So, I think I can see some slowing down in my future.
And I am fucking excited about it...

Ok, first of all, got home from the beach Sunday afternoon totally pooped, mildly sunburnt and completely happy. I spent the entire weekend vacationing. Not freaking out about not having a car or work or being online - nadda.
Tuxbaby even broke out her laptop and WIFI connection and offered to share and I declined.
Although, it might have been the wine and sun because all I kept thinking was how funny it was that my blog was just floating around in the room waiting to be grabbed by her laptop. I sat outside and had a little giggle over that.
I thought briefly about sharing my thoughts with the other ladies but I was pretty sure that they would confiscate my bottle of wine. And we can't have that ;)

The trip was so very very awesome.
Tuxbaby and Babs were wonderful to hang out with, as always and it was great being able to meet their kids finally. The weather was beyond great and the rain everyone was trying to warn us about never even tried to show it's face. Our hotel wasn't the Hilton but we practically had the pool to ourselves the entire time we were there and the people who own it are so very nice.
I made shrimp alfredo Thursday night for dinner which would have been a LOT better if I hadn't had to pop the heads off the shrimp before cooking it. THAT was fucking gross. But the food was good and the company was stellar.
Saturday evening, I took the girls out and we had greasy hamburgers and greasy french fries at the best little outdoor place called Sandy's Surf Shack. The girls and I had such a nice time talking and eating and mingling with the owners who happened to be sitting behind us.
Afterwards, we had HUGE amounts of ice cream and then went shopping.
Shopping blows when Trin is there because of that whole "you break it, you buy it" rule so I didn't really get to buy anything fun for me, but the girls all got shirts. In the stores there you can buy a plain shirt and they will put a decal on it for free. They all picked a fun decal for the front and then a decal for the back with the name of the town on it.
Checked out before lunch and made reservations for next year (who's game?? Email me) then hit the road heading home.
The girls crashed out and left me alone with my thoughts and the closer I got to San Antonio, the more I started to let reality take my brain. I knew I needed to make a decision on a car AND fast. I am paying for the rental right now and I need to give it back so I don't spend a buttload of money on it.
I decided if I hadn't heard from one of the many people I emailed before I left (and who The Cake Lady and Jiffinner emailed while I was gone) about a Freestyle, I was going to get in touch with the guy I bought the Focus from and ask what he could do for my price.
Turns out that this is what he could do:


Yeah, looks like it could bite you doesn't it??
Well, don't be fooled.
It's a minivan.
A BEIGE minivan.
B-E-I-G-E

Note: the dark clouds hovering over the *dun dun duuuuun* minivan.
I'm going to drive by people and they won't even see me.
They'll be all like, "was that a car? Nah... Must have been a tree or something..."
Plus, I've lost the right to laugh at people.
You can't laugh at people when you are driving a beige minivan.

I think I offended the Ford God when I was ripping on the Taurus and all of it's beigey goodness. He got together with some of the other Car Gods and decided that just this one time they should really teach me. Teach me that Taurus' are cool.
And beige, yeah, it's cool too.
And just so I can learn that lesson and WELL, I should be driving not just a beige vehicle but a beige minivan.
A 2006
Oooooh, you're good Car Gods.
A beige 2006 Pontiac Montana to be exact.

The girls are happy about this:


The Mommy is happy about this:

Ahh, the storage capabilities!

The Mommy is confused about these though... not sure what they are or what they are for...


But there will be plenty of time to learn since this baby is mine.

Top Ten Reasons I Won't Be Blogging Until Sunday or Monday.

10. Because I will be AT THE FUCKING BEACH.

--uhhhh... so just the one reason then??

Nah, seriously folks... leaving tomorrow around lunch time. Which means if you are emailing me, do it by 11:00CST if you expect a response :) I will download all my mail right before I split and then you are on your own... for four. whole. days.
It's ok.
Oh, I know... I'll miss you too.
But, I'm coming back!

I've been planning this trip for MONTHS. It was supposed to be myself, Snow, Babs and Tuxbaby BUT some one couldn't come.
Yeah, beotch, you know who you are.
You were just all scared I was going to get you drunk to pay you back for that thing that you did that I can't seem to remember.
Hmmmm. Shit. I know it was something....

