAKFAST FOR GIRLS, START LOAD OF LAUNDRY IN WASH
5:30 -- GET TRIN READY FOR SCHOOL
5:45 -- WAKE AMANDA AND EMILEE UP, NO BATTLES
5:45 – 6:00 HAVE BREAKFAST TOGETHER
6:00 -- AMANDA AND EMILEE GET READY FOR SCHOOL – NO TV OR COMPUTER UNTIL
COMPLETELY READY FOR SCHOOL, MOMMY LOADS DISHWASHER
6:15 -- MOMMY LEAVES FOR WORK
6:50 – GIRLS LEAVE FOR BUS, EVERYONE SHOULD BE READY
3:30 – 4:00 LEAVE WORK
4:00 – 4:30 GET HOME, GET LAUNDRY INTO DRYER AND MAKE DINNER
4:45 – 5:15 SERVE DINNER
6:00 – 6:30 MOM AND EMILEE CLEAN UP KITCHEN, START DISHWASHER
AMANDA HANG UP LAUNDRY FROM DRYER
TRINITI HOME WORK
6:30 – GO FOR WALK
7:00 – TRIN SHOWER, EMILEE UNLOAD DISHWASHER
7:15 – EMILEE SHOWER
7:15 – 7:45 TRIN READING TIME IN BED, LIGHTS OUT 7:45 FOR TRIN
7:15 – AMANDA GATHER LAUNDRY, PUT IN WASHER FOR MOMMY TO START IN THE MORNING
7:30 – 8:00 FREE TIME AMANDA AND EM, COMPUTER, READ, HOMEWORK, TV (IN YOUR ROOMS)
8:00 – PHONE AND ELECTRONICS OFF, PHONES CHARGE ON HALL TABLE
8:00 – 8:45 READING TIME
8:45 LIGHTS OUT

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Emilee, Triniti

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Me!
Me who?

That's right!
What's right?
Meehoo!
That's what I want to know!

What's what you want to know?
Me, WHO?
Yes, exactly!
Exactly what?
Yes, I have an Exactlywatt on a chain!

Exactly what on a chain?
Yes!
Yes what?
No, Exactlywatt!

That's what I want to know!
I told you - Exactlywatt!
Exactly WHAT?
Yes!
Yes what?

Yes, it's with me!
What's with you?
Exactlywatt - that's what's with me.
Me who?
Yes!

GO AWAY!

Knock knock...

Labels: stuff I like

You know those humane mouse traps? The glue ones? Are those considered humane? I don't know now that I think about it... anyway, I feel like I'm stuck to one. Like my life is a giant glue mouse trap and I'm just stuck to it. And some days I get this burst of energy or optimistic enthusiasm and try and pull off of it but I don't make enough progress and end up laying back down on it. Stuck.
I hate that.
I don't want to feel that way about my life. I mean, fuck, it's MY LIFE. It's not like there is a guarantee of another one. I want to feel inspired. Loved. Excited. Breathless. Certain. I want to look around and see wonder. I want to marvel at it all.
Am I spoiled?
Insatiable?
Bored?
I don't know. But I want more. I'm not satisfied with it all.
I used to feel bad saying that, like I wasn't grateful for what I do have. Like it wasn't this amazing thing that I went from being this high school drop out mom to where I am now.
I am grateful. But I am no longer afraid or abashed to say I want more.
I want more.

Labels: Because I Said So, Being a Chic

Emilee wants to be taller than Amanda and I SO VERY BADLY.
There isn’t a week that goes by that she doesn’t measure all three of us to see who’s grown and more excitingly, who hasn’t... as long as it isn’t her.
Amanda is five foot four, I am five foot six and Emilee is five foot three. Amanda has been five foot four now for a year or so and really I don’t know if she is going to get any taller… maybe a late teenaged growth spurt or maybe she is just growing REALLY. SLOWLY.
Emilee has grown an inch or so in the last six months, I can practically see her catching up. She loves to stand really close to me or Amanda so she can mentally measure herself against us.
One of the most surreal things about being their mother is them being able to stand in front of me and look me in the eye. For so many years, I’ve looked down at them and them up at me. And now, they are almost my height. It’s freaking weird.
But, on the flip side, it is one of my favorite things right now. Watching Emilee measure herself every day with the tape measure. It’s something I am always going to remember. I am silently rooting for her. I hope she grows to be five foot eight and towers over her sisters and I because man oh man, she wants it badly.

Labels: Amanda, Being Mommy, Emilee