Anyway, I am so very scatterbrained.
Want to know the question I have heard most in the last two weeks?
C'mon, guess.
"So, what's going on with the car?"
I believe those very words, put in that order, are pretty close to having the ability to cause my body to fall to the floor and curl up into the fetal position whereby I begin weeping uncontrolably and saying "I just want a Freestyle, why does the world hate me?" over and over again.
Things in the car world are not looking so hot.
I don't want to talk about it.
I don't want to think about it.

Oh and I checked weather.com yesterday and saw a clear forecast until Sunday when there is a possibility of thunderstorms. And as far as I am concerned, it can totally rain on Sunday. In fact, BRING ON THE RAIN - on Sunday.
Right now the forecast is high in the upper eighties with stray thunderstorms.
Not awful.
Tempest has promised she is doing her NO-RAIN dance down there right now.

So, I am off.
Time for some sleep and then some final packing in the morning.
Have a good weekend blogosphere.

Above? From an email I received this morning.
Yeah... you know who you are.
Can't answer a phone (or return my calls), but gripes at me about blogging.
Something about a pot and a kettle...
Anyway, this post shall be dedicated to you, my friend.
Don't get all excited, it could suck.

Top Ten Reasons I Haven't Blogged With Anything Even Slightly Resembling Regularity:

10. My mother is visiting yet again. And by "visit" I mean "moved in temporarily" and by "temporarily" I mean "not leaving in the foreseeable future".
That said, she gets her panties all in a wad if I "neglect" polishing my floor with a toothbrush so that I can sit in front of this "stupid thang" and "burn daylight".
Yeah, we really are that Southern.
You see, there is so much that "could be done around the house" because she "didn't raise me that way".

9. New job is sucking my brain out. No, really.
You see, craziest thing... This place where I work now? Yeah, you have to work. A lot. Which, I am sorry to say, is something I am not altogether used to.
The last three years have been like recess all day with one class for like thirty minutes. New job is like classes all day with a short thirty minute recess.
And I don't mean the kind of work where you get to pretend to work. I mean the kind of work where you actually work.
It's actually kind of cool because I am learning all of this stuff about tanks and how all of the things that go with tanks have dirty names.
Like nipples.
Did you know that there is this little screwy thingy that is called a "nipple"?
Uh-huh.
And pipes and pipe like things are either male or female depending on how they go into each other?
Ask me how well this all sits with my haven't-been-laid-in-a-really-fucking-long-time brain.

8. Since I now don't really have any friends I see on a daily basis, I spend my drive to work and home talking to The Cake Lady who mercifully lets me go on and on and on and on and on about all the shit in my head and then says 'That would be a great blog post...' (I can't ever remember any of it once I have verbally vomited it all out otherwise it might make a great blog post...)
Weird as it may seem, I often won't tell a story to anyone until after I've blogged it. Kind of the fucked up equivalent of having a song stuck in my head. I have to save it. Otherwise it isn't as fun to share.
Yeah.

7. Been retelling a bunch of stories ya'll have already heard to people who haven't heard them yet. Ooooh, like I got to retell the Teacher Boy story to Fairy's friend at Fairy's b-day party a weekend or two ago.
Got to the "fun" parts and told her friend we should leave the room so that the dude we were in the room with who was on the phone wouldn't be accidentally transmitting my story to whomever he was speaking to. As soon as I stood up and suggested we take my rated R conversation out of the room, he immediately said, "Hey! Where are ya'll going? That was just getting good! I may be able to use some of that!"
Also, working with new dude at work, who needs a name... and he hasn't heard any of my stories either. Don't worry, I am being gentle. Don't want to scare the lad.

6. Been trying to come up with nicknames for new co-workers.
Now you have to understand, I am working for a SUPER small company. I think there are like ten of us. There are the owners: The Business Woman and her husband The Marine Biologist and their daughter The College Girl ("Just 27 more days till I get to go back to school Kate."). Then there is the aforementioned dude who is my age... who I can't seem to think of a name for but must tell you guys now HE IS MARRIED before your dirty minds start sending me places I am not going to go. Then there is The Quiet Talker. This woman speaks more quietly than a nun in church. The Super Happy Lady With The SingSong Voice, whom we will call SingSong for short... The Warehouse Lady and The Lady Who Doesn't Like Me.
Save The College Girl and myself, EVERY. SINGLE. WOMAN. THERE. has the Old Lady Haircut. Oh, you know the one.
It's the short, poofy, stands up off their head hair cut.
I don't even think the secret of how to get your hair to hover an inch and a half of your head is given to you until menopause.

5. Been shopping.
What for?
Oh, you know... MY BEACH TRIP!
Aaawwww yeah. Thursday, come hell or high water, I am loading up all my shit and my girls shit and we are going to the coast.
For three nights.
This time next week, I will be peeling off skin from the hellacious sunburn I will undoubtedly enjoy getting this very weekend.
Got my Sandcastles for Dummies book and I am so building a BIG ASS sandcastle.
With towers and windows and stuff.
You'll see the pictures.

4. Had something in the realm of nineteen million emails to return.
At my old job I could spend countless hours reading all of your blogs on HIGH SPEED and commenting and writing emails.
At home, not so much.
I've read like two blogs this week. (ALL OF YOU NEED RSS FEED!) and I don't think I commented on either because the page took too damn long to load.
So, I've been trying to write you guys back when I can.
Which obviously I suck at because I am so far behind on emails I am not getting them any more.
:(

3. I've been incredibly busy being jealous that Lola is going to IRELAND tomorrow.
That has taken up a lot of my time.

2. This whole buying a car thing is giving me a heart attack.
Everything is being put off until the VERY LAST MINUTE and thereby causing me to panic.
A lot.
Talked to my car guy on Thursday and narrowly avoided what will forever be remembered as The Almost Mini-Van Incident.
Seems he confused my wanting a Freestyle with a Freestar.
Which is a mini-van.
I literally got him on the phone mere minutes before he was going to purchase me a white SES Freestar.
It's ok.
Back away from the ledge.
I got him in time.
Of course this means he isn't even buying my car until TOMORROW!
And I am supposed to pick it up from him on WEDNESDAY.

I don't even want to talk about it anymore.
I'll have to curl up into the fetal position and chant.
And no one wants that.

1. Putting together top ten lists takes a looooong time.

I'm sorry?
What did you say?
'There are people with pitchforks and torches coming this way'?
Shit, that's what I thought you said!
Tell them to simmer down.
I'll write something.
But first, real quickly, an apology:
To any of you who may have taken offense to my recent shitty comments about Ford Taurus', my apologies. *cough cough* Karamia *cough*
They are really... nice cars... with... cool features... and stuff.
Like... they have.... a little thingy that tells you how many miles you have before you run out of gas... and have to put another forty fucking dollars in the tank that will only last you three fucking days.... -ahem- and they... well, they come in beige you know, which is like a totally rad color.... they have big seats.... oh! big back seats, if you know what I'm sayin? You know what I'm sayin'... I'm pretty sure that their safety ratings are through the roof and all too.
So, to all you Taurus drivers: nice ride.

Now, on with the show.
So, seems I owe you lovely people a post or seven.
So, let me bring to light the news I have so many times promised to share and haven't had a chance to.
VERY few of you guessed right.
Which is odd... because... well, don't you like worship me and stuff?
One would assume her followers would be more attentive, know her better, send her stuff...
Anyway, the big change in my life was that I got a new job.
Sadly it is little more exciting then the last job so I won't be going on and on about it here, boring you to tears and all.
But, it is more money and an actual opportunity for advancement which is fucking cool as shit.
The downside is that I am not online at work any more.
I mean, I am ON line but I am not able to surf aimlessly around cyberspace, mainly the blogosphere, at my leisure any more. Seems that they do actual work here.
Crazy huh?
Anyway, it is possible (notice possible, not probable) that I will one day have some free reign when it comes to that aimless surfing, but for now I am trying to keep my nose clean and make a good impression so that they will all fall in love with me.
You are all thinking, 'Hey, wasn't her nose clean when we met her too?'
Yeah, you've been tricked.
But now that you are in my web, there is no leaving.
So get comfy, relax and wait for more barely tolerable dribble.
I try and shell it out daily.
(News on the car to come, don't want to jinx it. The Car Gods are fickle creatures.)

Yeah, yeah, laugh it up but I am so beyond serious.
I am not the kind of person who makes snap decisions.
Ok, I am not the kind of person who makes snap decisions anymore.
And as I have mentioned I had only put a few minutes thought into the next car I was going to buy and it was supposed to be a Freestyle.
I like the Freestyle.
It suits me.
It's practical and perfect.
And it is what I fucking wanted.
But no, there were no Freestyles in my area or my price range.
So what did I do?
Started looking for something else.
And then what happened?
I got carried off into Lusting After Cars I Neither Need Nor Can Afford Land.
And normally, it's ok to go there because you can come back after you've been shook back into reality.
But I don't have time for all this traveling.
I have to give my rental car back on Saturday or start paying for it.
And I don't want to pay for a butt ass ugly Taurus.
And who the fuck named it a "Taurus"??? What about that boring ass car made them think "Ooooh! I know, we'll name it after a bull?"
Crackheads.

I decided last night to buy the Pacifica.
I like it.
It's hot.
And it's more than I can afford.
But while I was visiting Lusting After Cars I Neither Need Nor Can Afford Land, I picked up a nice bucket of Rationalization Dust and whenever I start to think, "Hey, Kate, that's a BAD idea." I just sprinkle some into the air and all is right again.
So, I emailed my seller last night and told him I wanted it and to please send me a complete total including all fees.
Well with fees, it was an extra $1400 smackeroos and that was already on top of 2k I didn't want to spend.
So, I decided 3400 bucks over my spending limit was too much and told him as much.
And do you know what he finally decides to tell me?
Get this, he says he can get me the Freestyle for the price I want to spend TOTAL, that is, including ALL FEES.
Well, whythefuck didn't you say so a few god damned days ago?
Huh car seller guy, huh???
So, he has said I may have to give up my dreams of a dvd player to accomplish it, but I am ok with that because I AM SICK AND TIRED OF LOOKING AT CARS ONLINE ALL FUCKING DAY.
So hopefully this whole bullshit saga will be over with soon.
*fingers crossed*

The cool thing about shopping for The Focus was that I had all the time in the world. And I took it. I shopped for two years before I found THE PERFECT DEAL.
This time I have like two weeks and THE PERFECT DEAL part duex is eluding me.
Also I am trying to supress the "fun shopping" because I don't have time for it...
You know the fun shopping.
When you look at cars you don't need (like Mustang convertibles) and cars you can't afford (anything brand new or VW) and dream a little.
I don't have time for dreaming.
I have to find TPDptII and fast.
With speed comes settling. And I was considering settling on a nice 06 Freestar in blue w/dvd and leather and a YES I AM A MOM bumper sticker on the back...
Ok, so the bumper sticker is just implied.. but you know what I mean.
It's a nice ride. It's way reasonably priced and the gas mileage ain't bad. Plus it's the same dude who sold me The Focus so we like AND trust him.
And buying a vehicle from someone you like and trust for a good deal almost cancels out the fact that you are buying a minivan.
Almost.
The silver Pacifica (which fell into the 'crappy gas mileage but effing cool' category) I was oggling sold already leaving only slim minivan pickin's from my dealer.
"Dealer"
Like I am buying drugs or something.
I may need to if I have to spend any more time on the computer!
I've been on soooo many websites and looked at soooo many cars.
And I just can't get emotionally envolved with any of them.

So, I spoke today with yet another person from my insurance company.
Her name was Summer.
That was her real name. I'm not making it up.
Summer had me very nervous as she itemized my car for me.
I knew the reason for her call was to tell me how much they were going to give me for The Focus.
And even though I knew I should have been getting a more than fair price for it, my stomach was still a little knotty waiting to hear the final number.
So, she is going over the things about my car that are giving me additional money.
Like that my car usually comes standard with a manual transmission and mine was automatic.
*cha-ching*
Four hundred bucks.
And my car usually doesn't come with air conditioning *gasp*
*cha-ching*
Five hundred bucks.
:)
When it was all said and done, they took out the 1250 dollar deductible and the 1250 dollars still owed on the car (weird huh? the numbers all matched...) and then they are sending me a check (or cheque for those of you in Canada).
The check is for 30 bucks more than the entire price of the car when I bought it.
Sweet.
So, now we go into serious shopping mode.
We have to find a car and buy it before the 22nd because that is when I will no longer have the rental car at their expense.
Yeah, they are paying for the rental car too!
Which would be waaaaay more exciting if the rental car wasn't the fucking epitome of BORING. It's a beige Taurus.
Yeah.
Beige.





So, the first car I looked at today was the Nissan Murano.

Initial thoughts: "Ooooh, we likey. Tis cute and stuff! And we dig the red/orange interior leather!"
Price shock? Uh, YEAH. Man, they are proud of this car. Even the 03's barely have any mark down. I am NOT paying three grand under fucking sticker for a three year old car.
Deal Breaker: Doesn't seat more than five that I could find.
Gas Dealio: city: 20 hwy: 25


Next was the Mitsubishi Endeavor.

Initial thoughts: "Daaaaum, it's long." {Not that kind of long. Perv.} "The stereo looks like a robot and a cd player had a baby, all chrome and shiney..."
Price shock? Price is about what I would expect in that kind of vehicle. Not many out there but I found this one in San Antonio.
Deal Breaker: There aren't many available. Not enough supply to keep the prices down. In my range already has about 50k miles on it. Plus, again, no third row seating OR DVD... And Daaaaum, it's long. I mean, who the hell makes a car that long but doesn't put a third row in it?? Plus, I am not sure what the deal is with the gear shift. Why is there a plus and minus sign on it?
Gas Dealio: city: 17 hwy: 13


Next? Buick Rainier.

Initial thoughts: "Ok, I do did that your car is The Rainier! Like, rainiest?
Yeah, shut up.
WOW!! Only THREE on ebay? That's insane. I've never seen only three of anything on ebay. Ever.
Here is the only one of the three on ebay that is even remotely in my price range. Don't you love how the pics look like they were taken in a chop shop?"
Price shock? Nah, again, this is what I would expect to pay for this kind of car.
Deal Breaker: Gas mileage is shit. 15-16 city, 19-21 hwy. And no third row. Which is shit because I searched for "third row" and "seven passenger"... Stupid search engine. And the pics took too long to load and I got bored.
Gas Dealio: city: 16 hwy: 21


Another Buick, the Buick Rendezvous.

Initial thoughts: "Buicks are purdy. On the outside. On the inside? Their cloth is butt-ass ugly."
Price shock? People seem waaay less excited about this model. Pricing is pretty decent w/low mileage.
Deal Breaker: Annhh. I am so unenthused. It says it has a third row but I didn't see one with it. Probably optional, like on the Explorer. I also didn't see any with DVD. But I am BORED with the Buicks, so moving on.
Gas Dealio: city: 19 hwy: 26


Now, The GMC Envoy. (AKA: The car Snow likes.)

Initial thoughts: "Annnh. Don't love it. Sorry Snow. It's just sooo very SUV. And it looks so very SUV. And the mileage? Not so good. But I do like it's ass. Nice rear end."
Price shock? Not bad for the big boy that this SUV is.
Deal Breaker: This is just too big. I don't even expect decent gas mileage. Looks too "Suburban-y"
Gas Dealio: city: 16 hwy: 21


Onto something I know, The Ford Explorer.

Initial thoughts: "I almost bought one of these earlier this year when I was first shopping. They are nice. A little boxy for me and the gas mileage isn't great considering it's size."
Price shock? Not awful, but not enough car for my dollar.
Deal Breaker: Don't want it. Drove it, liked it, but just not what I want.
Gas Dealio: city: 16 hwy: 21


Chevrolet Equinox.

Initial thoughts: "Why do I feel guilty even looking at a Chevy? Worked at Ford for WAAAY to long, lol. 'Equinox' is such a cool ass name for a car."
Price shock? Weren't enough for decent pricing.
Deal Breaker: Not enough for sale and no third row seating that I could find. Or maybe I have been doing this for like an hour and a half and I need to take a break :)
Gas Dealio: city: 19 hwy: 25


Suzuki XL-7 .

Initial thoughts: "I was VERY close to buying one of these in January. I like 'em. I think that they do a great job of staying small with lots of room.
Price shock? No.. The pricing is good. You can get an almost brand new XL-7 for much less than it's competitors.
Deal Breaker: None.
Gas Dealio: city: 18 hwy: 22


Honda Pilot.

Initial thoughts: Looks nice. Looks small also, but that is kind of what I am looking for.
Price shock? Given it's size in comparison to the Suzuki, it's considerably more. I put Hondas and Kias and Suzukis all in the same "cheaper" class than I do Fords or Chryslers and when they are pricing the Hondas the same as Ford, I get a little bent out of shape. :)
Deal Breaker? Price.
Gas Dealio: city: 17 hwy: 22

{I don't like Jeeps or Land Rovers, so I didn't do those. The BMW's, Mercedes' and Infiniti's are out of my price range. And the Mercury's and Lincolns are really just Ford's. I love VW's and Volvo's but both are too pricey for me. And the Porsche Cayenne is lovely but I would be dreaming. And about half way through if I was pretty sure it didn't have a third row, I didn't do it either. All gas mileage numbers are from fueleconomy.gov and I didn't crop pics because I didn't fucking want to. And now, to bed. Possibly the LOC mini-van/wagon review tomorrow or Friday.}

Well, I got the call from The Adjuster Guy today who informed me that they would be totaling my car.
For those of you wondering, apparently the reason that they are totaling it is because the impact was hard enough to set off the airbags. Between the fact that the airbags are expensive and that there is undoubtedly damage done to the vehicle from hitting the deer at a speed that would set them off, they thought totaling it was best.
So, they are sending The Focus to Oklahoma since that is apparently where cars go when they die.
Who knew?
The Adjuster Guy said there was in between five and six grand worth of damage to the car.
And even though I LOVED the Focus, I am a little relieved that I won't have to deal with all the "little stuff" that would have come up. And I am thinking the next vehicle will have a grill guard.
But now my lesson in Patience is kicking in as I will have to wait until the end of this week or the beginning of next week to buy another car.
And I am not a patient woman.
When the dude told me today that everything would take about a week, my jaw hit the floor.
A week?
What the fuck about cutting me a check takes a week?
*Deep breath in, deep breath out*
I don't even think I would really mind if I had rental car coverage.
But about ten days in a rental car at my expense is not my idea of fun.
He did inform me that my car was in "Excellent Condition" though and that I should expect a high compensation. So I am fairly confident that I will get back what I paid for it since I got such a bitching deal when I bought it. And it is only about a grand away from being paid off.
I've seen two people total their vehicles in the last year and both of them got a considerable amount more than I would have thought their vehicles worth. Jiffinner can back me up on this.
I am just hoping to get enough to cover half the cost of a new vehicle.
Which is possible.
So this week I am going to keep an eye on what my wholeseller has and make my decision.
I value all of your input :)
But, as much as I've considered the gas prices, I really want something that will seat more than five all squished up like. When I bought The Focus, I was desperate for the money it would save me in gas since my Chrysler was sucking me dry. I'm sure I was averaging something sad like fifteen miles per gallon. And I drive A LOT.
Now, I know the stigma that comes with *dun dun dun* The Mini-Van. And truth be told, the idea of being "one of those moms" isn't exactly making me jump for joy... but I am not stupid and I know that it is a good vehicle to have and very practical.
But damn it, practical just doesn't make me look all hot and stuff when I am cruising in it.
*sigh*
I am predicting much car talk this week on LOC.

So, the Insurance Guy who called me yesterday to ask me a few questions about The Focus was very nice. He asked me about the damage to the car and everytime I answered he would say either "uh-huh" or "okay" in a very that's not so bad kind of way. That lasted right up until the last few questions. It went something like this:

Him: Which part of the car hit the deer?
Me: Well, it was pretty much head on. You can see, right in the very middle of the hood, where the deer impacted the car. Dead center.
{No pun intended}
Him: Uh-huh... So, there is damage to the hood then?
Me: Significant damage. And to the bumper.
Him: Uh-huh... and the radiator?
Me: Well, we couldn't exactly pop the hood open, but just from looking under it, because it is all bent up, you could see that the radiator isn't... well, isn't where it is supposed to be. It is definitely damaged but not leaking. In fact, nothing was leaking.
Him: Okay, how about the fenders?
Me: Fenders seemed fine to me, as did the doors.
Him: Uh-huh... and the tires?
Me: All fine.
Him: Okay, what about the airbags? Did they go off?
Me: Yes. Both of them.
Him: Ohhh... And the windshield?
Me: Totally broken.
Him: Hmmmm, ok... probably from the airbags?
{Up until this moment, I was wondering exactly which part of the accident had shattered the windshield.}
Me: I guess so. I hadn't really put that together.
Him: Almost every time airbags go off, they shatter the windsheild.
Me: Ahhh, that explains it then.
Him: Ok, so I have to tell you this so you are prepared, there is a pretty good chance we will "total" the car. When airbags go off, we usually do. I just want you to be prepared for that.
Me: Well, ever since I spoke to the other chic this morning and she said that, I have been thinking about what to do if you guys do. And I want you to know, that I am ok with that.
Him: That's good to know. So, if I am on the wall with whether to "total" it or not, you are ok with me totaling it?
Me: Yes.
Him: Ok, well then I think I have everything covered.. I will be contacting you Monday to let you know one way or the other. Do you have any questions?
Me: Nope. I may later though...

So, basically, I am car shopping.
Just in case.
Since I don't have rental car coverage, I will be paying daily for "thinking" time if I have to start shopping. And those of you who know me and know me well know that I over-prepare for everything anyway.
So much so in fact that I had already started to think about what kind of car I would get after The Focus almost immediately after having got The Focus.
And that car was supposed to be in two or three years and was going to be The Ford Freestyle:



I love wagons and hatchbacks.
I'm just weird that way.
However, the Chrysler Pacifica seems to be more available and even a little cheaper for equal or better options. And both seat six or seven which is a MUST in the next car. I love The Focus but if I have to replace her, it will be to seat more people.



The guy I bought my last car from doesn't have any Freestyles right now but may next week. He does have Freestars and Pacificas. I would consider the Fresstar if I HAD to. I don't have the "I hate minivans" t-shirt and I would drive one, I just prefer the wagons.



So, what do you guys think???

Apparently my post last night offended The Be Careful What You Wish For God.
Seems he isn't so fond of hearing me bitch about how I don't have anything I can blog about and on account of it, he gave me something.
Something rather sucky.
No, no... rephrase: Something Totally Fucking Sucky.
Yeah, that's better.

So, rather than go over this bit by bit, I am going to give it you in picture order.

You can see in this photo where the deer splattered the road:


In this one, the deer:


And, my poor, poor baby:


The airbags worked:


The windshield? Not so much:


So, I am home today dealing with The Insurance People, who have been really nice. And my car is being towed to Fantasy Disco Ford so they can deem it either Fixable or Totalled.
The lady with whom I spoke said it will probably be Totalled which sucks because I LOVE MY CAR but isn't awful since it just sends me back to "GO" and I have to buy another.
And new cars are fun.

But, for the record, that is the very last time I bitch about not having anything to blog about.
Rest of the pics are here.

I'm here!
I know, I know, I should be slapped on the wrist or something. I've been a bad blogger. But there is so much I want to tell ya'll and I just can't yet.
And that is killing me.
My whole semi-anonymous thing is biting me in the ass right now.
You see, about a fourth of you that read here really know me. You know, like by a name other than 'katehopeeden'.
*From the back of the room*: you mean, "Kate" isn't her real name? *gasp*
I know, I know, you feel all betrayed and stuff.
You'll get over it.
Anyway, out of that fourth or so of you that really know me, some of you read here for reasons other than the pure enjoyment that can come from scanning over these words and chortling occasionally at not only my idiocy but my willingness to share it with the blogging world. Some of you read here for more vindictive reasons.
And those of you who do (and you know who you are... at this very moment you are sitting in your chair thinking does she mean *me*? Nah... she couldn't mean me... Well, I do mean you.) are ruining it for everyone else.
You are causing serious delays in the relaying of my mostly unimpressive stories to the general public that check back here several times a day to see if I happen to have updated anything.
(I see ya'll too and every time I see that your IP address has refreshed or checked back, I feel a pang of guilt.)
Anyway, because of The Vindictive Few, I've had to put my news and non-fictional stuff on the back burner.
Which, sadly, has left me with next to nothing to blog about.
Because, for some reason, my real life seems to be one of the better train wrecks out there.
Who'd've thunk it?

So, to sum up the non-fictional stuff that I can share with you...
**Amanda went out and got herself wretchedly sunburned in an attempt to knock me out of the running for The Mother Of The Year Award.
**Triniti got her four-year-old shots and is now conspiring with Amanda to have me completely overthrown.
**I won Emilee over with ice cream from the convenience store today so I still have her on my side.
**Arizona Summer was THE. WORST. MOVIE. EVER. Like stab-yourself-in-the-eye-with-a-spoon bad.
**Blockbuster is only carrying like six copies of The Libertine and because of that, I think the store should just be torn down. Come on Blockbuster, Johnny Depp is in the movie. What about that makes you think you won't be able to rent it. Johnny. Fucking. Depp.
**The Cake Lady got a pool which makes her Friend Stock climb an incredible amount... which is really hard for her to do since she already rocks so much.

Ok, that's all I've got for now.
There'll be more soon.

Sooo, my math sucks.
Not because I can't add but rather because I added the wrong numbers.
Which makes me blonde or something ;)

*What the fuck is she talking about?*
Keep your shorts on.
Uhhhh... or.. take them off...
You know, if your a dude and hot and stuff.
You know who you are...
;)

Anyway, I am in a period of adjustment.
And reflection.
And other deep stuff.
Yeah.
What?
Are you saying I'm not deep?
Cuz I am deep.

Or, maybe I am stalling...
Maybe I am stalling because the truth about my "Big Change" isn't nearly as exciting as the guesses I've been receiving via email.
Geez.
I mean, how can I compete with:
"You are adopting a child from Nambia and naming him Matty McHotty"
or
"I guess you're some kind of alien? and coming out of your shell? You can see X-ray?"

Or my personal favorite, "You have Matthew McConaughey tied up... and you took naked pics and are posting them online!!"
Dude, if I had even the opportunity to take those pics, you wouldn't be hearing anything from me for a long ass time.

To add to the Matthew McConaughey file were jewels such as:

"You're having McConaughotty's baby!"
*sigh*
"You've been arrested for stalking MM!"
What is it that Snow said?
Oh yeah, "First rule about Stalkers School: You don't talk about Stalker School!"
"You finally figured out where Matty lives!"
See above.
Some others:
"I think your upcoming Big Change is that you're going to cut off your hair and go with a super-short style. (And if you do, you better send it off to Locks of Love!!!)"
Not just no, but HELL NO.
"You're getting married????
to a girl????
moving???
adopting a kid????
giving a kid up for adoption???
having a sex change????"

"Are you buying a house or switching Jobs???"

"You’re getting married..."

"You're secretly married..."

"You're engaged to some secret guy you've never mentioned on your blog."

"You're in love! You'd better tell us who he is!"

"You're moving to the beach!"

LOTS of "marriage" and "secret boyfriends" and "moving" guesses, more than I care to list..
*sniff sniff*
It's like ya'll don't even know me.
"Married"??
For fuck's sake?
And give up all this?
*gestures wildly around empty room, dust settling on the bed*
Ok, shut up.

I am not getting married.
Good God.
I am in no hurry to jump into that lane of traffic.
[disclaimer: no offense to all my happily married readers]
I sort of prefer my sidewalk over here.
Where it's safe and stuff.

Plus, DO YOU GUYS EVEN READ MY BLOG?
Do you see any dudes on here?

Do I SOUND like someone who is getting laid reguarly?

Huh?
Do I?

Fuck.

hehehehe
Um... yeah.

Anyway, so the point of all this?
I have to wait a few more days to reveal the whole long story.
But, I am not getting married.
And MM still has that restraining order hasn't realized he loves me just. yet. but I am working on it.
So, keep the guesses coming and I promise I will reveal all very soon.

Watermelon Margarita

Ingredients:
16 oz seeded and blended Watermelon
1/2 Lime
6 oz Tequila
3 oz Triple sec
1 tblsp Sugar

Mixing instructions:
Cut up watermelon, removing seeds. Liquify in blender until you have about 16 oz. Add remaining ingredients, top with ice and blend until smooth. Taste and add sugar if watermelon is not sweet enough. This works well with sugar on the rim of the glass.